


Journey - The End is the Beginning

by Missing A Muse (Jennietmiller)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Fluff, Foot in mouth syndrome, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is an idiot, Let's make a lightsaber, Love, M/M, Rey Needs A Hug, Sex, The Force Ships It, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2020-11-22 18:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 63,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20878811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennietmiller/pseuds/Missing%20A%20Muse
Summary: Rey was sure it would be smooth sailing after the Battle at Crait. The Light survived to fight another day. The forces for all that was good in this galaxy prevailed and evil was forced to retreat. Yet as she fought in another battle, with death all around her, she begins to question everything that she believed that sheknew.Kylo now had everything that he wanted. The galaxy now at his command. He was the Supreme Leader and all bowed to him. All except one...Rey.The Journey that they thought ended with two halves of a broken lightsaber and an escape from a planet of red was only just beginning.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

Here we go everyone, I have been working on this story forever and knew that I shouldn't post anything until it was done. A special thanks to my heart, DangerTaylor, she is my dearest love and has been my muse and the best of friends since she replied to my first of many comments for "First Order of Business" on Fanfiction.net. I latched on like an Amoebe and won't let go. : )

It's going to be a wild ride and I hope that you all enjoy this Reylo tale. Leave me a note and let me know what you think. So! Without further ado...

**Chapter 1**

_Why am I fighting?_

It was a question that Rey asked herself daily. Why was she, a scavenger from Jakku, fighting? She was a 22-year-old untrained Force user playing war with abilities that she didn't know how to use. Rey had nothing to offer this never-ending war between the First Order and the Resistance. She was simply a wanna-be Jedi with no lightsaber.

There was no future for her here. There was no future for her anywhere, she feared. As long as she had the Force, she would be hunted. She stood with the Resistance in yet another battle, adding to their history of senseless carnage. She the last _Jedi_, fighting, and killing, wasting life...for what? 

Life was a precious gift that Rey used to fight to protect. On Jakku, Rey struggled to survive daily and there were times in her past where she should have taken life but she couldn't find it in herself to follow through. The child who was filled with love and hope for her family to return grew into a jilted misused weapon of death in the name of what the Resistance considered _right_. 

Everything about this was wrong. She came to this conclusion while looking in the eyes of a dying Stormtrooper, just a frightened kid meeting the evil eyes of the enemy. Rey stood over him, her heated blaster dropped to the ground.

The mortally wounded trooper fearfully looked into her tear-filled eyes while he took his final breaths. Rey moved her trembling hand to close the trooper's eyes, crying for the loss she felt in the Force. A loss that was due to her, a _Jedi_, a protector of the peace.

The world around her slowed to a crawl, the bodies of the dead crowded around her. The soldiers before her bleed the same, they all lived and died and she could feel every one of them through the Force as the flame of life was snuffed out. The Force darkened around her and Rey felt cold.

If this was what it meant to be a Jedi, what she started training for, then she didn't want to be one. There was no balance to this senseless violence. Just two immovable forces laying waste to everything in their path. The Resistance was helping the First Order destroy the galaxy that both claimed to be protecting.

The Resistance filled the heads of impressionable recruits that the First Order was cold, calculating, and heartless. Yet at the core of it all, they had the means to enable real change. The First Order she fought daily was harsh, treacherous, and unmoving. Rey hated to admit it but she closely followed the actions of the new Supreme Leader. She watched on bated breath with the galaxy while Kylo began helping where he could from behind the drawn lines of war. He provided aid to the planets that were destroyed by the First Order and the Resistance. He was abolishing slavery, providing jobs to the poor, building new hospitals, establishing schools, the list went on and on. She was forced to admit that she was wrong about him, which was a bitter pill to swallow.

The actions of the young Supreme Leader weren't what she expected and it led her to second guess her decision to leave him on the _Supremacy_. It made sense to her at the time, to flee from the evil tyrant that she may have felt _something_ for, the one who watched while his people killed everything she held dear. When Rey was on Jakku she believed that if one looked hard enough, she could see the good in everything and that with enough effort, everyone deserves a chance. 

Why was it so hard for her to believe in Kylo Ren? Why did it hurt so much to see women fawn over him on the galaxy-wide holos? The rumors that he had a woman in his bed at all times filled her with a rage that she didn't understand. In the end, there was no proof, yet the thought of him touching another brought tears to her eyes and caused her stomach to clench.

_Why does it hurt so much?_

The Resistance was self-righteous and free. Yet at their core, there was nothing. Their leaders were like petulant children raging against their parents, shouting but never listening. Yes, the ideals were there but they are rash and impatient. The old faces of the Republic were being systematically killed off by Kylo and his Knights of Ren. The new generation was merely fighting because it was all they had ever known. Most of their ranks and recruits had never even lost anything to the First Order but their parents had and they followed the old path of hatred.

Rey numbly walked the cold metallic halls of the base they were hiding in with Finn and Poe. She was so far into her mind that she didn't notice when her friends led her to the war room. They made plans to destroy Stormtrooper training facilities and to steal supplies from desperate people on war-battered planets. Was she the only one who cared that there were children in those training facilities? Was she truly the only one who knew the pain of hunger, to be stranded with too few resources? This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't what she signed up for. She didn’t walk away from possible happiness for this.

What she gave up _him_ for.

Rey stared at her open palms, permanently stained with the blood of innocents, and came to a decision. She may not yet know who she was after her awakening but she refused to be the weapon of terror they wanted her to be. 

It was time to leave and Rey began to plan.

**~~ Page Break ~~**

Rey stood alone in her room when she was flooded with a wave of confusion and anger, a sign that her bond-mate was furious. Snoke taunted that he bridged the bond between them, but it was yet another lie he fed to Kylo Ren as a mechanism for control. It made her heart clench in pain to call the man she had grown to care for Kylo Ren, while also finding that it was oddly soothing. The agony in her chest helped her to accept that the man known as Ben Solo was truly dead. 

At that time, Rey felt immediate relief the moment she admitted defeat in the redemption of Kylo Ren. For a fleeting moment in her lonely life, she thought he had changed, but now Kylo Ren was evermore the monster he admitted to being during one of their early bonds. 

In the heat of battle in the throne room they were one, then Kylo made the backhanded offer and her suspicions were proven that he never really wanted her. The scared abandoned girl raged against the cage in which she trapped herself, in her mind...for no one ever really wanted her. Kylo Ren had only wanted her for her power and to further the agenda of the First Order.

Rey saw Kylo Ren through the bond twice since the Battle of Crait. The first time they were linked was harsh, his rage still raw at her denial in the throne room of the _Supremacy_. His essence was immediately bathed in red as he began attacking everything around her while not causing more than a singed hair on her head. 

She let him rage while maintaining a picture of serenity as she sat before him with her legs crossed and her eyes closed. She knew that he couldn’t affect anything in her environment but wondered what around him was in pieces. Rey slowly opened her eyes once he fizzled out, his breathing heavy. 

_“Are you quite finished?” _Rey asked, stifling a grin when he dropped the cross-guard saber from his hand. His dumbstruck expression was one that she would never forget and he was unable to offer any reply as the Force gently let the bond close.

The next time the bond opened, she was prepared for it, the prickle at the back of her mind made her aware of his presence and that he would soon materialize. There was something about this intrusion that felt different, thumping and curious. 

She was dressing in her quarters for the day when she felt the connection just before he came through, possibly the worst timing ever as she was only clad in a pair of black panties. Thank the Force she was quick enough to jerk on her breast binding over her chest before he materialized before her. 

She heard a sharp intake of breath before the bond between them flushed with heat causing Rey to cut her unimpressed eyes towards his shocked form.

*** _Previously_

_“Are you here for round two?” _She remembered asking him, snapping her fingers to get his attention, as he appeared to be preoccupied with taking in the sight of her barely clad form. “My eyes are up here, Kylo,” she finished, pointing up to her face.

_“Why did you do it?” _He questioned in anger, that same hurt expression on his face from when she closed the door to the _Falcon _on him as he kneeled alone in that bunker on Crait. _“I offered you everything! Tell me why?” _His voice boomed, desperate for an answer.

Kylo found that he couldn't take his eyes off of her lean body as she bent at the waist to slide a pair of worn pants up her strong legs and curvy hips. The woman before him was not the girl he captured on Takodana. She has been taking care of herself by eating and sleeping properly, the fruits of her change in lifestyle on display for him in the form of fuller hips and plumper breasts. It was taking every shred of control in his body to not groan in pleasure just by the sight of her. A thin linen shirt was quickly draped over her full chest and soft shoulders, her skin finally hidden from his eyes.

“I have never wanted to rule the galaxy, Kylo.” She told him in a tired voice. “I wanted to see the galaxy, not rule over it, Kylo! In the short time that I have been off Jakku, I’ve seen more green than I ever thought existed. I’ve witnessed civilizations thrive and parish. It’s amazing to just sit and feel things grow in the Force. I never knew life could be so magical.”

“_I could have given you that!” _ Kylo passionately responded, coming to stand beside her. He was facing her profile, hands clenched at his sides.

“No, what you offered me was a kept life on a cold Star Destroyer. I need more than the two of us just existing to fight in another battle. There would be nothing but rage and anger, snuffing out all light.”

"You offer me a life without love. We've already lived that life Kylo! The two of us were starved for affection, craving for it only to have it kept from us! You would ask me to willingly do that to myself again.” Rey turned to him, “You can not give me what I need, Kylo, not as who you have chosen to be.”

In the midst of it all, he looked at Rey like he had never seen her before. _“You once called me by another name.”_

“Yes, I did,” Rey answered, tired from her emotional outburst and annoyed that the name she called him was all he took from her heated speech. 

_“But not anymore.” _He managed to choke out as his throat closed, despair flooding his strong features. His eyes held a weakness in them while she knew he was desperately trying to stop his lips from quivering.

“No, not anymore. It was a fantasy, dreamed up by a naive girl from a desert planet who wanted to believe you could have wanted something else.” Rey answered truthfully, looking away from him once more. “Why does it matter what I call you, Kylo? I see the holos of the many women who would call you by any name you want." Rey shrugged her shoulders with a sigh as if this wasn't killing her, "I'm glad I was easy to get over.”

“_There are no others, Rey! Look at me,” _he demanded, prompting her to slowly turn her body towards him. 

“I'm tired, Kylo, and I refuse to fight with you any longer. Every day I am starting to understand part of why Luke left and hid away.” Rey sighed, looking into his deep brown eyes. “You tell me to 'Kill the past’ but you aren't! You are still running from it, still that boy who woke to find a lightsaber hovering over your head that night. It's not the past you are killing, it's the future! How can you not feel the Force! Can't you feel the pain that your _First Order_ is causing through the Force?”

Rey was crying now, his intense gaze locked on her face. He began to slowly reach his hand towards her. She took a tentative step back, knowing instinctively that his touch had the power to weaken her resolve. 

“The bond linking us cannot be severed but I believe that I am now strong enough to block you out.” She said as she slowly stretched out a thin hand to move a strand of thick curly black hair away from his face. “The truth is that I have never known Ben Solo, not really. It's Kylo Ren that I trusted enough to deliver myself to that day but I've come to realize that I'm just not enough for him.”

His eyes widened as shock overtook his expression, but his hands slowly reached for her once more.

“Goodbye Kylo Ren.”

_*** End_

The Galaxy found it was strange how the rumors ended that day along with denials to previous _relations_ between the Supreme Leader and the Cores female elite, but not Rey. That was eight weeks ago and she felt him pounding at the walls she fortified every day, calling out to her in a voice filled with longing.

_Rey...Please_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I am working on a schedule of Sunday and Thursday; last night was hopefully a fluke because man was I busy. I was taking a new 2020 calendar class at my local stamp and scrapbooking shop. All my love to my heart for staying on top of me…lol
> 
> Thank you for reading and reviewing!

**Chapter 2:**

_Please...Lost...Afraid_

General Leia Organa woke that morning with yet another horrible headache and a feeling of deeply rooted despair. She slowly moved to the refresher and started the process of washing her face before putting on her lotions. Her mother raised her to remember that, _“Everyone is watching so always put your best face forward.” _Even in the midst of the war, she still made sure to keep the little routines, maintaining a sense of normalcy.

Her eyes trail down to the pink hued rock that innocently hung around her neck on a thin golden chain. The crystal was useless for decades, however, it flared to life the day she met _the girl_. The pink crystal began to pulse, she could even hear it speak to her through the Force. 

_Help...Lost..._

Truth be told, Leia has bigger issues to worry about, like the war or her pain and grief for the loss of her son, for the loss of Han, for the hundreds that died in the escape to Crait. She didn’t have time to dwell on this stupid crystal that decided to make itself known after lying dormant for 35 years. Leia would never forget the journey that she embarked on with Luke, what seemed like ages ago, for this seemingly worthless crystal. She remembered everything from the battles, the emotional and physical pain and at last they succeeded in their mission to find the crystal hanging around her neck.

But the flashbacks and newly stirred emotions of the past haven’t provided her with answers to the questions currently on her mind. Which is why, after so many years is this hunk of rock reaching out through the Force now? She sighed as she moved to her room and looked out the window at the white sheets of snow falling from the sky.

Leia would be forever grateful to the lonely girl known as Rey. From the moment she met the innocent yet resilient girl from Jakku, Leia knew that Rey would be the only one that could bring back her son. With Rey at her side, Leia somehow felt her son through the Force once more. ever since Rey returned to what was left of the Resistance on Crait. Immediately following the battle on Crait, Ben’s signature was angry, his fury shook the heavens, yet now she felt that he was troubled and filled with fear.

Rey had been confined to her small quarters for over a day now, and she woke with a sickening cough, followed by a weak whimper of discomfort. It started with a low-grade fever, then Rey became weaker until her lungs felt constricted within her chest. It was Finn who found her on the floor of her refresher, her lips blue from the lack of oxygen.

Leia could feel that her son was raging like a caged animal within the Force, but she could not fathom why his dark signature had intensified in the last few hours. 

The medical droid advised the General that it was the cold of space combined with Rey’s previously malnourished body being accustomed to a burning desert climate that caused the illness ravaging the poor girl. Leia cautiously approached the med bay doors, not surprised to see Finn, Rose, and Poe watching their friend through the viewing windows as she lay resting on an old infirmary cot.

“How is she?” Leia questioned, as she heard the pained whimpers from inside the room.

“Her oxygen levels are failing and she’s burning up. It’s been days and the fever keeps climbing.” Finn’s brows pinched together in genuine concern, “General, the fever is cooking her alive! The medical droid says we will have to put her in a tank to cool her if the fever doesn’t break.” Finn’s anxiety was peaking, but he was able to somewhat calm down when Rose placed her hand reassuringly on his back. “It will terrify her to be put in that tank.”

Leia sighed to herself as she looked back through the window. Rey was covered with thermal blankets and monitors beeped with readouts of her vital signs. Dark circles painted the skin under Rey’s eyes while the rest of her face was pale and shone with a thin layer of sweat. Her body constantly jerked, chills, and a rasp sounded deep in her chest with each struggled breath. They were forced to use oxygen continuously, her illness constricting almost all of her airflow.

_What a mess,_ Leia thought, looking at the failing body of the Resistance’s brightest spark.

**~~ Page Break ~~**

It has been ten weeks since Rey closed the bond and whispered _goodbye_ to him with tears running down her cheeks and pain in her eyes. Kylo will never forget the despair in her hazel eyes and that he was the one that put it there.

Four weeks to rage in denial. Two weeks to dwell on why she made the decision to shut him out. One week of longing to see her. Two weeks of using his new resources to hunt the stubborn woman down. 

And one week of terror as he felt her dying through the Force.

Kylo vividly remembers waking in his quarters feeling feverish and uncomfortable. The heat lasted days, never dwindling only intensifying. 

Everything changed on a fateful day, weeks ago while he was in deep meditation. Kylo was violently forced out of his focused calm when he realized that he couldn’t breathe. He struggled to his knees, his chest feeling crushed by an invisible force, causing him to gasp for air.

It hit him like a ton of bricks when he realized...he was feeling Rey. 

Kylo instantly reached out across their bond and felt the disturbance in the Force. His bond-mate was deathly ill. The thought of losing her filled him with a terror that he has only ever known once.

The night he woke to see his _beloved_ Uncle standing over him, lightsaber lit and raised overhead with madness in his eyes.

Kylo immediately began mentally attacking the walls she built to separate their minds. He raged with a force filled with anger and heart clenching concern for her safety. 

Rey continued to resist him, even in her weakened state, she still fought him. One day when this passes, he will applaud her for her strength of will, however at this time she needed to let him in.

_Please Rey, please let me see you. I must see you. No more rage, no more temper...you must let me see you. _

His fear brought him to his knees, the bond fading out before weakly returning to him. Rey was dying and he would never feel her again. To Kylo, this was unacceptable...unfathomable.

_You will not leave me!_

Kylo shot to his feet in the middle of his quarters, closed his eyes and called upon the Force. The Force forged this bridge between them and now it will help him save her life. The darkness flooded his entire being while the light began to timidly accept him once more. 

The two halves of him were at war and driving his desperation, she would not deny him...not now…

**~~ Page Break ~~**

Rey faded in and out of consciousness, knowing that the defenses she built against Kylo would no longer hold him at bay. Since the day that she tearfully shut him out, she felt him, just a prickle at the back of her mind, as he consistently pounded against the walls. His darkness was what she fears, and Rey felt in the core of her overheated body that the man Kylo could have been, her Ben, was dead.

Back in the throne room, she gave him another choice. She had asked him to come home and he denied her fragile heart. In turn when she rejected his hand, to rule the galaxy at his side, when he didn't get his way, he tried to kill her while she protected what was left of the Resistance on Crait. Rey couldn't figure out what else he wished to do to her since they had nothing more to say to each other, so she's been blocking him ever since their last meeting.

Rey wanted to forever hold onto hope that he could be hers. Another chill rushed her body as she recalled the Force vision that she witnessed on Ahch-To the moment they touched. A future of them as a family that was built out of true love. Rey was now forced to accept that this future was over for them. 

The fantasy was over before it ever truly began, like a sappy romantic holovid that she remembered watching while living with Unkar Plutt. The few times that she could sneak into his shop, with him drunk on the couch and the holovid still playing in the background.

Rey would sometimes wonder if Kylo could feel her despair through the bond like she could feel his uncontrollable rage and feelings of betrayal at her denial. 

Now she could feel his relief, terror, and fear as she woke up on a medical bay cot. He was most likely angry that he couldn't deliver the killing blow himself, she mused. Kylo began his attack on her weakened defenses with a slight nudge against her mental walls. He was merely testing the strength of her resistance against him. 

Rey could hear him plead and beg her to open the bond so that he could see her. The energy it took to keep Kylo at bay was steadily becoming exhausting, and when she felt her lungs painfully constrict again, a medical droid placed a clear oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. Rey knew she no longer had the energy to hold him back this time, feeling angry tears gathering in her eyes before she felt him testing the barrier once more.

Like a rush of the harsh winds on Hoth...he was there.

Kylo was looking down on her, much like he did when she delivered herself to him on that damn Star Destroyer what seemed like a lifetime ago. However, his face held an expression that looked almost like concern. Why was he concerned? He denied her, threw away her heart, told her that she was nothing, and treated her like she was dirt under his feet.

_You are sick_, his deep voice echoed in her head.

Rey had enough strength to whimper while her lungs tried to soak up as much oxygen as they could. On her next inhale a blast of medication was introduced into the mask. She sighed in relief as the tightness in her chest began to relax and the oxygenation levels on the attached monitors started to rise. Her arms were tucked to her sides and her thin fingers clenched the threadbare med bay blankets tight enough to almost tear. Her eyes attempted to follow his oppressive form, his gaze followed the wires that were hooked to her frail body so he could study the monitors in her room. The panic that showed on his face confused her.

_Your temperature is too high...Your lungs are failing...Your body is shutting down._

Rey was forced to helplessly watch while he came to stand over her again. In her weakened state, his body appeared taller and overwhelming compared to hers. She would have loved to have had the chance for Kylo’s body to cover hers, to know how it felt to surrender to him, just once.

Scared and unable to move, Rey tried to stop the memories of her past from coming back to haunt her. She felt unprotected and weak, and on Jakku that would mean death. _They_ would come for her if she was weak, _they _would hurt her if she let her guard down. 

Rey’s eyes widened when he outstretched his black leather gloved hand, and in an act of self-preservation, she pulled up her arm to block him before he could make contact with her overheated body. Kylo's face immediately hardened in concentration as he fought her powers. They both knew it was futile and her body quickly gave up, releasing his hand. Her breathing cracked before she let out a weak whimper. 

_I won’t harm you..._

Rey pulled sharply away from him, the mask slipping from her face. She struggled to breathe for mere seconds before the medical droid replaced the mask, and her breathing regulated. She tried to focus on the man standing over her, unable to see the Kylo Ren that she had grown to hate as he took off his glove and gently placed his cool trembling hand on her heated forehead. The man she stared up at through feverish eyes was unfamiliar to her. His concern for her was true as he felt her flinch the moment his skin touched hers. 

She couldn’t stop the memories from her past that she hid deep within the dark recesses of her mind, the trauma that haunted her dreams at night.

_Trust me...please_

Rey’s fatigued body began shutting down from exertion while her frightened mind was not prepared for the horrors that awaited her.

Rey knew that nothing would ever be the same between them again after this, a heated tear rolling down her cheek. It would be one last ditch effort to implore Kylo to leave her be, to grant her this one kindness towards his mortal enemy. Rey saw his eyes widen before feeling the power of the Force trickle from his hand into her pliant mind.

_She wasn't prepared...and neither was he…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! Here we go with Chapter 3, I hope that you enjoy the chapter. Reviews keep me going and I love hearing from you! All my love to my heart 😊
> 
> Warning – This chapter is mainly a flashback of Rey’s past on Jakku, and it is going to be a bit rough. Keep in mind this is completely my interpretation and is in no mind canon. Mind the tags, please. You have been warned.

**Chapter 3:**

**_Memories**_

_You do not belong in this place, Kylo Ren..._Rey’s voice rang in his mind before she slipped into a restless sleep.

The room around him faded to black and he focused on the Force around him, still being able to feel Rey before he realized that he had been pulled into her mind. He stood tall in black robes as the light started to rise and he took in his surroundings. There was sand...nothing but sand. He was but a ghost in her dreams searching the sands for something until he found her weak Force signature. 

The child in front of him was a small little thing in tan rags that were too big for her. The child's cheeks were bruised and her eyes filled with fear while she screamed and tried to fight a foe much larger than herself. 

Kylo watched in amazement as an expression of determination crossed her face and the small rocks around her started to vibrate in the sand. The feeling of awe immediately left him the moment he witnessed a large hand coming down to slap her cheek harshly, her body crumpling to the ground. His fists clenched in anger as he watched her attacker grab the neck of her top before jerking the clothing up to lift the unconscious girl. The sight of her injured body while she uselessly dangled from the neck of her ragged clothing made his chest clench before flooding with rage when he saw a cluster of people, two males and one female trading money with filthy grins on their faces. The life of a defenseless child for money.

_I was always used...it was always the same...I hoped you were different_

The sands around him twisted, showing a dark alley through yards of woven fabric that would have been used for walls of the shops in an outpost settlement. Kylo shook his head to clear his thoughts just as he came up short, stumbling over his large feet at the sound of a whip cracking, followed by a feminine scream of pain. Kylo was forced to watch as the whip broke the skin of a slightly older Rey, her voice screaming in agony while a small stack of scavenged items lay under her. The whip descended on her youthful skin over and over, leaving the skin on her back flayed and bleeding. Her attacker continued until no cries were heard from her meaning she was finally immobile. Their eyes met for a moment and he immediately felt nauseous when he saw the extent of her injuries through the eyes of a woman who began treating her wounds. The feeling of something soft and cool providing comfort and healing was a respite for her beaten body.

_It never was enough for them...He wanted more_

Unkar Plutt, her guardian, the junkyard master of Jakku began to approach her from time to time, leering at her blooming feminine body. When she denied his advances, Plutt made sure that she didn't eat. Kylo followed the starving girl to her _home_, a fallen AT-AT, night after night. His eyes would take stock of every bruise and stitched injury, old injuries reopening time and time again. Rey would deny all accusations that anyone was helping her until the day her protector was caught. Her sole protector was planning to get them off the planet! The two of them filled with hope as they snuck into the night, and into a horrible trap. 

_Hope always dies in the end_

The same woman could be heard screaming in agony while Rey's arms were being held, a harsh grip on her long hair forcing her to watch as her protector was brutally taken by many until the body of the thin woman was still. He watched as Rey was thrown before her friend’s body, most likely wishing that she could heal her friend’s pain. 

It was then that Kylo took a moment to study young Rey’s protector. There was something familiar about her features, reminding him of a friend or perhaps a foe. His attention was drawn back to Rey, as the girl wept for her fallen comrade, as she took her last breaths of life. The woman's pale skin was painted with blood, staining it almost as red as her hair.

The sands whipped around her lithe frame as Rey stood tall and brave, her body swaying before Plutt while defending herself with her staff from the junkyard dealer who was also, unfortunately, her guardian. Kylo could feel her terror as the drugs, that had been unwelcomely introduced into her system, ran rampant through her body, weakening her unknown Force defenses. The Force slammed against the cage in Rey’s mind, desperately trying to protect its master. It was finally a blaster stun bolt to the back that took her down. Kylo raged like a wild beast but was unable to intervene, when he saw a tall man dressed in the familiar tan rags of a scavenger approach her prone body. Kylo couldn’t make out the man’s features due to the dark tinted goggles that he wore to shield his eyes and the heavy tan fabric covering his mouth and nose. The man squatted in front of her unprotected body, then Kylo heard him speak to her in a horrific voice that sent chills up his spine. It would be a voice that he would never forget.

_“You're mine now, pretty little Scavenger bitch”_

Kylo’s eyes widened as he tried to free himself from the constraints of the Force vision that would not allow him to provide her any aid. A broken sob escaped him as he was forced to watch this demon that haunted Rey’s dreams rip through her clothes to reach her delicate sun-kissed skin underneath. He prayed that she remained unconscious through the attack, but it wasn't to be.

Kylo turned his head away from the scene, partly not to witness what was to come, but also ashamed that he could do nothing more than stand by as Rey was split in two, both body and soul. He heard Rey scream in agony as her innocence was ripped from her, terrified eyes meeting the crystal blue eyes of her attacker. The man ripped down the fabric covering the lower part of his face, allowing Kylo to view the face of the monster above her. The face she saw that attacked her was youthful, with dark brown stubble on his face and a set of full lips. Her attacker kept the tan cloth hood over his hair, allowing sandy blonde tendrils of wavy hair to fall down his face. The man’s angelic blue eyes held evil in them that Kylo knew all too well, it was a look he has seen in his own eyes. In another life, her attacker would have been labeled _handsome_, yet now all Kylo saw was _evil_. 

_A true monster...A monster Kylo would remember_

Rey begged and pleaded for _him_ to stop until her throat was raw and she finally accepted that all she could do was close her eyes and wait for it to be over. 

The man dressed once more in his scavenger jags, leaving Rey beaten and bloody on the sandy floor of a tent. Kylo watched the man strut from the enclosure, seemingly proud of what he had just taken before he traded credits with Plutt, they both wore evil smirks on their faces. Her innocence, precious and pure was sold to the highest bidder. 

_Why do you not watch? _

Kylo opened his eyes, her voice startling him. Rey, or at least a glowing ethereal figure of Rey, stood before him in a floor-length flowing sheer white dress, her focus was not on him but was an indifferent observer to her younger and unsavory memories before turning to face him.

_Is this not what you wanted, Kylo Ren?... You are no better than them...You wanted me for the same reasons...Men of power always lie_

Kylo shook his head in denial, his sight unwillingly catching a glimpse of what Rey lived through once more as he began to reach for the ethereal woman in front of him.

_You were right though...I am nobody...there truly is no place for me...I should just..._

Rey faded from him...his voice screaming out her name.

Kylo shook his head, trying to make sense of her memories. The memories were spastic and confusing to follow. There were many more that flashed across his mind from her time on Jakku, but moving forward he was forced to watch their first meeting, rejoicing in her wonder and fear at seeing him come for her the first time. She was watching him defend her fear fueled blaster shots with his cross-guard lightsaber and the Force. He felt how confused she was when she felt him hold her captive with the Force alone. He reveled in the heat that flowed into her body the moment he removed his helmet and she saw his face for the first time. There was a part of Rey that wanted him in that interrogation room that day. The lonely scavenger girl craved his darkness just as much as she desired his fragile sliver of light that held compassion for her from the start.

Kylo Ren was imposing and sinful in her eyes. He felt her fear and betrayal at the killing of his father, her lust and desire for him while she fought him in the snowy forest as the planet base fractured around them. His breath caught and body hardened when he caught the hidden part of her that desired to be bested that night in the snow, to claim her by force and teach her the ways of the darkness that always held inside of her. It saddened him to learn that the only reason she did not accept his half-baked offer on the snowy cliff was that because felt that he hated her and would only hurt her, like other men in her past did. 

Kylo mourned over the wasted time they could have had together. The memories that they would have made.

He saw the bond that they shared, it was strong and true. The sheer will she had to have in order to resist the pull to him was staggering. He heard her screams of pain and watched his Master torture her once more. Her confusion at why he kneeled and merely watched that monster harm and belittle her. There was a strong feeling of peace and belonging as they fought together and protected each other against the Praetorian Guards. It was quickly followed by a feeling of betrayal so painful that it brought him to his knees. He was then kneeling by his fallen form in the throne room, watching her stand over him, wondering what Rey did while he was unconscious. Rey kneeled and checked to make sure he was alive, staying by his side and guarding him against the falling debris of the _Finalizer_ before placing a kiss on his brow and painfully walking away. 

Rey loved him, Kylo concluded.

The feelings were pure and true, there was no dark and no light, there was only love for his being. His eyes widened at how positively sinful her dreams were of them. The dreams she had of them lit his body on fire and he wanted this imperfectly perfect girl. Kylo lived through her pain when he denied her pleading with him in Snoke’s throne room and the breaking of her heart when he ordered his army to kill her on sight. He knew Rey was on the Falcon and still ordered her death, so lost in the darkness at that time. That was the moment Rey began to give up on him, the thought of this made his heart clench in pain. Her visions of their future were fading fast from his sight as he struggled to grab onto them.

It was an iron grip on his arm that abruptly stopped him. His eyes followed the length up Rey's arm to finally rest on her furious face.

_They are no longer your concern, Kylo Ren._

Kylo wrenched his arm from her grip and grabbed the fading visions with all of his strength.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On to Chapter 4, thank you for reading. Give me some love if you are enjoying the story…let me know if you aren’t…I appreciate every one of you! To my Heart, thank you for all you are! 
> 
> Warning: We have some naughtiness in this chapter for the first time in the story. So be prepared for sexy fun times.

**Chapter 4:**

_** Vision **_

Kylo didn’t have time to think before his subconscious was thrown into the visions that Rey was given by the Force while training on Ahch-To. The vision of them, of their future, that was the catalyst that brought Rey to him on the Supremacy, that had her reaching for him, offering help and guidance back to the light. The vision that set the course towards the demise of Supreme Leader Snoke. 

Unlike the other memories and visions where he was merely a silent observer trapped within a glass cage, his being was thrown into what he hoped was his future self. A future self that was currently driving into Rey’s yielding body. The intense pleasure of her tightly wrapped around him, combined with the sound of her crying out for him, forced his body and mind to pause, causing the strong thrusts of his hips into the cradle of her thighs to falter. 

With his momentary change in pace, Rey groaned in frustration and he felt slightly ashamed of denying her even a second of pleasure. But he found his rhythm again and he threw his head back, eyes sliding closed and mouth falling open wide as he felt sweat-drenched hair lay on his neck. He released an animalistic groan the moment her already tight cunt stuttered and began to lock around his hard cock. The feeling of her body under him was so real that every muscle in his back constricted painfully while his strong arms held his heavy chest over her smaller frame causing them to shake with exertion. 

His vision blurred and his eyes crossed at the blissful feeling of her full breasts that were tightly pressed against his sweat covered body. Her voice, which was normally angry and accusing him of his latest sins, was now begging him for something that she now knew that only he could provide. 

Kylo instinctually hoisted her right leg up close to her chest, gripping the trembling appendage tightly behind her knee. He was rewarded the moment he saw her pleasure filled hazel eyes pop open before immediately rolling towards the back of her head, all the while arching her back off the bed. She clamped down on him, and he struggled to work through her orgasm. He began drilling her into the plush mattress that lay on the silver steel bed frame as it now slammed violently against the durasteel walls of his quarters on the _Finalizer._ The poor welds that held the frame together were trying to absorb the violent force behind his thrusts. Kylo knew that the bed was close to breaking as their combined Force signatures began to pulse, causing the lights above their heads to flicker and start to crack. The metal plumbing above their heads was warping and twisting. Even the air they were breathing felt heavy as the Force wreaked havoc in the room around them right before he threw his head back and roared her name. 

The entire Star Destroyer will know of his conquest on this night.

Kylo lazily closed his eyes, basking in the relief that his intense orgasm gifted him, before he lost feeling in his entire body, the feeling of pins and needles spread from his toes to the crown of his head. It made his stomach clench, nausea rolling through him as his consciousness was once more diverted into yet another version of himself. 

The home in front of him was familiar, but one that he had only seen in books. It was nestled in-between the foothills on a lake that sparkled like molten gold as the sun dipped towards the horizon. Rich green vines wove over the back terrace, reaching to the clear blue skies above them. The light fragrance of ever blooming jasmine filled the air with a gentle kindness that he never knew he was missing in his life until this moment. 

He wandered through the halls of the home, searching for something until at last he finally sees who he was looking for. Rey was standing before him, her face gentle and beautiful. This home was a haven, full of love and brimming with power, light, and darkness. Kylo knew immediately that this moment in time was her vision of them, the vision that he now knew he carelessly threw away that night in the throne room. 

His lonely scavenger girl stood before him in a floor length dress of pure white. She had purple flowers braided in her long chestnut hair, there was a delicate golden crown that rested innocently on her head which sparkled like starlight. The breathtaking woman that stood with her back to him was his queen and the pure light to balance his overwhelming darkness.

Kylo looked on with jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach as he heard his vision doppelgänger call to Rey, approaching her and walking right through his ghostly form. He knew it was foolish to be envious of himself, but in the present, Rey would never look at him like the goddess in white, the love of his life, gazed at the interloper. 

From behind the glass walls the visions had caged him behind, he watched Rey open her arms wide, welcoming the dark figure into her embrace, and then lifted her smiling face up to accept his kiss. As she turned, Kylo was left gob smacked, his doppelgänger dropped to his knees and placed a matching kiss to Rey’s heavily pregnant stomach. A large hand laid across the stretched white fabric of her dress and he looked up at her with a smile, telling her in a voice filled with wonder that he could feel their son kick against his palm.

Rey lovingly ran her gentle fingers through his wavy black hair, placing her hand over his, the light reflecting off the silver band that adorned a finger on her left hand. 

_I love you...We love you, _her tone was so intimate that now Kylo felt that he was intruding on the tender moment.

His future self stood, wrapping her in an embrace while he continued to caress her stomach. Now Kylo did look away. If this was not to come to pass, he didn’t want to see anymore. If this was to be taken from him he would rather not be forced to watch the happiness that would never happen.

The snapping sound of a lightsaber igniting was what brought his attention back to the scene before him. He blinked in shock but quickly recovered when he saw the unstable red blade that now impaled his love. His doppelgänger’s horrified gaze was locked with Rey’s shocked eyes, both of their hands on the crossguard hilt where it was pressed against her middle.

His voice was ragged as he called out to her, his fists slamming against his invisible prison. He needed to get to her so he closed his eyes and summoned the Force, pressing his palms to the glass and pushed with all the backing of his dark power.

Rey’s pinched expression relaxed and she reached a trembling hand up, placing it upon the scarred face of the man standing in front of her. For a moment she looked relieved and she whispered _Thank you_, as her body crumbled to the floor, deep red seeping onto and staining her white dress.

Sweat now covered Kylo’s face as his rage continued on the Force that contained him. The woman dying mere feet from him seemed to gaze in his direction.

_Let go_, she softly spoke the words that he carelessly spoke to her once before. _Kill it if you have to._

The words cut into him as he realized that Rey was letting go of any future the Force had shown her. The only way she could deny fate was if she hated Kylo for killing her and their innocent son. This is the way she needed it to be.

He felt the two Force signatures begin to slowly fade into the Force and at that moment he was finally released from his constraints. His body lunged for her, falling to the floor as he clutched her limp form to his chest. The knees of his pants quickly became saturated with her blood and his eyes stung as he wept into her hair.

“Don't go, please,” Kylo begged the dying woman in his arms. He searched for that flicker of light and tried to keep Rey with him, knowing his son was already gone. The loss of the child in her womb was pure agony but losing this beautiful woman in his arms was sure to kill him. He pulled back and shook her, forcing her weak eyes to look at him.

_The sound of a song filled her developing ears. A voice that was gentle and kind, yet sad. A strong heart that beat to protect her, a young mother alone. Rey could remember her laugh, even though it was muffled. The sweet voice that sounded above her was filled with love until…_

Kylo took a deep ragged breath before looking down at her closed eyes. The dead weight in his arms and her absence in the Force filled his soul with pain. He would do anything to bring her back, to make things right.

_“It is said that the Force shows you all that you need to know.” _A new voice cut through the red haze that was now flooding his sight.

He only looked up to tell the speaker of the voice to let him be in his grief, but he was not expecting the glowing azure form of the one person he forever longed to see. “Grandfather?”

_“It’s strange how I finally get to meet my wayward grandson in the fever induced haze of an untrained Force user.”_ Anakin Skywalker spoke to him in wonder while looking down at the body of the beautiful woman in his grandson’s trembling arms, _“So lost to the darkness, listening to the empty promises from your Master, so focused on being as great as a man you never knew that you couldn’t open yourself to the voice of the man Vader used to be.”_

_“You come to me now,” _Kylo raged at his grandfather, hot tears running down his cheeks, at his grandfather while he held the shell of Rey closer to his chest, _“You took her away from me! You will not take her away from me!”_

The force ghost sighed in frustration, “_Now those words are too familiar along with the anger that burns behind them. I could tell you what good it did me, but I'm sure you have a different understanding of my fall to the Darkside.”_

_“You brought order to the galaxy!” _Kylo bellowed at him with gritted teeth and cheeks hollowing with each strict intake of breath.

_“Yes,” _he scoffed,_ “I brought order to the galaxy but at what cost? I killed my wife. My children were raised without their mother while I was too far gone to be of any use to them.” _Anakin softly spoke as he came to kneel in front of Kylo, the body of the woman still laying protectively in his arms,_ “It wasn't worth it in the end. There are many things I would change.”_

_“I fought for your legacy!” _Kylo screamed back at him, pulling her body away from the glowing Force ghost kneeling before them.

_“Do not speak to me of my legacy, boy! I know it well.” _Anakin growled at his broken grandson before him, and placed his two forefingers upon Kylo's temple, “A_nd now you will too.”_

Kylo felt nauseous as his consciousness was violently thrown from Rey’s vision and slammed back into his body. The force of the action caused him to stumble away from her unconscious form which still rested upon the med bay cot. The emotions that he had experienced, the happiness, and the grief he saw were too much for his overwhelmed mind to process. He slowly stood over her once more and checked the monitors, not trusting his own senses that were telling him that she was stable. Reaching out, he felt her forehead and checked for the fever that had been slowly killing her. Her body was cooling and lungs were clearing prompting Kylo to breathe a sigh of relief moments before a familiar Force signature entered the room behind him, causing his heart to clench painfully in his chest.

_She died...I felt it..._Kylo thought to himself, unsure how the short woman was standing before him. While he knew that she couldn’t see him over the Force bond that he shared with Rey, it still chilled him to the core when she turned to look in his direction before he felt the Force close their connection and his body rush back to his corporeal form in his quarters. He returned to the meditative pose his body had settled into his bed, long legs crisscrossed and both palms face up on each knee.

Kylo knew something was wrong the moment that his eyes opened.

_“Ah, my apprentice. You awake at last…”_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We left off with Kylo finally seeing Rey's visions that she saw in the hut that night. Kylo meeting his grandfather for the first time and learning his mother lived through the attack he led months ago. Pleased with the Force healing he helped Rey through he returned to his corporal form. Only to find...he wasn't alone
> 
> Author Note: I hope that everyone is enjoying the story. I’d love to hear your thoughts! I appreciate the comment(s) and kudos that I receive! Thank you!
> 
> No warning this chapter – good to go!

**Chapter 5:**

Kylo sensed that he was not alone the moment that he returned to his corporeal form in his quarters aboard the Finalizer. Instinctively he reached out one hand and used the Force to pull his cross-guard saber into his palm, ready to strike down any threat. Opening his eyes, Kylo tried to rationalize that this was all a horrible nightmare cooked up by Rey in order to hurt him the way he now knew he hurt her.

The air in the room was freezing and the chill sent shivers up his spine. After the years with his _Master_, Kylo would never forget the feeling of hopelessness and dread when in the presence of the previous_ Supreme Leader_. 

As a mortal man _Snoke _was terrifying, the creature tortured his apprentice, rendered his mind useless, and twisted the boy named _Ben Solo_ before leaving only _Kylo Ren_. Snoke's _Jedi Killer_ sacrificed innocents for the good of the galaxy while blindly following the one who set him on this path.

_“Yes, call your weapon. A child must have his toys.”_

Kylo refused to let the presence of Snoke in front of him outwardly affect him, but inside, his old Master knew his heart. It killed him to see that knowing fucking grin present itself on Snoke’s scarred face. He wanted to hack the bastard in half once more.

_“Ah, those eyes, I remember those eyes...filled with hate...drowning in sorrow...lost...afraid”_

_“You are weak, Ben Solo."_

Kylo watched a wraith-like skeletal hand raise from his old _Master's_ side, a bony finger beckoning him forward. The Force inflicted reaction felt like his soul was being wrenched from his body before Kylo went flying from his bed towards that terrifying hand. He tried to fight the hold on him, teeth grinding while feeling his skin burn and freeze at the same time.

_“I have taught you many lessons, but this final piece of knowledge will be on worth.”_

Kylo struggled to free himself from the moment that Snoke’s shadowy finger slowly moved toward his forehead, but not touching. His body started to sweat, the quilted uniform he still wore now adhering to his sticky body. The evil glint in his _Master’s_ soulless eyes deepened the more that he struggled against the Darkside of the Force that was rendering him helpless.

_“And you my boy, have none.”_

Kylo’s eyes widened while he was forced to watch Snoke’s pointer finger touched his sweaty forehead. Then there was only pain, a stark contrast to the warmth that he felt the moment he entered Rey’s fever induced mind. No, this was something different. Kylo felt cold, like all the warmth that he would ever feel was stolen from him. It was hopelessness wrapped in rage and bathed in suffering. 

_“It was never you I wanted, you fatuous child. You were and have always been merely a tool. Surely you know the tales, my wayward apprentice. Ah yes, Vader, the answer the Force created to bring the balance that the Jedi destroyed.”_

Kylo was brought to his knees before a wall of thin ice, his _Master _now stood beside him in his flowing robes of gold.

_“Come now Kylo Ren, don’t you know the history of your grandfather? Anakin Skywalker was a child of the Force, born to bring balance.”_

He didn't want to hear any of his lineage from Snoke's monstrous lips. The evil attacking him was familiar, one he has known all his life. The voice speaking to him was once a friend in the darkness but was now laced with hatred. The Skywalker legacy was built on the blood of the Jedi, a noble cause that he continued in his grandfather's name. Kylo was immediately ashamed that he never thought to dig harder, to learn the knowledge that was now being used to break him.

_“His weak hearted grandson was brought to the Darkness, and to my side. Your dear Uncle saw a future in your mind that you never dreamed, all lies to give a child purpose. Your usefulness seemed to be ending until...Her.”_

Kylo knew exactly who Snoke dangled in front of him. The old man knew the confusion and compassion he held for the now awakened Force sensitive scavenger girl from Jakku. The part Rey played in his tale was now much bigger than he had come to accept. It was in these thoughts that he lost himself, Snoke's voice muffled while he continued to be berated.

Kylo wanted to reach for her, to see how she was healing, but it was a yearning that he would push aside for now. Snoke had already defiled his life and he refused to let him taint the bond with his desert girl that is now blooming before his eyes.

_“...brought forth to balance the Darkside of the Force. Once I felt her power, I only wanted her, and she foolishly delivered herself to me on the pretext of saving the poor conflicted soul of Ben Solo...who found a new home in Rey…a new home for his cock to finally replace his hand_

Kylo’s attention was stolen from his thoughts. His dull reflection shifted to show a petite woman with hazel eyes standing before him, heavy with child…

The Force signature that he felt from the baby in utero was familiar...it was warm and playful while possessing the same strength that he would know anywhere…_Rey_

The birth proved to be too much for the young woman, barely on the cusp of womanhood, the light in her eyes fading minutes after they laid the wriggling child on her chest. A mother's final gift, trading her life for the life of her child. A sacrifice that Rey would never know. Ben found the lack of a male counterpart in the woman's life curious, knowing that this kind but frail woman bathed in light was no whore.

_“No father, a baby tossed away, seemingly useless...to those not keen enough to see the potential...to feel the power.”_

Snoke watched the scene, licking his lower lip and chuckled maniacally, stretched his hand to Kylo's beating heart and squeezed. Kylo heard a scream of agony, not realizing that it came from within him while trying to break the Force hold on his body. 

_“Ah...it looks like our time is up…”_

Those were the last words his old _Master _said as Kylo lay on his side, blood seeping down his upper lip from his nose. Thick bands of red light flooded his quarters. He could feel the tension from his First Knight, Hollon, and the dulled Force signature of Hux as they came to his aid. It all ended with an inhuman cackle that vibrated off the durasteel walls of his chambers before Snoke simply vanished, like a wraith coming to deliver retribution.

Kylo's heavy lids opened to crystal blue eyes, red hair, and a look of tense reservation on the face of Armitage Hux. There was something in the air around them and Kylo immediately knew that the General before him knew.

“It would seem, _Supreme Leader, _that we need to have a discussion.” Kylo and Hux never saw eye to eye, yet as the stern copper-headed man kneeled before him with an assessing look on his tired face that full of apprehension and..._approval?_

_This is turning out to be a shit day_, Kylo thought as a black fog clouded his vision before he allowed the darkness to pull him under.

**~~ Page Break ~~**

Kylo slowly opened his eyes and immediately realized that his sore body was lying under his plush quilt. His boots were off, and his feet hung over the side of the bed. 

There was an Astromech droid buzzing about the room, a model much like the BB unit that changed his life and less like the golden monstrosity that he grew up with.

The unit was blue and silver, and apparently had a mind of its own. A thin extension popped from the rolling body and pushed a data pad closer to him. A series of rude beeps told Kylo that the droid was impatiently waiting for him to get out of bed.

“How did I get here?” Kylo questioned the droid, his eyes widened at the electric grunts and shrills he received. Apparently, the droid had better things to do than to keep a log on his status, “Well, fuck you too.”

The refresher was calling to his stiff body, it appeared that Snoke was an ass even in death. The warm spray of water gave him time to dwell on over what he learned from his _Master's_ final and cruel lesson.

Rey was a child of the Force created to balance the evils that he was ordered to perform in the name of the Darkside of the Force. Kylo remembered the face of Rey's mother. The woman looked kind and gentle, untouched by the cruelty of the world around her. It made him wonder if she was someone of great importance, maybe royalty even. The love that showed on the woman’s face was burned into his mind. 

Kylo would discover the identity of the woman who paid the ultimate price to bring her child into the world. He would learn everything he could about her and make sure Rey knew what became of this woman who shared her face and loved her unborn child.

The testy droid was still waiting for him to finish in the fresher and dress, rolling the length of his quarters while gurgling loudly. 

“You are entirely too willful for a rolling tin ca..._AH_!!” The droid shocked the tender skin behind his knee while letting loose a string of curses in binary. Kylo jumped with a yelp, quickly recovering while watching the droid roll away, come to a stop, and wait by the door for the irate Force user.

The droid led him through metallic halls, passing numerous war rooms until it came to a stop in front of a door. The droid rolled its head to look up at Kylo, told him what he thought of the new Supreme Leader and rolled away with a grunt.

The door opened to a dark room, revealing the perfect posture of General Hux as he stood looking out the large viewport window. Kylo stepped forward and confidently entered the war room.

It was a stupid mistake; he realized the moment that his soul felt... empty...the Force quieted for the first time in his long life. The doors closed and Hux slowly turned to face him. 

“Do be seated,” Hux said with a flourish of his hand to the seat closest to where the pissed form of Kylo Ren stood. The lost look on the face of Kylo Ren finally showed the five-year age difference between the two leaders. The younger man sat in front of him in a daze. “The effects are temporary and will last in this room. The technology will be destroyed by your hand, I am sure, once we are finished.”

Kylo wasn't angry at the red-headed man. If anything, the trap showed that Hux not only had age on him but the experience of a man who has served the First Order since he came of age. It was a move he didn't expect from the General of the First Order. A data pad was slid across the table towards his awaiting hands while Hux rested in his chair, legs crossed and waiting.

The data pad showed the grainy frame of a paused holovid. He tapped the screen with his right ring finger and the images that played before him were those that caused him pleasure and pain almost daily. The torture of Rey at Snoke’s hand, her weakened form on her knees before him, the look of hope in her eyes that made him want to reassure her until she looked up in acceptance of her fate before the infamous _Jedi Killer. _

It wasn't until the holovid showed the true death of his _Master _that Kylo noticed how quiet his companion was, gone was the tension in his body, replaced with an unnerving presence of peace.

Hux watched Kylo carefully, weighing his options. He could release the holovid and have the younger man executed for treason. However, it was interesting to see and experience Kylo Ren sans Supreme Leader Snoke. The actions the First Order were now taking were different and dissension in the ranks was beginning to start.

Hux had to decide, kill Kylo Ren or follow him into hell. Can he follow this extremely powerful Force user with monstrous rage problems? A brief look at his _Leader_ would find intense eyes that were glazed and looking over his shoulder.

It would seem someone was requesting a long-distance chat.

**~~ Page Break ~~**

As she sat in the Resistance war room and listened to the newest _mission_, Rey couldn't believe what she was hearing. The stolen Intel was being presented to them. The statistics were being looked over. 

While Rey had been peacefully healing in the med bay, the Resistance was gathering its forces. She was released, only to find a few nameless generals of the Resistance planning in a war room. There was no Leia nor Poe, the Falcon was not in the docking bay and Finn was with Chewie, Rose was traveling with them.

The target was the largest First Order Stormtrooper Conditioning Compound. The base’s destruction would wipe out over 65% of the First Orders ground force, leaving them vulnerable. It would be a much-needed victory for the Resistance and turn the tides of the war.

The compound was the largest of the stormtrooper receiving facilities and housed the children that were taken from their homes, stolen from their families or purchased like cattle. There were children on that base, the average age being only eight standard years. What they were proposing wasn't an act in the name of peace. This was going to send a message to the galaxy, a message that Rey refused to be a part of.

“You can't do this!” Rey’s tone was biting as she finally decided enough was enough and jumped to her feet. “What are you thinking!” she exclaimed. “There are children on that base, thousands of children that were taken from their homes!”

“An acceptable loss in the name of peace.” The General left in charge argued with her.

“Peace? You think that this,” Rey yelled, striding to the Intel board and pointing to the pictures of children being received while nursemaids held babies in their arms, “is peace? This is an act of terror! There is no peace in this! You are no better than those that you conspire against.”

It was at that point that Rey was _escorted _out of the war room. She was led to her quarters, the door locking behind her. A quick check would find that all her communication devices were confiscated. 

The solution to this problem was simple, yet she didn't want to do it. The Force churned around her angry body while she paced the length of her quarters. The bond was pleasantly quiet since the last time they linked, and Rey has never purposefully reached out to him.

It had to be done.

Rey stood in the middle of her room, her body tight with apprehension and reached for the string-like sensation of the bond. It didn't take long for him to answer her call. This would be short and simple, all she wanted to do warn him. It was for the children, and she wasn't going to be excited to see him at all.

Kylo was seated at a long metal table, he could have been alone or in a room with hundreds of people and she wouldn't have known. The fact didn’t make the scene appear any less foreboding.

_Force. Why did he have to be so damn gorgeous? It should be a crime to look that good. _Rey thought to herself with a sigh while she stared at him like an idiot.

“The Resistance is launching an attack on Scarif, you need to get the children off the planet,” Rey said in one breath, not looking at him but focusing on a spot just over his head. She was cutting the bond once again when she looked up to see Kylo watching her with wide eyes. “Please.”

The bond was closed, and she was once again alone in her quarters before Kylo could even open his mouth. The sight of her bed called to her as the feeling of exhaustion flooded her body. 

All that she could do now was wait.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter: Our heroine was in desperate need of assistance from her bond-mate who was currently in a pickle with his second in command. Will Kylo take Rey’s warning to heart? What will happen between Hux and our Supreme Leader?
> 
> Authors Note: Leave me some love, please. I’d love to hear from you!  
Warning: None again! Man, I am losing my touch!

**Chapter 6:**

Kylo’s eyes cleared the moment that Rey closed the bond. It was surprising that Hux remained seated in front of him, patiently waiting for his return to their current reality. “There was a disturbance in the Force.” Kylo attempted to excuse his behavior.

“Indeed, the disturbance wouldn't be related to a Force sensitive scavenger girl from Jakku, would it?” Hux drawled with humor in his voice yet nothing given away on his face.

“The Resistance is launching an attack on Scarif, I want the children off the planet within the hour,” Kylo ordered, yet still sat before his General returning his gaze to the data pad in front of him. “Why are you bringing your findings to me now?”

Hux pulled the small comm unit from his pocket and quickly relayed the order, placing the comm on the table between them. “You weren't the only one exploited, tortured, and trained to do things that you wouldn't do normally do. Your defenses were simply stronger than mine.”

“You could have killed me on the Supremacy when I was unconscious,” Kylo remarked.

“I was going to kill you, but you woke before I could.” Hux admitted, “Yet, I'm pleased that I didn't. It has been enlightening to watch you grow. The First Order, led by you, will become what it was meant to be. I see that now.”

The two men watched each other, yet said nothing, and for the first time in their sorted history, they understood each other.

~~ Page Break ~~

Rey didn't have to wait in her quarters long for shit to hit the fan. It was early in the morning when Poe unlocked the door to her room, rage on his normally smiling face. 

“You could have freed yourself from this room at any time using the Force, why did you stay?” Poe said with confusion and respect in his voice.

Rey shrugged her shoulders and followed the tightly wound man, not daring to speak or stray. Fear began to creep up her spine when he led her to the holding cells in the brig. She could hear Leia yelling through the door, the lights flickered the louder she got.

The _discussion_ was over quickly and the door slid open, Rey had seconds before the strong arms of Leia crushed her in a big hug. Poe filled her in on what happened, the compound was destroyed, their intel advised, yet it was the numbers regarding the outcome of the attack that spoke to her. There was no one under the age of 18 when the attack came.

He listened to her.

That night, she was sitting on a large stone boulder on a hill that overlooked the largest of the neighboring villages when she felt the subtle thumping of the Force bond between herself and the Supreme Leader of the First Order being activated once again. Kylo Ren had surprisingly left her alone since she betrayed the Resistance and warned him of the attack. She watched the modest village below her seated form, smiling at the wispy trails of grey smoke as they began to rise from the stone chimneys that were attached to each of the modest homes.

_“I have never seen this place. Where are you?” _His deep voice immediately drawing her attention to his presence standing behind her seated form.

Rey rolled her eyes and scoffed at him, refusing to look at him as he walked slowly towards her unprotected back.

_“You look well.” _his deep voice sounded gentle, taking a moment to note that the bond felt warm. The feelings of relief that she knew were from him flooded her body, further confusing her conflicting thoughts of the Darkside user. Kylo was letting her feel what he felt and it was strange to see him so open with her knowing their history.

“I feel well,” She finally offered before she took in a shaky breath, “I'm not sure why you did it but thank you for saving my life and for listening to my warning.”

_“You know why I did it.” _he simply answered her, now hovering behind her body. She could feel the movement of his chest as he breathed behind her shoulders. 

“Actually I have found that I don't know anything about you, not really. When I am finally firm in my understanding of your character, you change it again. Your frequent mood swings are enough to give me emotional whiplash.” Rey answered him with a tired sigh, choosing to continue watching the comfortable village below them. 

“However I will prove to you that while I may come from nothing and I may not have a place in all of this, it that doesn't mean that I am nothing.” She felt the tears coming to her eyes as they burned before she cut her passionate gaze to his perfectly still form.

_“That was not what I meant and you know it, Rey.”_

“It is what you meant,” She cut him off hotly, “You meant every word you said to me that day, Kylo, whether it was meant to hurt me or to drive me to your side. You meant every word.”

_“Rey...I’m...”_

Rey cut him off, “I can't be with the Resistance any longer. It feels wrong to follow them, but I...” her voice faded into a tired sigh. When she finally turned to face him, Rey found him watching her with fire in his eyes, “I can't follow you either.”

_“You're still holding on, Rey. I've seen your visions of us, our visions are the same. I've been in your head. I know what you…”_

“It doesn't mean...” Rey started before two firm leather covered hands latched onto her upper arms and shook her.

_“Stop interrupting me!”_

“I appreciate you for saving my life but you had no right to root through my head. What you saw wasn't for you to see.” Rey mumbled, unable to look into his eyes. It broke her heart to admit that she lost herself whenever she looked in his deep soulful eyes. It made her heart clench and her body feel things for the man before her, dangerous things. 

_“I have the only right!!”_

“No, you don't Kylo, not any longer.” Rey bit out with so much ice in her voice that it shocked them both. The tension between the two of them was thick enough to cut with a knife, a dull one at that. His oppressing body loomed over her, fists clenched in frustration. It made her stomach knot and her core clench painfully. Once again, she felt insignificant in his presence. A dark voice in her mind spoke smooth promises to her, the last time she heard this voice was in the caves on Ahch-To.

** _Belonging. Desire. Passion. Heat._ **

Rey was ashamed to say her entire body was trembling by the time she felt his gloved fingertips splayed on her arms, catching her crossed elbows in order to attempt to pull her confused body slowly into his. It was like he was afraid he would spook her. She was panting and her face was burning by the time her back was pulled flush with his broad chest.

The last thing she felt was heat on her neck, moving her hair, the bond slamming shut just before a pair of soft lips could touch her heated skin. Rey's breathing hitched and her right hand moved to her forehead while she worked to remain upright once he was gone.

Why did she have a feeling that the Force was laughing at her?

\--- Page Break ---

Leia Organa enjoyed watching the resilient scavenger girl while she went about her day to day life. Rey reminded Leia of a much younger version of herself. The battle-worn General in Leia was impressed to see how Rey took the initiative in establishing relations with the Felucian people in the neighboring village. From helping bridge the gap between generations young and old to playing in the crystal clear lakes with the rambunctious native children, Rey quickly become loved and respected by the normally aloof natives. Rey had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and a deep seeded drive to prove herself. What Leia saw in the girl was easily formed into words while she watched Rey move through different activities and responsibilities.

_Kindness, Humility, Intelligence, Honesty…_All traits of an effective leader

Leia was surprised when a strong hand attached to a concerned walking carpet pulled her aside a few days ago in the hangar. Chewbacca flicked his head towards to the Falcon, Rey fixing it yet again.

Leia’s heart ached for Han when she heard her old friend speak to her,_ “The little one leaves soon, unhappy with what she is forced to do. Lothal will be where she will go, tell her this. I will find her a home, there are many abandoned bases.”_

The words cut deep but spoke what Leia already knew in her heart. Rey was planning to leave this self-righteous monster that her Resistance was becoming. The small group of people, Finn, Rose, Poe, Chewbacca and herself included, were getting too close to Rey and the girl was afraid. Her son was getting too close to the girl. Leia saw the same drive and focus that she had once seen in her son. If only Ben would have directed his efforts in a less destructive direction but the past was the past and Leia wanted Rey to spread her wings and fly.

The intrigued and protective General would watch Rey spend hours scouring over outdated navigational charts, searching the stars for a sign that would point her in the right direction. Rey began sneaking into the many Resistance databases in order to research planets. Her datapad was full of books on the various flora and fauna. There were schematics downloaded for building and maintaining greenhouse structures. She studied day and night on how to build, install, and repair solar panels. Everything cataloged in her datapad, from cookbooks and textile creation to soaps and lotions made with soy, were dogeared for a particular purpose.

It was apparent that the ever-present warring parts of Rey were at odds with each other and that being pulled in opposite directions, one way betrayed the Resistance while the other betrayed her own heart. The war against the First Order wasn't a fight that this broken girl deserved to be in. Leia didn't know what path Rey would follow but she hoped that the young girl would accept some guidance.

“Lothal,” the soft and wise voice belonging to Leia Organa jolted Rey out of her thoughts. The General sat down next to her and held her hand tightly. “The planet is habitable. There are four true seasons. Remnants left from the Imperial War. Lots of rain.”

Leia smiled at the look of wonder on Rey’s face, what was it about rain and the kind-hearted soul in front of her? Leia knew early on that Rey was not made for this fight. Rey wanted to see the green of the galaxy, to help it flourish, now on her own path to true balance, “I will miss you, Rey of Jakku.”

“I'm sorry, this fight...this war...” Rey started, tears welling up in her hazel eyes. “I tried to bring him back...he wouldn't come...I wasn't enough...I never seem to be enough.”

“You are more than enough my child, I promise you that one day he will see it. The Solo men always take their time noticing anything.” Leia replied, meeting Rey’s gaze. She was always mystified by the depth of this lonely girl’s kind eyes. Her son was an idiot to turn this precious gift away, but he would learn and she knew it would be a lesson that he would never forget.

Lothal…

A quick search on her datapad later that evening left Rey in awe. The history of the planet, with a culture that was fighting to be remembered. The seasons, full of sunny days, mid-spring, and fall showers and snow in the winter. Rey could see the scars that war left on the planet but it was durable and resilient, just like her. The planet was perfect, and she drifted to sleep that night with thoughts of finding the perfect home upon this new and exciting world.

The Koensayr Power Converter on the Falcon was, yet again, broken. After a few choice words with the tall Wookie the next day, Rey was stomping down the metal grates of the halls to fix the piece of junk, again. The two of them worked together, every pop and fizzle causing the electronics to flicker. Rey stuck a thin hand up to receive the tool she asked for and received a datapad instead.

Chewbacca stood over the hatch she was in, his long furry arms crossed, waiting. Rey slowly climbed out and looked from the datapad to the Wookie standing over her. On the datapad was a perfect picture of an abandoned Imperial Outpost with a greenhouse attached and waiting to be revitalized, a home, her home. Rey thumbed through the rest of the photos, excitement building the deeper she went. There was a lake close by, feeding water to the base easily, she wondered if it felt as nice as it looked. The Outpost was nestled away from the pollution of the major ports and hidden to the world around it. Its location was close to other abandoned bases, both Imperial and Republic, the scavenger in Rey planning her move.

It felt odd to feel the thrill of excitement over the prospect of being able to scavenge again while knowing she had food and a home to return too. It took a full week to get her list together with Leia's help, and even Chewbacca went on a mid-week mission to collect everything else she would need to begin her life.

Rey’s vision of her life was finally looking clear, her path set and she was happy...so naturally, her plans went to shit. Rey was in the village, helping a group of artisans with their trades when it happened.

_Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy…_Rey mused the moment she heard the telltale sounds of ships breaking the planet’s atmosphere.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Our heroine has decided that enough is enough, what will she do? An interesting bond with the Supreme Leader made her feel things that she hasn’t felt before…
> 
> Authors Note: Here we go with Chapter 7. Things are going to start getting tough for our bond-mates. Loads of love to my heart, DangerTaylor, edited the mother out of the chapter and there were a couple of disagreements. I think she will be happy with the finished chapter.
> 
> Warning: It’s a fight, people. We are going to have some violence.

**Chapter 7**

A state of terror followed by panic flooded the Force when a squadron of First Order TIE Fighters screeched through the atmosphere, a hauntingly familiar obsidian Command Shuttle in the middle of the formation. Rey cursed herself for blocking the bond, maybe she would have had a warning of his intentions. She quickly switched into leader mode as she began ushering the villagers to safety in the caves near the village. 

Rey was running back to the base when she noticed that the Resistance started to fire upon the approaching squadron, the First Order ships took up defensive positions and only returned ion cannon fire in retaliation. The First Order was hunting for something or someone as they circled the base and the surrounding area a few times._ He_ was hunting.

The only shots that she now heard were coming from the ground, within the base, as it appeared Resistance fighters were turning on each other. _Spies_, Rey thought and rushed into hails of blaster fire to lend aid to her friends.

Rey felt him before she saw him, her body coming to a halt in the midst of the battle. Her head slowly turned towards the now landing Command Shuttle that was coming to perch across the tarmac. The intimidating form of Kylo Ren strode from the depths of his ship, descending the metal ramp like a dark Knight coming to deliver swift retribution. Her heart pounded when she saw his billowing black robes, the cowl pooled around his shoulders, and the terrifying helmet sat upon his head, covering the face that she longed to see. 

It was fear that drove her to back step the moment he turned that helmet to where the remaining Resistance members were fighting. She couldn't see his eyes but knew without a doubt that he was searching for her. His fists were clenched and his strides long as he quickly moved to reach the battle that was taking place around her.

_I am coming for you..._

The voice that spoke in her head was bathed in the darkness, soothing and deep, promising her something. Rey gasped, his voice sending shivers down her spine and straight to her core, taking her breath away. Rey shook her head as she was once again thrown into a fight that she didn't want to be a part of. The closer Kylo moved to where she was standing, the stronger the pulse he was sending over the bond quickly took over her body. Her eyes were wide and she was panting. What was happening to her? A voice dripping with some foreign emotion purred in her mind.

_Rey...Don’t be afraid...I’ll show you_

The heat in her body was taking over her mind, forcing her to stand still and wait for him. Kylo was closing in on her trembling body and confused mind when she felt a surge of new emotions through the Force. It was filled with intense pride, followed by an intent to kill that was so strong that it made her stagger in place as the air was pulled from her lungs. Rey saw the blue trail of a blaster bolt fired from a First Order spy dressed as a Resistance fighter, the bolt heading in the direction of General Organa's unprotected back. 

Rey jolted into action, moving like the wind, to shield the unsuspecting woman. Although her muscles strained with her swift movements, it was the tightened pull of the Force from Kylo's outstretched hand that Rey had to battle with the most. Leia grunted when Rey jerked the older woman into her strong arms. The heat of the close range blaster bolt hit her back, quickly taking her breath away as she fell to the ground, the stunned older woman struggling to catch Rey’s crumbling form. 

Rey was choking on something metallic tasting, her right lung collapsing in on itself as Leia held her close. “Go,” Rey begged, her voice weak, hardly able to suck in enough air to remain conscious. The bond was trembling, her lung filling up with blood, she felt like she was drowning on dry land.

“Shut up you brave foolish child! Finn...over here!” Leia growled out an order, trying to drag Rey away from the battle while still returning fire. A glance over her shoulder showed Kylo Ren quickly closing in on them, the First Order spy that took the shot was being held in place by an invisible Force, the man's hands clawing at his neck.

Kylo Ren paused in his steps and held up his other hand, the fighting abruptly halted which gave the survivors the moment they needed to escape the impromptu battlefield. Finn rushed towards the closing loading bay doors, the now unconscious and limp form of Rey in his arms. Mother and son stared each other down just before the doors closed and the _Falcon_ fled, leaving Kylo with the First Order spy that disobeyed direct orders and started the skirmish against the Resistance.

The spy that took the shot at Rey, the shot that was meant to kill his mother, was brought to his knees before the Supreme Leader, still clawing at his neck until a sickening crack was heard and his body fell to the ground. Kylo clenched his fists as he sharply turned and strode back to his awaiting Command Shuttle.

Hours later, Kylo Ren was back on the _Finalizer_ and anxiously pacing the length of his quarters while he impatiently waited for the Force to give him any sign that Rey would survive her injury. He stopped dwelling over the reasons for the silence, easily remembering the fear he felt the moment the blue bolt left the spy’s blaster. It figured that _his _insufferable woman would do something stupid the moment the glowing blue bolt of energy left the blaster, soaring for its intended target. He tried to stop the close ranged bolt with the Force before attempting to halt Rey from running with the same power, but it was to no avail. 

Kylo remembered feeling his soul freeze the moment that the blue bolt met its unintended target. Rey's body immediately falling into his mother's shocked arms. His breath caught in his throat and he wanted to rip his helmet off, to run to her side. The last time he felt fear like this was on a night many years ago when he woke from a deep sleep only to find the green blade of a lightsaber raised above his head. 

The spy who took the shot had struggled under the Force grip he was being held with but Kylo paid him no mind. His eyes were solely on Rey's unmoving body as it was quickly dragged away by his mother. Kylo wanted to rage as he was forced to watch the traitor lift Rey off the ground and hurry onto their ship. The _Falcon_ took off and he watched it disappear into the low lying clouds, his hand outstretched and the spy soared to float in front of him. He used the Force to snap the delicate bones in the man's neck, the newly deceased body twitching in his hold, unseeing eyes remained open in fear.

When the bond finally opened, it was like a breath of fresh air, immediately giving way to a sight that he never wanted to see of her, even as enemies. The stark white room that appeared in his quarters was bustling with movement and he saw what he assumed to be medical staff feverishly trying to stop Rey’s bleeding as her lifeforce dripped off the metallic table she was lying on to the grated floor. 

Kylo was forced to pace, unable to do anything but watch the team of Resistance members fighting to save the life of their fallen comrade. He crossed his arms over his chest and kept glancing at the table from time to time until he heard it, a shrill alarm from one of the many machines hooked to her pale body, it was the sound of a flat line. Kylo felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach as the bond linking their souls began to weaken.

“Scavenger! Don't you dare!” He growled out, rushing to stand at the head of the table, looking down at her pale face. The tube shoved down her throat was forcing oxygen directly to her lungs, showed him how grave the situation was as she was unable to breathe without assistance.

“Rey, please!” Kylo helplessly watched as the Asian girl known as Rose rushed to the table with a defibrillator. She pulled out the pads and stuck them on Rey’s still chest, letting the machine assess the need to shock before screaming _Clear!_ moments before electrical currents caused Rey's body to jolt off the table. Rose was crying harder with every attempt to save her friend.

The currents struck once with no response...a thin arm fell over the side of the metal slab “You can’t do this!” Twice...he moved to her side...glancing at the monitors...refusing to see the flat line “I won’t let you!” Kylo growled in her face when it lulled limply, pulling at the tube that was supplying her oxygen.

“Damn it Rey!” Rose yelled before shocking Rey once more...seconds passed...a beep...timid and shy but still a beep.

That sluggish beep was the most beautiful sound that he had ever heard.

Kylo was exhausted as he stumbled away from the table, slumped against the wall and slid down its length to heavily sit on the floor of his quarters. He closed his eyes to the sound of the precious beeps and basked in the weak pulsing of the bond, scared to death for his bond-mate. He watched with unseeing eyes as the relieved medical staff began to softly clean her body before carefully rolling her body to the right in order to stitch closed the entry wound on her back.

The distressed gasp that came from his mother grabbed his attention immediately. The agony behind the sound caused him to slowly stand up and approach the bloody table once again. His mother's thin fingers traced the lines of hideous scars that littered the span of her freckled golden-skinned back. There were hundreds of them ranging from clean white scars that healed properly to jagged pink scars that didn’t receive proper medical treatment. Kylo’s eyes took in all of the scars with fists clenched in rage as he recalled memories from her life on Jakku. Kylo vowed then and there that he would destroy whoever did this to her. 

The blaster bolt wound was thoroughly cleaned and stitched closed with perfect precision. Rey’s nude body lay before his eyes as Leia and Rose towel dried her clean skin. She was slowly covered in a black linen shift.

Long lean legs..._wrapped around his hips...accepting his length._

Perfect hips leading to a muscular butt..._his fingers digging into heated skin._

Full breasts topped with rosy pert peaks..._teeth catching pebbled nipples._

Muscular back..._arching sharply when he hit that spot in her body that drove her wild._

Strong arms..._holding on to his shoulders...nails scratching his back...pleasure mixing with pain._

Kylo groaned when a small pair of nude cotton panties were slid up her lean legs . The bond dropped immediately, leaving the Dark Force user alone in his quarters, with his body hard and ready. 

It took everything in his body to slowly move to his refresher, taking a frigid shower in an attempt to calm his body. He refused to have this be yet another horrendous act that he did to his scavenger.

Kylo was drying his hair with a black cotton towel the moment the bond opened once more, the towel falling to the floor. The medical team was carefully placing her body in the awaiting Bacta tank. The respirator was firmly attached to her face. He stood on shaky legs and moved to stand in front of the tank, his fingertips gently touching the glass. Pain filled hazel eyes barely opened before closing once more. Rey's body floated, her long legs were stretched down while her thin yet muscular arms freely flowed with the current, the black linen shift rustled around her body. It looked like Rey was reaching for him while she floated in the clear healing liquid.

The Resistance has been yet again proven unfit to protect this precious gift that they were foolishly given. He would take it from them and protect her with all of his power in order to ensure that this never happened again while he lived. 

The bond softly dropped, his eyes taking in her defenseless body once more, he needed to plan.

~~~~ Page Break ~~~~

It was the monotonous churning sound of a recirculated filter that Rey heard when she briefly woke in the liquid filled tank she was floating in. The fuzzy body of Kylo Ren stood on the other side of the glass, fingers gently touching the transparent material separating them. The bond weakly opened and she could see herself through his eyes, the black shift she wore floated around her while she healed, her long chestnut colored hair a halo around her head. The liquid she was submerged in gently moved as the mechanics that woke her churned. Her long legs stretched down and her arms floating. She looked like a Goddess to him, how he yearned to worship her. 

Her exhausted eyes slowly closed to sleep once more.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Everything went down! Rey was deathly injured and Kylo was forced to watch while the Resistance worked to save her life. We pick up where we left off! What will happen when Leia asks Rey an important question?
> 
> Authors Note: I'm sorry for being a day late. I had trick or treating yesterday and two sick kiddos. So here we go with Chapter 8. Thank you for reading and commenting! All my subscribers and my bookmarkers let me know what you think! Your likes, and your dislikes. I’d love to hear from you.
> 
> Warning: Nothing to warn about this chapter!

**Chapter 8**

The next time that Rey came to it was due of pain...undiscriminating pain and fear. The sedatives that were used to keep her unconscious while she was in the Bacta tank were still surging through her veins, trying to force her body to rest. The paralyzing effects brought back memories of a time long ago when she was much younger... memories of being dazed...harsh hands...screaming.

Her mind raced but her body couldn't... wouldn't respond, and panic started to grow within her. The machines monitoring her vitals began to beep wildly, accurately capturing her spastic heart rate and rising blood pressure. Rey's vision was blurred from the days spent in Bacta and her unused eyes began to burn and fill with tears out of pure terror. She hated feeling out of control, defenseless and vulnerable.

A large gloved hand seemed to appear out of thin air, startling her when it tightly wrapped around her wrist. The presence that seemed to flood the recovery room immediately chased some of the pain away. Kylo's dark eyes held concern in them along with a look of relief that confused Rey. She was forced to watch him press the other gloved hand on her sweaty forehead, feeling it slightly tremble when his deep voice entered her mind softly.

_Sleep Rey…I will protect you._

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Three weeks later would find her on the new Resistance base, Rey gathered those closest to her, choosing to tell them her plans rather than keeping the truth from them. The day she chose was, unfortunately, following another crippling defeat against the First Order. They took the news about as well as she thought they would.

“So that's it? You're just going to give up? Runaway and hide while the galaxy burns around you!” Poe's face was red as he growled out while he angrily paced in front of Rey's hospital bed. “I can see that the previous _last Jedi_ taught you well, run away when you are most needed.”

“Dameron! You go too far!” The finality in Leia's voice sent chills up their spines, causing the hot-headed pilot to stop and turn to look at the woman who practically raised him after his parents died. 

“Luke didn't teach me anything! A Jedi is supposed to be the protector of the Light, to fight for the people, for balance and peace. There is nothing about this senseless war that is light! If this is what it is to be a Jedi”, Rey said with pain in her voice as her hand swept to the view from her windows in her hospital room on the new base. The rush to heal the injured, body bags lining the ground with mourners crying for their loved ones lost, while smoke rose from the remains of crashed ships. “Then I don't want to be one, please don't make me be a part of this.” 

The outburst from the normally happy woman effectively silenced the hot-headed pilot who now stood in front of Rey with a tortured look on his face. For the first time since meeting Rey, all that Poe saw was a scared young woman. A woman who was always used as a scavenger on Jakku and now used as a weapon for the Resistance in a war that she never felt a part of this.”

“Where will you go?” Finn asked, already knowing in his heart that she wouldn't tell them.

“I'm sorry but you can't know, and I don't know where the Resistance is either, it will be safer that way. For all of us.” Rey replied, looking at Rose as she stood close to Finn. The picture of the two of them standing side by side brought a melancholy smile to Rey's face. The two of them were so in love, a love she yearned to have with another. It was a pair of deep haunted eyes that immediately came to mind, her heart clenched painfully within her chest, a future she would never have.

It would be another week before Rey was well enough to be released from the med bay. The hours that were spent in that hospital bed were used to study and prepare. The day was quickly upon them when it came time for hordes of metal crates upon metal crates to be loaded onto the _Falcon_. Loads of cargo held everything she could ever need or want. Rey clutched her trusty datapad full of downloaded books and manuals in her hands, a gift from Leia. Rose was the last to timidly approach her just before she boarded the _Falcon_. The small Asian woman that saved Rey's life when she was shot, looked nervous as she passed Rey a small brown canvas bag. Rey opened the bag and gasped at the seeds it held. 

“My sister and I would plant them everywhere we went. They are the only things we kept from our home world and I'd be honored if you grew them in her memory.” Rose stated, hope in her eyes as she waited for Rey’s reply.

“The honor is all mine, thank you, Rose.” Rey only had minutes before the shorter Asian woman launched herself into Rey's shocked arms. It took a few moments before awkwardly returned Rose's hug. 

Finn stood in front of Rey, a scavenger who saved his ass on Jakku, the two of them not saying a word. Rey outstretched her hand to her first friend after a few moments, “I thought you didn't want me to hold your hand.” Finn joked a smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes, his strong hand grabbing hers.

“I never did thank you,” Rey told him in a voice full of emotion, continuing when she saw the confused look of Finn's face. “No one has ever come back more me...except you...thank you...Fi…” Finn jerked her in his arms before she could finish his name and held her close.

“I'll be there,” Finn said while holding her away a tad while looking in her eyes. “You need me. I'm there. No matter what.”

A low rumble from Chewbacca pulled the two slowly apart. “Take care of Rose.” Rey smiled at him and waved at Rose once more before turning to stride to the _Falcon. _“I'm ready.”

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Leia sat behind the desk in the captain's quarters on the _Falcon_, the memories in the piece of junk made her sigh. The sound of a quill scratching on thick parchment, a rare item yet easy to find if you are a Princess and the General of the Resistance. The reminders of a young boy who lived on this ship that loved Calligraphy, the boy's supplies in use once more.

“Are you sure about this…?” Poe began yet stopped at the look of disappointment that crossed Leia’s face.

“Sign the damn paper and shut your mouth, Poe,” Leia said, the two of them jolting when a soft knock could be heard on the door. “Come in.”

“You wanted to speak to me?” Rey questioned, looking between the two of them. 

Poe left the room; he placed a firm hand on Rey's shoulder when she passed him. Leia sat behind the desk in front of her, looking regal and beautiful. Rey watched as the older woman rise and slowly come to stand in front of her seated form. The pink crystal Leia always wore on a thin silver chain around her neck was in her hands. Rey watched in disbelief as Leia approached her and slid the necklace around her neck, the pink shard now pulsing. 

_Rey..._A child's voice could be heard the moment Leia's hands released the necklace.

Leia smirked when Rey looked up at her with wide eyes before looking down at the crystal that now pulsed while it lay around her neck. Leia took Rey's hands in her own while watching the emotions on the younger woman's face. The General sat in the chair beside Rey, moving it so they could face each other.

“I've never taken the time to thank you for what you did, for Ben on the _Supremacy. _Thank you for going to him, however, what you did was not only dangerous but also reckless.” Rey felt her cheeks heat up. “Han would have been proud.”

“It was nothing…” Rey stuttered, stopping when her hands were tightly squeezed.

“Stop Rey, it was _everything_, more than what Han and I dared to do.” Leia was lost in memories of wasted time for a moment before returning to the present “You were a special girl when we met years ago, and I have watched you grow into the woman before me.”

Rey could feel her eyes heat as she willed away hot tears while Leia reached to gently pick up the document from her desk. Rey was shocked to see the vulnerable look on Leia's face, now curious about the addition of the document in Leia's lap.

“I'm an old woman, Rey, with nothing to offer except regrets and a dream of peace and freedom that has turned into something that I hardly recognize. You are right to leave, and I won't blame you for your decision to pave your own path away from all of _this_.” 

Leia took a deep breath before continuing, “I may not be able to offer you much, but I can offer you,” she calmly placed the document on Rey's lap, “this.”

Rey let go of Leia's hands to pick up the paper, her eyes seeing the words but not understanding them, “This is…”

“You will always have a position to return to within the Resistance, Rey from Jakku, but what I'm offering you is a _home_ to return to, with me.”

The silence in the room was deafening until Leia heard the light sound of something hitting the opened document on Rey's lap, knowing it was a tear before she saw it. 

Rey allowed Leia to pull her into accepting arms, the word _yes_ repeatedly whimpered into her neck. The girl from Jakku, the dirty scavenger child that was sold for drinking money, and scratched days into the wall of an old AT-AT was beginning to fade into memory.

Tonight, would be the night that_ Rey Organa_ was born.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Rey is on her adventure! Leia gives Rey a home and a family. Mushy Fluff all around 😊
> 
> Authors Note: I’m sorry for being late! My kiddos infected me with the death virus. I am all better now. Here we go! Please let me know what you think! I love hearing from you.
> 
> Warning: We have some naughtiness! If you don’t like the naughty, don’t read this!

**Chapter 9**

Wanted.

In her relatively short life Rey has been used, beaten, betrayed...told time and time again that she was nothing...the list of abuse was never-ending. The hurt from feeling unwanted was stifling. To be told time and time again that she was nothing. When she was a child it was easy to ignore the words that cut through her now. In that time, all she wanted to do was to survive to see another day. As she grew older and wanted to love and be loved, she began to learn the life lessons and the pain of abandonment that made her into the woman she is today.

In her heart Rey always knew the truth that first Maz Kanata then Kylo Ren easily told her, whoever left her was never coming back. However, when she was young and scared, all she had to get her through the days was hope. Yet, this powerful woman, with a strength Rey could only strive for, wanted to keep her. Leia wanted to give her a home, a family, a surname.

Wanted was never a word Rey could associate within her young life as a scavenger on Jakku. There were men on Jakku that desired her body, lusted for her skills in mechanics or scavenging, and then there were those who would wish to weaponize her for her newly discovered abilities, but no one ever simply wanted her.

It took a strong will to not implode into a blubbering mess with Leia in her quarters. Back in her room, Rey moved to the refresher that was connected to her quarters, the hot water bearing down on her tired body. When faced with the prospect of being wanted and not used, it terrified her to the point that she thought to run away from the offer. You can never lose something you never had, she mused to herself. If she kept Leia away from her heart that she couldn’t be hurt when Rey eventually disappointed the only mother figure she had ever known.

Rey had a feeling that running from Leia was easier said than done, much like running from Kylo Ren. Yes, she could admit it to herself that she was running from Kylo Ren. The dark Force user with deep eyes that made her feel emotions that were foreign and frightening. Kylo Ren was not the first man to turn her eye, however, he was easily the first man to make her feel. Their meetings were intense and for the first time in her life, left her yearning. Every time they met, she discovered another piece of Kylo Ren that made him more than the monster that she made him out to be. His budding humanity pulled at her heart, which slowly began to betray her mind.

Thinking of him as a man...a man that was not shy in his desire for her, Rey wondered what his hands would feel like on her body, shivering at the thought of his eyes on her. Rey’s body immediately responded to her vivid imagination and she desired...but before she could admit the unthinkable to herself, she felt a pull at the thread of the bond.

Speak the devil and he shall come. Rey mused with a sigh as she felt Kylo trying to get through her mental walls once more. What did he want from her? He probably felt the jumbled mess that currently made up her emotions.

It made her heart hurt to see him. Her stomach would immediately clench and her eyes would begin to burn. It would be easier to give in to the strong-willed man and surrender to the fire that was Kylo Ren but she just couldn't do it. Rey could sadly admit that while she might not be worth much, she was worth at least being loved.

Rey was frustrated when she strode out of her bathroom and into her living quarters, naked as the day she was born. She stood in front of her dresser and pulled out her undergarments. The black cotton panties that hugged her curves perfectly. Rey searched through the drawers of the dresser for a shirt when Kylo forced his way to her. The ivory button-up shirt was being pulled up her bare back when Kylo walked up to Rey, his fists clenched in frustration.

“Force, you are persistent! You're like a pop-up vid from hell!” Rey sighed with annoyance and didn’t bother looking up at him. She could feel Kylo's heat behind her, as she fortified the walls as thick as durasteel around her heart and mind. 

“You never told me about the scars.” Kylo sadly remarked while his eyes took in the truth of her painful past once again, the truth she tries to hide.

“Why would I tell you about them? When would it have come up in conversation?” Kylo began to raise two gloved fingers to the scars he could still see on Rey's golden freckled skin. “Don’t you dare,” she warned, being able to feel his intent.

Kylo watched Rey step away from him, moving to her standard issue bed, brushing her hair while she walked. “The scars, they still hurt you.”

“Yes, the shaman women on Jakku said that a few of them were deep enough to cause nerve damage, Plutt wanted me to remember what I was.” Rey answered Kylo with a sad sigh followed by a dark chuckle, “It worked.”

“Where are you Rey? You are hidden from me,” he moved to reach for her again but thought better. “I can't find you, even while you were unconscious,” Kylo innocently questioned in a deep heat-filled voice.

“I’m not going to tell you where I am Kylo, I’m not stupid,” Rey answered exhaustedly, continuing to brush her shoulder-length hair. Rey's weary eyes followed Kylo's oppressing body as he walked to where she was sitting. It immediately dawned on her that she was sitting on the edge of her bed in her panties and a white shirt that barely came to her mid-thigh and her cheeks flushed. Kylo slowly lowered to his knees in front of her, his chest coming close to her shaking knees. If he leaned forward and pushed on her inner thighs she would be open for him. “What do you want from me Kylo? I refuse to fight you or have anything to do with this war any longer.”

**Possession. Desire. Passion.**

The warmth that flowed through the Force was calming and made her eyes slowly close, the feelings reminding her of the first time that she saw a planet that was green and full of life. Kylo watched her with eyes filled with curiosity, the first sight that greeted her when she slowly opened her eyes.

“You want me. I can see it in your eyes.” It was a statement that made her flinch due to the truth behind his words. Rey knew that she couldn’t lie to him, not with how close they were linked, so she chose to retreat into herself but he saw that coming as well. “Don’t run from me. Please.”

Rey felt a pulse of warmth flow from the Force as if the cosmos was urging her to be calm and she looked up to him in confusion. Kylo’s gaze was intense as he gently opened his Force signature through the bond in order to calm her further to his presence. Rey raised a thin hand to her forehead and closed her eyes, trying and failing to refocus her thoughts. The darkness inside Rey's soul reacted to Kylo's presence, and something instinctual in her body trusted the man kneeling in front of her. Rey was trembling, when she felt upwards pressure under her chin, tilting her head up to look at him. The feeling of soft lips on hers made her heart pound, a surprised gasp passed her lips before her eyes went wide once more. As Kylo pulled his face back from hers, a confident smirk greeted her, his expression showed satisfaction that he now had her attention once more.

“Where are you Rey? You aren’t safe. Let me come to you.” Kylo groaned out, a firm but gentle hand falling from her chin to her bare knee before the other hand moved to lay on its twin, and he slowly began to push her legs open so he could move closer. Kylo was running his gloved fingers up her thighs, looking into Rey's wide eyes that were filled with equal parts confusion and curiosity.

Kylo kept his gaze on her flushed face while he slowly crept his fingers up her strong thighs that lead to pronounced hip bones that were covered by a pair of black underwear. He slid his fingers under her waistband just above her rear and started to slide the offending scrap of cotton down. Kylo’s gaze met hers and without having to ask, Rey shifted her hips up, allowing him to continue. Taking in a deep breath, he began to drag the garment down her toned legs. Her mind jumped out of its haze for just a moment and Rey reached out a trembling hand, stopping him when the clothing reached her shaking knees.

“What are we doing?” Rey questioned in an airy voice, she felt weak when her eyes met his. His fingers, that were tangled in her panties halfway down her legs, gripped into the skin of her thighs, waiting for her permission to continue. “I don’t know what…”

Her voice fell away as he began to place feather light kisses to her inner knee, her inner thigh, and he could feel her body shiver under his lips as he slid her undergarment the rest of the way down her legs. Kylo slowly ducked under her ivory shirt and she awkwardly spread her legs for him. He groaned at the sight of pink lips that were already glistening. A flick of his tongue to her swollen clit immediately grabbed Rey's attention, her back straightened and his grip on her thighs tightened as he moaned at the taste of her.

Rey was so shocked the moment that his tongue flicked the spot that only knew the touch of her fingers, that her body jumped, her breath hitched, and her free hand moved to his head pulling him closer. The next flick caused the brush she was holding in her free hand to fall to the bed while her legs instinctually parted for his hands.

Hating to pull his mouth away from her core, but also desperately needing to feel her under his fingers, Kylo gripped the tip of his right glove between his teeth and pulled his hand free of the black leather. His still covered hand kneaded at her thigh as he slid two fingers along her heat and his mouth returned to its feast. The tip of his tongue poked her swollen clit, she opened her legs wider. Rey knew that she should make him stop but also whimpering at the same time. Kylo locked his arms around her thighs, halting her from pulling away from him.

With a swirl of his fingers and a flick of his tongue, Rey fell back on the bed, unwilling to fight him off. As he watched her spread out before him, he draped her right leg over his wide shoulder to anchor her body to his, her delicate foot splayed on his back. He could hear her breathing hitch as she began to pant.

“I want you.”

Her mind settled and she groaned at his words, her body quaking in reaction to his ministrations. He started once more on her inviting clit with her body’s encouragement. Kylo started by thrusting his tongue in her channel, curling the tip of his tongue as far as it would go. His teeth barely latched onto her clit just before he watched her back arch off the bed while pulling at her hair like she was possessed by a wicked deity.

Kylo knew that he was torturing her unused body, bringing her to the edge but not allowing her body to fall. Flicking, sucking, biting...gentle...soft...hard...maddening. Kylo abruptly stopped so that she could recover. He could hear Rey trying to catch her breath while the leg on his shoulder began to shiver uncontrollably. “Don’t stop.” The words whimpered from her lips immediately brought him back to her cunt.

Rey's hands clenched the sheets on the bed in a death grip while her body arched and began squirming for him. He wanted her fingers clutching his hair once again, forcing him to please her.

Kylo got his wish when he licked the length of her slowly then sucked her clit hard, a hand harshly landing on his head with a startled shout while the other remained tangled in the sheets. He couldn't stop his pleasure-filled groan as she tugged on his hair, his tongue in her cunt while the course pad of his thumb began to rub her clit. With a throaty moan, the other hand landed on his head. Rey threw her left leg over his shoulder, her feet pulling him closer while her back arched, and she cried out once more.

Rey kept him on her clit, she was close, he knew he finally coaxed her to release. She bravely chanced a look down and gasped in surprise, watching him work between her legs. She felt as if she was having an out of body experience, thinking that she couldn’t possibly be letting him do this to her. But as he sucked at her sensitive bud again, her fingers tugging his hair, grabbing his attention and drawing almost black eyes to hold her gaze.

She closed her eyes, needing to just focus on the pull that now settled in her core and arched her back when she heard a deep groan coming from the powerful man between her thighs. She forgot how to breath when the line snapped, and she crested for him for the first time, tears filling her eyes while she keened on the bed. Kylo feasted on her release, precious and pure, her body sensitive and twitching.

**Possession**

Kylo sucked on her inner thigh and looked up the length of her body, failing to calm his heated body, brushing a strong hand against his extremely hard cock that strained against the closure of his pants. He wanted more, he had to have more. His long muscular arms reached for her form, soft and pliant, her face flushed and eyes dazed. His lips almost timidly drawn to hers, gentle at first then quickly becoming passion filled the moment Rey started to reciprocate his attention. Kylo jerked her closer to his kneeling form, her legs spreading wider as his concealed length pressed against her naked center.

Kylo knew he was taking a risk when he placed one of her shaking hands on the clasps of his quilted top, unclipping one of them before returning his hands to her thighs. It took patience that he didn’t know he had to merely stroke her legs while he waited for her to make her move. His breathing hitched when he felt her shaking hands begin to timidly unclip the rest of the buttons.

Pulling his quilted top off slowly, her eyes widened as nervousness flowed through the bond. The poor girl looked positively frightened. Her hands shaking when he took one and placed it on his firm chest. His needy lips kissed her neck, the walls around her heart wearing thin to him, his fingers trembling as they slowly unbuttoned her shirt, his presence quietly entering her mind.

Rey watched with dazed eyes as he began to slowly slide the remaining black leather glove off of his large hand. A deep moan came from her when his now bare hands rested back onto her heated thighs. The satisfied smirk he gave her when he looked from the glove on the floor back to her eyes caused her cheeks to heat up in embarrassment.

“An interesting kink to have.”

His presence hidden in her mind...searching for a crack in her walls

Kylo began to slowly unbutton the shirt that she was wearing, Rey's hand quickly rising when the last button on her shirt was undone, halting his movement. Kylo looked into her leery eyes as he moved his hand to cover hers, not letting go but also not moving.

“Rey, please.”

The shirt opened, her chest now exposed to his eyes and he couldn't contain the primal growl that erupted from him at the sight of her full breasts. Kylo clenched his teeth so hard he thought they might break, his shaking hands reaching for her unclothed waist with one hand pulling her closer while the other explored her body. Rey's heart raced and her breathing deepened when determined lips latched onto a rosy nipple, nipping and sucking until it pebbled in his mouth. Rey didn’t notice as his dark presence began to softly press against her walls.

Desire for him. Confusion. Pleasure. Want

“I want you,” Kylo repeated into her skin as he quickly pushed the opened shirt over her shoulders and down her arms. He heard Rey's breath hitch before she clutched onto muscular shoulders, her thighs trembling while locked around his waist. He was so hard now, his cock grinding against the apex of her thighs, and hands that were once in her hair were now gripped around her back. It was becoming difficult to keep a grasp on her shaking body yet he wasn't going to soothe her again. He wanted her yearning for only him.

The single crack in her walls was easy to find and he began pressing forward. His left hand held the back of her neck, keeping her from falling to the bed while his right hand trailed the length of her body to the apex of her thighs, flicking her swollen clit, and not stopping until his ring finger sunk into her drenched tight cunt.

“Gods Rey...You’re so tight...” He said into her neck before his teeth latched onto her flushed skin and his thumb pressed against her clit while his ring finger fucked her core. A second finger added, her hand now gripping his wrist. His lips lowered to a hard rose-colored nipple, her grip on his wrist loosened. The pads of his fingers found the fleshy patch deep in her body.

The effect on her body was immediate, her cunt pulsed around his fingers. Kylo wanted, no needed to be connected to her in every way and while she attempted to hang on in this realm, he dove into her weakened mind.

The metal walls of an old base...A gentle kiss to her clavicle...A forest hiding a treasure…Kylo's free hand slowly moved to open his pants while she began to break for him once more...A baby giggling...

Rey's entire body froze in his arms the moment she felt his presence searching through her head. Tears immediately filled her eyes before she pushed him away with a wounded cry of betrayal, his fingers painfully removed from her still clenching core. The weakened barrier between them slammed shut once more as she quickly backed away from him, grabbing her top while she moved to the corner of her bed. Kylo’s form approached hers once more with his hands up, still wet with her slick while treating her like a frightened animal. Rey wouldn’t take her heartbroken eyes off his tight form while she hurriedly put the shirt back on.

He lied! Her mind screamed before spiraling into another memory.

Large hands, her bruised budding hips as a much large form rutted against her...Unkar Plutt trying to claim her once again. “There, there Rey-girl be a good moppet. Take my cock and I promise they'll return.”

Kylo jolted and looked down at the girl he hurt, cold flooding the bond.

He used her...She felt ill and couldn’t think to utter her old master’s name again.

Five lashes...ten lashes...twenty lashes. The sting of the whip on her already flayed back. She struggled against the hands holding her arms. Ap scream when the liquid touches the open wounds littering her back.

Kylo snarled, committing the memory of the faces of her captors.

He didn't want her at all!

“You're nothing. You come from nothing. You have no place in this story.” His last words echoed through her mind.

“Rey, don’t...” Kylo pleaded for her forgiveness. The memory of her fevered body breaking drove him forward until the Force chose that moment to separate them. Kylo was left kneeling on the floor of his room, her taste on his lips, begging the bond to return him to her side.

He was only met with silence.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: The award for the Supreme Leader of dumb goes too…
> 
> Authors Note: No excuses this time, I have been busy purchasing (and running) our new business…excitement…and I simply forgot it was Sunday. I’m sorry about that. Let me know what you like/dislike. I would like to see lots of new comments!
> 
> Warning: Tame Tame Tame

**Chapter 10**

The familiar feelings of anger and betrayal returned to her like a long-lost friend merely separated by time. It was the burn in her heart that was new to her, because he was gone, and it felt like happiness would never return. Rey grabbed the pillow beside her, pressed it into her face and screamed as loud as she could until simply breathing hurt.

Used, she felt used and unclean. Her body unconsciously reacted to the memory of what just took place moments ago, prompting her to jump from her bed. She would burn the sheets and the shirt she was wearing later. The short walk to the refresher felt like it took an eternity. In a daze, she clipped her hip bone on the lone dresser in her room, cursing and suspecting that it would later bruise.

The water was scalding, but the pain seemed to radiate from within her body. The cries coming from her sounded gutted and foreign while she scrubbed her skin raw. A misstep in the shower harshly brought her to her knees while she beat against the floor with clenched fists.

It was under the rapidly cooling water that Rey felt a foreign emotion, immediately defining it as hatred. It was the first time she hated anyone, even with the monsters on Jakku, Rey never felt pure hatred. 

It was funny, and she chuckled darkly to herself thinking that such a powerful man would want a dirty scavenger for more than a quick romp. In hindsight, it shouldn’t have surprised her much since all the men in Jakku were men that were just like Kylo Ren. She hated him, hated the monster named Kylo Ren. She hated the man, Ben Solo, and his deceivingly kind eyes.

Rey never wanted to see him again, vowing that this bond between them would end. They weren't good for each other and Kylo has proven how little he feels for her. The hatred she felt sat in her belly like a heated stone, easily settling her thoughts towards retribution and vengeance. It quickly morphed into a feeling that she didn’t like one bit. Yes, she was hurt but she wanted to prove to herself that she wasn’t just a nobody scavenger from Jakku. Rey knew that she had something to offer someone and knew that on the planet Lothal she would find a love that was true. A husband, the father to her children, and she would never think of Kylo Ren again.

A pulse in the Force showed that her thoughts were folly as if to say, ‘that’s not how Force bonds work’ and she felt even more dejected. Rey sunk into herself, remaining on her knees. The lights in her room flickered. It felt like hours later when the ice-cold water ceased raining on her mentally exhausted body. Rey didn't feel the blanket covering her naked body, nor the movement of being picked up. The soothing purr coming from Chewie told her he meant her no harm as she whimpered in despair until her body finally gave up, dreamless darkness finally welcoming her with open arms.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

**Emptiness. Regret. Longing. Despair.**

That was all Kylo felt since the moment that he was forced from atop her shattered body. There was once a time when he wanted to break her heart...break her. Kylo wanted Rey to know the depths of despair he felt after she denied him and what he offered her in the burning throne room onboard the Finalizer. At least that was what Kylo thought that he wanted until the moment that he broke her heart.

Kylo would remember the wounded look in her eyes until the day he died, the moment he shattered Rey's already fragile heart. The sight wasn't nearly as satisfying as he dreamed it would be. There was no rush of righteousness and hurting her didn’t feel as good as he believed it would.

However, watching Rey succumb to her suppressed desires for him was better than he dreamed it would be. Rey was so responsive to his attention, pulling him into her, and falling over the edge in a beautiful pulse of light. She wasn't a woman that was paid to please him. She didn't want him for his power. It was simply Rey, his breathtaking scavenger that wanted him.

No First Order. No Resistance. No Supreme Leader. No Ben Solo.

No, Kylo was the name that she whimpered the moment that she peaked for the first time for him.

The more that he tried to reach for her over the Force bond the harder she fought back. Rey's raw abilities were strengthening in the form of impenetrable walls that were meant to protect herself from him. It would also appear that the Force was on her side as well and was denying him access to his bond-mate.

Kylo thought about how much he had fucked up to make the naturally neutral sentient cosmic presence that exists in everything force him away from the one person in this vast galaxy because of his selfish actions. Kylo didn't notice the new presence in his quarters until it spoke, ending the silence in his quarters.

“Congratulations kid, you destroyed her. Just like you said you would on Crait.” The glowing blue form of Luke Skywalker informed him with frustration in his voice. The Force ghost stood beside him with arms crossed and indignation in his eyes.

“Why can't you just stay dead?” Kylo bit out in aggravation, choosing to be obstinate by refusing to look at his uncle.

“Where would the fun be in that?” The chuckle Luke gave him grated Kylo’s nerves and caused his left eye to twitch in frustration.

Kylo tried his best to ignore the glowing blue Force ghost beside him, wanting to ask but not wanting to reach out. Desperation would later be the reasoning behind the questions muttered under his breath, “Have you seen her? Is she alright?”

“Rey made herself vulnerable to you and you, once again, shattered her. No Ben, she isn't alright.” Luke hoped that the deadpan look in his eyes translated correctly as a Force ghost.

“She’s refusing me, and the Force is helping her,” Kylo responded his head in his hands.

“You're an ass. I'd refuse you also.” Luke replied with a sarcasm Kylo remembered was only reserved for Han.

“Go away, old man.”

The Force ghost faded, leaving Kylo to slowly wallow in his misery in silence once again. It was a new kind of madness that was now attacking his mind, the need to feel her, to see her was slowly taking over.

Please forgive me. He prayed the Force would have pity and deliver his message.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rey's eyes were dry and puffy when she awoke hours later in a room that was not her own, leaving her to wonder where she was. A steaming cup of pale brown liquid came into her line of sight as it was placed on the table in front of her. The thick warm quilt fell off her shoulders when she slowly sat up. A quick look down would find her spent body in a large grey cotton shirt and a pair of maroon flannel pants, her hair was loosely braided in a single plait.

“I feel horrible,” Rey croaked, her throat burning as she tried to speak. It hurt to take a sip of the steaming sweet tasting liquid.

Leia instinctively knew that anything she said would come across insensitive and uncaring. So, she chose to watch the hurting girl in front of her while deciding on a topic. “I’ve never had a reason to ask you before when I saw the scars on your back but how old were you when it started?”

Rey took a deep breath and looked down at the liquid, her reflection could be seen. “I was five the first time it happened.”

Leia's full lips pressed together in anger and disbelief; the teacup began to shake in her hands. It trembled as she placed it on the table. “Rey, Were you?” Leia’s heart shattered at the tortured look in Rey's eyes when she looked at her, her head bowed like she was ashamed.

The two women sat in silence while the air grew thicker, both wanting to speak but neither knowing how to start the conversation.

“What's wrong with me? Tell me, please?” Rey asked while she looked at her open hands, not looking up. “He pretended to want me! Am I really that disgusting?” A glass vase began to crack in the room while the lights dimmed and flickered. Leia slowly sat next to the heartbroken woman.

“You would never have known it, but Han was an immature self-centered scoundrel when we first met. The stubborn man couldn't successfully speak to a woman to save his life. I always wanted to either punch or kiss him . A trait that has unfortunately passed on to my son.”

Rey was confused as she watched the strong woman. “Kylo is an egotistical asshole.”

“That sums it up perfectly. For now, let's have some tea and talk about your mission. I have a project I’d like you to lead on Lothal. It will be a lengthy stay and you will be in limited contact with the Resistance. I believe that it will be good for you and will help you grow.”

Rey hung on every word that Leia said to her while she nursed the tea in her hands. Lothal was a step of progression down her path, a home that she could finally build for herself and she could be free there. She could grow there and be far away from Kylo Ren. Rey was a fool to believe she was anything other than a tool to him and yet again an even bigger fool to believe that he could ever be redeemed. The man that she dreamed that he could be was dead. The Force was wrong, they would never be together.

The Force bond between them had to end, there must be a way to break the thread that bound them together. It was the only answer for both. Kylo wasn’t good for her and she wasn’t enough for him, and she refused to be a toy to him any longer.

The General...her mother, Leia Organa was depending on her and she would die before she failed her. Those feelings were currently the only thing keeping her from losing her mind or deciding to run far away, to a place no-one would find her. The appearance of Poe Dameron brought them to the current point of their conversation while the Falcon traveled in hyperspace to Lothal.

“You want me to do what?” Rey asked Poe with tons of questions in her expression.

“The abandoned Imperial bases that Chewie found on Lothal house extremely fertile soil. I want you to return the bases to life. As you know, the Resistance is running on fumes trying to get by while rebuilding. You will keep us fed while supplying intel and untraceable funds. I want you to grow crops and supply the Resistance. The planet has yet to be taken in by The First Order, yet with the materials produced on the planet, it will only be a matter of time. I want you to immerse yourself in the culture, it will be valuable when and if The First Order makes a move to Lothal. I still have old friends from the Rebellion that reside and work in Capital City, I will speak to them, so they know to expect you. I'm counting on you to be my eyes and ears. I need for you to be strong, Rey, you will guide the people.” Leia answered the shocked girl.

“Lothal is in a state of recovery and will be imperative to the future of the Resistance, a perfect cover to hide operations while providing much-needed support.” Poe started to explain the gist of Leia’s grand plan while Rey hung on every word.

“I don't know anything about farming or being a leader. How will I provide funds?” Rey was slightly embarrassed at the fear that influenced her voice while Leia and Poe began to bring up maps of the planet.

The warm smile and determined look on Leia's face made Rey feel better, but it was the words she said that gave her comfort, “Rey, you are more of a leader than you know. You are kind, loyal, hard-working and stubborn as hell,” she smiled at the chuckle Rey awarded her, “There are no doubts in my mind that you will not only succeed, you will thrive.”

The closer the planet came; the more stressed Rey was. She was being left again; the thought filled her with terror as memories of the past flickered like a holovid through her mind. It was midday when the Falcon touched down in front of the base that Chewbacca chose for her home. It took a day for her things to be unloaded, the base only running life support functions due to undamaged solar panels and fresh water provided by the near mountain-fed creek that led to a large lake. There was a base that needed to be brought to life and Rey just knew that she was the only one that was up to the task.

Poe was the last to leave Rey's side, taking in the sight of him walking away, and she was once again an abandoned little girl on Jakku. She was confused when he stopped, turned around and returned to stand in front of her. The handsome man took an aged leather band off his wrist and started tying it around her thin wrist.

“This was my mother's. She gave it to me the night that my father died.” Poe told her, looking in her eyes. “You will be alright Stargirl. If you have this bracelet on your wrist, I will come for you when you call. I promise you won’t be abandoned again, look at this when you are lonely and remember we are always with you.”

The Falcon took off, leaving her to stand alone, in front of her new home. Rey knew in her heart that she was alone once again but this time she felt something she thought would never happen.

_Hope._


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Rey is given an important mission on her new home while healing a broken heart. 
> 
> Authors Note: Aha! It is Thursday! Boom I am on time! We have reached the middle of my story. Thank you to my lovely readers who have reviewed this whole time and welcome any new readers! I hope you are enjoying the story. Let me know what you are thinking. What do you think will happen? Will our silly kiddos get it together? What are they up too? 
> 
> Warning: Tame Tame Tame

**Chapter 11**

_Six standard months later..._

The sweet smells of flora and fruits filled the hollow halls of the base. Flowing on a gentle breeze through vast courtyards, found the petite figure of a young woman in a rich brown ankle-length cotton dress. She scooped a creamy pale pink mixture into a cluster of medium-sized blue glass jars. The workroom that she occupied was filled with supplies, oils, and soaps that were still in the curing process.

A low grumble seemed to echo of her ribs, jolting her slightly, before she looked up from her task with pleased eyes. Rey has been working on an order placed by a vendor in Capital City, with it finally finished, and while waiting for the lotions to set, she had plenty of time before her quarterly check-in with Leia and Poe.

The greenhouse was thriving, the corn, okra, and wheat would need to be harvested for the drop off in three days. Rey stood back and surveyed her home, a feeling of nostalgia taking over the mind. The first two months that she was alone were filled with trial and error. She sadly sacrificed quite a few early on coupled by an extremely painful fall while fixing a broken solar panel in the rain.

The seeds for the sweet-smelling flowers that Rose gave her were planted about a week after she arrived, but in beds closer to her living quarters. Then came the cow which she received from her first barter, a couple of chickens followed by two goats and two sheep. The animals were living in what she believed to be the commander's gardens, the area having greater ventilation.

The Force that lived within her was gentle and kind, not at all like the neutral Force that Luke taught her if she could call what he did teaching or the rage of Kylo Ren. The Force helped the crops grow and Rey felt like it was finally accepting the finality of her decision to deny the bond it gifted the two stubborn Force-wielders. In turn, the Force would come to her at night while she dreamt.

The one constant dream that she would have revolved around a great terracotta colored spire that ascended high into the sky before leading into choppy images of a vast underground cavern and a wall that was covered in glowing golden circles surrounding ancient drawings of humanoid creatures.

Rey would have dreams of the past, of a time when the spire structure was brand new and bustling with activity that she couldn't quite make out, but she knew it was important. The dreams would also show images of the present, the same towering structure now withered with time and overgrowth, a large cypress tree growing in the center of the structure its roots growing freely within the walls of the temple.

On the nights that the dreams occurred, which were realistically almost every night, Rey would wake up with a feeling that the Force wanted her to do something. She knew that the Force wanted her to go to that location, and the curious scavenger within her would insist that she discover the location of these dreams.

The life that she knew before began to fade away, he began to fade away. The Force bond between them continued to vibrate, knowing that it was Kylo attempting to reconnect with her. Rey knew that her wounded heart wasn't ready to see him yet. It was in the stillness of the night, with the full moon above, that she finally allowed her heart to place the word for what she felt for the dark Force user.

_Love._

It was love that she felt for Kylo and love was the reason it tore her apart when he hurt her. Rey, a scavenger from Jakku, was in love with the Supreme Leader of the First Order. It was a love she vowed to never act upon again, the first experience with Kylo was more than enough.

There would be days when Rey wondered what he was doing or wished to see his face, but it was her stubbornness and pride that stopped her. Rey refused to look him up on the holonet and would quickly change the subject the moment that Poe or Leia started on the news from the war. Kylo Ren made his choice and he chose the throne of the First Order, that truth was still a difficult pill to swallow.

The dreams tonight started like most, with the familiar location of the spire made of terracotta colored stone. A pulse of power through the Force in her dream was guiding her where to go, pushing her towards something important. It was a masculine scream of agony that threw her from the dream tonight.

Rey jumped from her bed, raced out of her room, stubbing her toes and nicking her hipbone on the walls of the base while she rushed to the command center, sleep still clouding her brain.

Rey's fingers were moving by themselves while she searched through the database of Lothal, tabs that showed buildings and places of interest flipped by her eyes until she found what she was searching for.

The Jedi Temple of Lothal

Why did the Force want her to go there?

Rey didn't know what the Force had planned for her but knew that she would follow...she didn't stub her toes for anything.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

_The Finalizer_

Hux could feel the veins that ran along his temples beginning to pound, a stress headache intensifying the moment he entered the training rooms where the Supreme Leader and his Knights of Ren were sparring.

‘Seriously…’ Hux thought when he saw the training droids that lay in sparking pieces ‘...again…’ The remains of twelve training droids sat in a heap at the feet of the dark heaving figure of a man standing amid the havoc.

“Again!” The well-known modulated voice ordered; five men cloaked in black immediately encircling him.

Hux stood just inside the doors of the demolished training room, observing the chaos and watching the fight before him with awe. The Knights exploded in a flurry of movement, continuing their dance of death with clashing lightsaber beams of variant blood red colors, sparking every time their weapons met. The bout was as horrible as it was beautiful.

“The Supreme Leader seems to be getting worse,” Hux loosely crossed his arms over his chest and spoke out of the side of his mouth to Holon, one of the last of the original Knights of Ren from Skywalker's academy.

“It has been six months and my Master is still unable to find her. The Force is allowing him to feel her presence while permitting the girl to maintain her distance.” Holon replied, leaning up against the wall next to the ginger-haired General. Holon would never tell another living being about the state of Kylo Ren’s soul, how being apart from his bond-mate was tearing his Master apart. They watched the fight until the Supreme Leader staggered and fell to his knees, going slack before passing out from exertion, the lights in the training room flickering as the dead weight of his body fell hard against the black training mats.

“Is there anything that can be done,” Hux questioned as he lightly kicked the toe of his boot into an unconscious Kylo Ren.

“The woman doesn't want to be found and the Force has chosen to hide her presence.” The Knight spoke with pity in his voice, watching as the strongest of the Knights carried their leader through the back doors of the training room and following them directly to Kylo's quarters. “The Force is punishing him.”

Hux looked up at Holon, surprise in his features, “The Force can do that?”

“I've never heard of such a thing occurring, but I know that anything is possible with the Force.”

The two men left their leader's chambers, both hoping that Ren’s dreams would provide some solace, but the moans of sadness told them that their hopes would be disregarded once more.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

The dream started like most did for him these days, with him alone. The light continued to evade him while he pleaded for forgiveness. Kylo tried to forget how Rey's pliant body felt under his hands. Kylo wanted to forget the golden hue in Rey’s expressive eyes, how her eyes would speak the words that she hid from the world.

The dreams would quickly shift to remind him of the look of betrayal that she gave him when she felt his presence searching through her mind. Kylo broke her heart, making her feel worthless and unwanted, by Rey presuming that he didn’t desire her for more than just her body or her knowledge of the Resistance.

What a mess he had made.

“Thirty years old and you're still hopeless at talking to women.”

“For kriff’s sake will you just stay dead old man?” Kylo growled as he slowly turned to once again see the blue Force ghost of Luke Skywalker standing in front of him. The anger rose in Kylo quickly, prompting him to reach for his saber.

“I hate to tell you...again, but you aren't able to kill me in your dreams either nephew.”

“If you have come to gloat...”

“The Force is hiding the girl's signature from you. It doesn't feel that you are worthy of the precious gift it gave you. Perhaps you can listen to me for once and prove the Force wrong.”

Kylo remained perfectly still before his uncle, watching Luke for any signs of deceit. Kylo stood up straighter, their eyes meeting and while he wanted to shove that satisfied look down Luke's throat, the old Jedi was right.

“There it is, that's your mother's fire.”

Kylo's eyes slowly opened to see the metal ceiling in his room. The stoic form of Holon watched him as he slowly sat up in bed.

“You feel less hectic, Master,” Holon remarked, his head bowing slightly.

“Gather the Knights. We have work to do.” Kylo didn't bother listening to a response, as he slowly stood and moved to stand by the viewport in his quarters. The bright white beams of hyperspace helped his mind begin to formulate a plan.

If it's worth that the Force wants him to prove, then worth is what it shall receive.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

The trip to the Jedi Temple was relatively short and uneventful, taking only a few hours to reach her destination on a speeder. Rey's feelings of unease grew the closer that she came to the temple and the surrounding air grew still and thick with so many emotions. Even the sun seemed to shine a little less on the large natural stone structure.

The sinking feeling that Rey associated with the Darkside of the Force began to descend upon her with its unholy presence on her unprepared mind. The temple she stood before held great evil at some point in time, an evil that never left the decrepit building.

There was an event, a single point in time, filled with evil intentions that occurred here long ago.

Rey took a deep shaky breath before she slowly began to ascend the steep stone steps to the crumbling entrance to the long-abandoned temple. The newly completed glorious spire she saw in her dreams decayed greatly over time, deep green foliage now covering the temple beginning at the base and climbing over one hundred feet towards the tip of the spire.

Rey could see a deep, manmade hole in the center of the temple, the walls of the hole cut away to reveal notches in the stone. The sight was curious, yet there was a thick trunk of an overgrown cypress tree that was destroying the temple without remorse growing in the hole. The roots of the giant tree were burying deep within the stone slab flooring. The walls were covered with unknown symbols that she has seen only once, in the sacred Jedi texts she stole from Ahch-To.

It was curiosity that gradually lead Rey through the halls of the temple, peering into every empty room that she came across. The telltale remnants of a battle littered the walls and floors, scars remaining from blaster fire and lightsaber strikes. Rey could close her eyes and picture the halls strewn with bodies, tears immediately coming to her eyes when she felt an unexplainable sadness fill her soul.

The overwhelming emotions made her want to leave, but the Force urged Rey's feet to continue forward in her exploration. There were faded hieroglyphics on the walls that began to take shape as she moved down a dark hall to her left. Rey cautiously entered a room where the walls were painted like a cloud-filled sky, with different soft hues tinting each like the most spectacular sunsets. Along the lower part of the far wall were primitive drawings, as if children created them. There were depictions of people, with drawn sticks for their bodies, arms, and legs, along with scenes with animals, trees, and flowers. The unmistakable signs of heated blaster bolts and precise lightsaber strikes slashed across some of the drawings.

“Why have you brought me here?” Rey questioned the Force with sadness in her voice once again as she reached out a trembling hand and traced a saber mark on the wall. She was still crying when a pulse from the Force urged her out of the room and down the hall once again. Rey could hear the screams of terror and see the blood red glow of a lightsaber, stalking her while the Force led her through the temple.

A sharp pain originated near her eyes and moved to her temples as her head began to throb, throwing off her balance. Rey stumbled and threw her arms out to catch herself, moving to brace herself on the wall in front of her. The scenery before her eyes melted away the moment that her fingertips touched the wall.

Rey opened her eyes to the past, a vision akin to the moment she touched Anakin's lightsaber in Maz's tavern on Takodana. The temple was dark and filled with screams. A boy with sandy colored hair, running away from an unseen threat. Her body turned to chase the boy and his attacker, Rey was finding it hard to keep up with them, turning when he turned and sprinting when he did.

Rey entered a room to see the boy stabbing the walls with precision, his wild eyes looking through her. A rich orangey-brown colored fabric covered the wall, appearing to blend perfectly with the stone that the temple was constructed from. A black fabric panel was moved next, the boy’s eyes looking his work over before quickly crouching in an attack pose. Rey saw the room light up in red, the lightsaber, going through her and towards the boy.

“No!” Rey screamed and tried to reach out for the boy, the Force choosing to let her see the beam sink into his thin chest. The boy sank to his knees before falling the rest of the way to the ground. He was struggling to breathe when Rey rushed to kneel by his side.

The Force permitted Rey the honor of witnessing the last moments of the boy's life, no one witnessing the tears that she shed. The past slowly faded away to the present and Rey could feel her knees ache from her position on the unforgiving stone floor. When she stood up, she looked down at her clothing. The deep brown dress she wore now had tiny pinpricks of light littering the bodice. She slowly turned towards the wall, seeing a familiar black cloth in front of her. The room appeared to be untouched by time, the fabric in the same condition it was in her dream.

The pins of light drew her to the fabric, her eyes widened when she saw numbers littering the tapestry. The black fabric opened down the middle displaying the stone wall behind it, however upon further exploration would find another tapestry hiding the true wall. Rey took a deep breath and moved both hands to clutch the fabric, it disintegrated in her hands and showed the stone wall, two sets of numeric markers covered in pinpricks of light.

The moment Rey realized what she was looking at, her eyes lit up and she could feel a smile come to her face, “Oh, you clever boy.”

Rey quickly dropped her bag to the floor and pulled out her datapad to begin typing the separate sets of numbers. She didn't know what the numbers were for but knew that this was why the Force brought her here.

Rey started running to the exit of the temple the moment the last number was typed into her datapad, racing to return to the warmth that Lothal’s sun provided. She had to get home, there was work to do.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: We see our Last Jedi living her life on Lothal and our tormented Supreme Leader living their lives six months later. The Force keeps being tricky with Rey and sending dreams about an old Jedi temple while Luke meets with his wayward nephew. 
> 
> Authors Note: Sunday and I am on time! The next few chapters and some of my favorites, I hope you enjoy them as well. Thank you for reading and reviewing. 
> 
> Warning: No warnings, just some fun!

**Chapter** **12**

It was close to midnight when she reached the safety of her home and began inputting the first set of numbers into her datapad. The computer took only seconds to locate and open the navigational charts that provided the planetary coordinates for the ice world of Ilum. 

While there weren’t many files available about Ilum, there was enough information available for her to get an idea of where she would be traveling. The frostbitten blue and white planet was referenced in numerous databases as the most sacred home of the extinct Jedi Order. The primary location where Jedi initiates were put through rigorous tests referred to as, The Gathering, where they would brave the Crystal Caves in order to discover the Kyber crystal that was attuned to the bearers unique Force signature. The crystals would, in turn, be used as an integral part of constructing the Jedi’s Lightsaber, while under the watchful eyes of their Master.

‘Under the watchful eyes of their Master.’ The words that kept repeating, the one thing that she was without because there was no Jedi Master for Rey. She would have to do this alone, a word that she knew well, yet seemed to affect her more than before. Rey shook her head to clear her gray thoughts, there wasn’t anything she could do about it so she wouldn’t waste time dwelling on it.

The planet was now categorized as a barren wasteland, having been aggressively farmed all of its Kyber crystals long ago by the Empire and used to power the weapon known as the Death Star.

“Why would the Force guide me there?” Rey said to herself before trying to figure out what she was missing. The second set of numbers immediately returned with No Results Found, leaving her feeling confused and frustrated.

That night, Rey dreamt of the planet that appeared to be chiseled from a singular block of ice. The Force presented a rapid series of images that eventually took her to a crumbling archway crafted from the surrounding ice. A pair of cracked ice pillars adorned the sides and led into the Crystal Caves. The main entrance appeared to be blocked, the Empire ensuring that if any of the crystals remained, they would be lost forever.

The location quickly changed, her subconscious struggling to keep up, before finally landing on a steep wall of ice leading up to a small ledge and a burst of multicolored lights that were pulsing from inside of a dark cave…

_They left us...Alone in the dark...Always waiting_

The voice or voices that echoed in her mind were otherworldly and almost childish in nature. The reverberations left her filled with a painful emptiness, making her heart clench and race at the same time. Something was calling to her, reaching out to her through the dreams...through the Force.

Rey was abruptly pulled from her sleep and shrieked in pain. The normally static pink crystal that hung from the thin silver chain around her neck was glowing, pulsing and hot to the touch. The startling feeling of the crystal burning against the sensitive skin covering her collarbone quickly brought her to her feet.

In the dark, it took a bit of stumbling and maneuvering for Rey to leave her room, the crystal finally calming once she started moving towards the command center. Through the dream, the Force had shown Rey the answer to the mysterious second set of numbers. They weren't coordinates in the galaxy but rather the numbers led to a location on Ilum itself.

Rey knew now with certainty that there was something on that planet that was calling out for her. Without a doubt in her mind, Rey moved to the communicator in the command center. She pressed the transmitter, sent out a hailing signal and impatiently waited for a response.

A gruff rumble and a temperamental growl was her answer, the sound immediately brought a smile to her face.

“Yes, I know it's early and that you need your beauty sleep Chewie but I need your help…”

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Leia knew that it would be impossible to talk Chewie out of leaving the base and responding to Rey's request for aid. The moment that Rey called, Chewie was already preparing the Falcon for departure. The Wookie refused to discuss the details of Rey's request leaving Leia to wonder what Rey was up to. The mother in her worrying over yet another hard-headed reckless child, the humor of it all was not lost on her.

“Yes, I know how important Rey is to us but it's not safe for the Falcon to be seen, Chewbacca.” A low sigh followed by a frustrated growl was her answer and Leia chastised in return, “Don't you take that tone with me Chewbacca!”

“If the little one needs me...I must go. It is what I have promised her.” Chewbacca threw his long hairy arms in the air, irritation growing as he argued with the mate of Han Solo. Chewie moved through the metal halls of the Falcon, searching through the many closets and cubbies for reliable winter clothing for his charge, an interesting request but he has learned over the years to not question the motives of headstrong human females.

It felt like a lifetime ago that Chewie and Han found the young woman hiding in a service hatch on their missing ship. Han would have been proud of what Rey was doing on Lothal, the integral aid that she has provided to Resistance. The food that she has grown filled their bellies as well as providing funding for the Resistance.

Chewbacca was busy preparing for the trip when he turned around to see the petite Asian, Finn's mate he reminded himself, standing in front of him, looking up at him expectantly.

“I'll be going with you.” While Rose’s voice was filled with warmth, it also left no room for objection. She stepped away just in time to watch Chewbacca throw a Wookie sized temper tantrum in the landing bay of the base. When he was done he turned to see the girl still standing there with her arms crossed and an unimpressed expression on her face. “Are you finished?”

Chewie weakly sighed, seeing the same fire and determination in this young woman's eyes, so much like his Rey-girl. He let out another low grumble, shook his head in defeat and stepped aside for his new passenger. Chewie lumbered away from the Falcon and towards the General.

Finn abruptly stood in the Wookie’s path, his body taut. Chewbacca could tell that the dark-skinned man was intimidated yet courageously stood his ground, “She,” Finn turned to look at Rose, “comes back to me in one piece.” The threatening growl began deep in Chewie’s chest, causing the shorter man to stand to attention before stuttering out a timid, “Please.”

Chewbacca often wondered why he threw in his lot with these highly emotional humans, Rey-girl better appreciate his efforts because this trip was already beginning to be more trouble than originally planned, and the Falcon hadn't even lifted off yet.

_I'm getting too old for this_, he thought to himself before shrugging his shoulders and nodding to the concerned little human.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

The breeze smelled fresh and felt crisp in the early morning hours when Rey heard the telltale sounds of a ship landing on the tarmac in front of the base. She stood up from her crouching position as she worked at harvesting the wheat, dusted her hands off on her navy cotton dress and moved to greet Chewbacca.

Rey passed her travel packs that were neatly arranged by the entrance to the gardens while untying the knot in her dress that was used to keep the skirt out of the way during her day's work. The well-worn fabric fell to rest just above her ankles and she chuckled, recalling the harmless tiff that she had with Leia as if it occurred yesterday.

“I am not wearing...this thing…to my first meeting with a merchant in Capital City.” Rey scoffed while holding out the deep brown cotton dress like it would bite her.

“You will wear that dress Rey Organa or so help me I will go to that meeting with you like a parent walking a petulant toddler to their first day of school,” The blue hologram showed Leia with her arms crossed across her chest, voice permeating with exasperation and warning, her right foot tapping in aggravation.

The memory made Rey grin but she still refused to admit to Leia that dresses were much easier to work in, most of them having long slits up the sides of the ankle length skirt. Even with a pair of leggings worn underneath, the dresses made her feel feminine and for the first time in her harsh life, she felt like and looked like a lady.

Chewbacca would want to see the progress she made with the crops that he helped plant many moons ago. Rey was prepared to be squeezed half to death and the top of her head gently patted by a pair of large furry paws, while being lifted off her feet.

What she didn't expect was to be tackled by the excited body of Rose when the enthusiastic woman leapt into Rey's middle, winding her while sending the pair to the ground in an ungraceful heap of cloth and limbs.

Rey groaned in pain and peered up into the happy face of Rose, breathless but content when she could physically welcome her friend that was latched onto her middle, “It’s great to see you too, Rose.”

The next hour was spent loading the Falcon while trying to keep up with the multiple stories that Rose was throwing at her. Rey gave them a tour around the base, Rose finally slowing down before slipping into mechanic mode.

“You do your mission and I might even work on some of your projects while you are gone. Don’t think for a second that I didn’t miss your extensive ‘To Do’ list in the command center.” Rose winked playfully at Rey as she pushed the leery woman out of her home and towards the loading bay doors of the Falcon.

“Rose won't do anything...drastic...will she?” Rey questioned Chewbacca while she waved to her friend as the doors closed. The Wookie released a mumbled but low growl and huffed as he strode away from her, “What do mean ‘define drastic’?” Rey squeaked before taking off after the walking carpet.

“Come back here Chewie!”

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

The Falcon would reach the planet of Ilum in four standard days traveling through hyperspace, which provided Rey with plenty of time to rethink the plan she was about to try to pull off. It was when she was faced with times like this that she wanted...Rey shook her head to clear that train of thought. The last thing that she needed to do was to be dwelling on him.

The feather-light caresses that she felt against the Force bond were tempting, filling Rey with a deep yearning for a connection with the one person that she desperately wished was hers. It would be simple to push aside her feelings, accept his advances, and allow the connection with Kylo once again but their past held her back.

Rey wanted to share her precious moments with someone, no longer wanting to celebrate them alone. It was Kylo Ren who assured her on Ahch-To that she was no longer alone, yet here they were, seemingly locked in what appeared to be an eternal struggle of push and pull. Rey was used to being alone her entire life but now she yearned to have a love like Rose and Finn shared for all to see.

The Force was actively urging her to reach out to Kylo, telling her that his assistance was vital for her success through the Gathering. The Supreme Leader of the First Order successfully completed the trials, when he once claimed the name of Ben Solo. The memory of that fateful night that Luke Skywalker stood with his weapon at the ready over Ben's defenseless body came to her. Rey remembered the blue saber that Ben used to defend himself, a crystal that he would have earned on Ilum.

Kylo knew what to expect and could help guide her accordingly through the trials. In the end, it was Rey who allowed an unhealthy mix of stubbornness and a fear of vulnerability to keep the bond between them closed.

After what felt like forever, the Falcon reached the coordinates on the planet and touched down on the icy ground. The view out of the cockpit windows took her breath away, reminding her of the feeling of awe that filled her the first time she witnessed the richness of the green trees that made up the forests on Takodana.

White...there was white everywhere...thick layers of snow and ice covered everything in sight. The snow looked like a blanket, covering the planet before her. A hairy long arm came into view, pointing up a solid wall of ice. Chewbacca whined and grumbled, deeply looking into her eyes. The sight of the snow-covered ground brought her back to another time on a planet that was crumbling around her while she fought Kylo Ren, their battle against each other.

Rey sighed, answering simply, “Yes, I have to do this.” She then stood, leaving the cockpit to walk the empty halls of the Falcon in order to reach her quarters and begin dressing to meet the harsh climate of Ilum. The layers of thick woolen clothing were foreign against her normally lightly covered body. The frigid air that she breathed in when the landing bay doors opened chilled her lungs. It was a short walk from the Falcon to the base of a solid wall of ice. The wall appeared to be roughly the same height as the decrepit Imperial starships that she used to climb while scavenging in the deserts of Jakku. The memories felt like a lifetime ago, when she was a different person.

Before she met...

Rey dispelled that line of thinking and began the first leg of her journey with one naturally shaped foothold, quickly losing herself to the climb.

_Stake...Rope...Step...Stake...Rope...Pull...Rest...Repeat_

The muscles in her arms and legs that were once accustomed to climbing, now fatigued under the strain of her upward movements. Her body felt heavier, softer... healthier due to a steady source of food. A fact that should have made her happy if she wasn't currently scaling at least a hundred-foot wall of ice.

The climb up the wall was taking forever or perhaps Rey was procrastinating because she didn't want to do this alone. Rey could finally see the top of the treacherous ice wall, the muscles in her arms were racked with tremors when she wrenched over the cliff's edge and onto the ice shelf that she had seen in her dreams. The navigational system she used at her home base couldn't accurately depict what she would be climbing into but the area that she was now standing in was hollow, the roof of the cave ascended a good twenty feet. The walls of the cave took on a pale blue hue, to the left of the cave was her destination. The entryway columns that the Empire destroyed leading to the Crystal Caves below were chiseled into the ice with intricate markings a rough contrast to the columns in this cave were left in their natural state, jagged and sharp.

Rey set her pack down and took out the equipment that it would take to light a fire so that she could prepare for the Gathering. She took a deep chilled breath and stepped closer to the entrance to the cave, Rey checked that her staff was secured to her back as she contemplated the undertaking before her.

_“You can't take any weapons and lose the layers.”_ The blue-hued Force ghost of Luke Skywalker stood beside her with his arms crossed.

Rey let out a squeal of surprise, clutching the fabric across her chest. The blue Force ghost looked like her old Master, taking everything in while she walked in a circle around his glowing body. “What in the Force are...how can...huh?”

Luke stared at the cave for a moment before cutting unimpressed eyes to look at her shocked face, _“Tick tock, Rey. I can't stay here forever.” _

Rey was still confused while she started to remove layers of thick clothing, took off her staff, and left everything on the ground close to the warmth of the modest fire, hoping that she didn't return to frozen clothes.

_“The Force will test you. It will attempt to break you and you will have no help once you enter that cave, Rey. You will either pass or you will fail.”_

“So no pressure whatsoever,” Rey wanted to be catty but at this moment she was simply nervous and attempting to hide it with sarcasm. The cave in front of her pulsed, pushing a plethora of feelings through the Force, directed at Rey while she slowly approached the entrance to the foreboding cave. The hesitant look in Luke's eyes did nothing to boost her confidence, looking over her shoulder one last time. “Any other advice?”

_“The Force will be with you…” _

Rey didn't bother looking back to the spot that Luke once stood, knowing that he was no longer there before whispering to herself, “That's what I'm afraid of.”

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

It was the sound of creepy high-pitched laughter that both unnerved and intrigued Rey, causing her feet to keep moving deeper into the bowels of the crystal cave. The cave sparkled with remnants of crystals from days long past. Rey's nerves were frazzled while she continued along the path through the caves. The giggling suddenly stopped making the silence unnerving, the only noises coming from her boots as she treads on. It felt like she had been walking for days when she saw them.

The appearance of two girls should have scared Rey, however, she felt a kinship with them. The young girls that stood before her had long golden hair, were shoeless and dressed in grey scavenger robes stood before her, and held hands while simply looking up at her.

_“Why are you here?”_ the girl on the left asked her, tilting her head while watching Rey with interest and Rey could feel their curiosity at her appearance through Force.

It was the warmth of familiarity that assured her that she could approach the two little girls. She knew them and they knew her, however, it wasn't like how she knew about the Jedi Temple on Lothal or knew of the Crystal Caves through Force dreams. Rey could feel their importance deep within her soul, in a place still unknown to her.

“I'm not sure, but I believe I'm here for you.” Rey squatted on the balls of her feet, now eye level with them.

The girls held a look of hope in their gaze that faded into a troubled expression. _“We wish it were that easy for we have been waiting for you for so long, but first you must join the other countless Jedi before you, you must pass the trials.”_

“Can you take me to where I need to go?” Rey softly asked, holding her hands out for them to take. There was a moment of hesitation before wonder filled their innocent hazel eyes.

The girls patiently led Rey through the caves, letting the woman help them over obstacles in a caring manner that was never shown to her in her youth. Their slight figures reminded her of the past, of going to bed hungry, of the missed meals that parents should have provided her, parents that should have been there.

Warm to the touch, there was something about the two girls that seemed to glow. The trio worked together until reaching a natural formed bridge, dark water flowing under the large slab of ice. Rey stepped onto the bridge, looking back when the small fingers slipped from her hand.

_“We can go no further, you must finish without us.”_ One girl stood on the bank of the underground river and her expression soft. _“For that, we are sorry.”_ The twin remarked before turning to take her sister's hand.

“I will come back for you, I promise,” Rey told them, the same words that her parents told her as they took money from Unkar Plutt. The girls looked weary for a moment before they smiled at her, Rey desperately wanting them to believe in her.

_“We will be waiting.” _The childlike voice grew distant, prompting Rey to turn away from her path once more._ “We have always been waiting.”_

The heartbreaking words filled the room the moment they left their mouths, the water began to ripple around the ice slab she now stood on. It was while her attention was drawn to the water that Rey noticed the change in the room around her. The biting air was unnaturally still yet she could feel the heaviness of the Force gathering. Rey could feel that something important was about to start, her head feeling heavy as she struggled to remain awake, moving to sit hard on the ground. Rey's mind warned her that laying down was a bad idea, yet her body was defenseless to stop it, hearing three words before slowly closing her eyes.

_The trials begin… _


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: The Force has sent Rey to Ilum and has started the trials. Where is our leading man? 
> 
> Authors Note: Here we are! Thank you for all of your comments. I love hearing from you. Tell me what you think. 
> 
> Warning: Meh…Kylo has a couple lines of a sexy dream…because duh…

**Chapter 13**

Kylo Ren sat in deep meditation within his quarters on the _Finalizer_. The task of searching for Rey becoming routine since her walls refused to drop for him. He would stride into his quarters from a battle or training in his black woolen surcoat and robes and immediately begin meditating. There was a part of him that was glad he couldn't reach her since he knew she was furious with him; the only way Rey would let him in is if she was weakened or...

It was that exact unspeakable thought that made his heart clench when he felt the foreign and bitter cold of an icy wind surrounding him. 

Kylo's eyes took in everything surrounding him, the sudden appearance on a young boy standing in front of him took him by surprise. The boy watched Kylo, his head slightly tilted in a familiar manner_, _with dark black hair, pale skin, and soulful hazel eyes. The boy could have been his clone as a child and yet...Rey...he was their...

_“Why are you here?” _

Kylo could feel the chill in the air through his clothing, unsure if he was in the Force or still deep in meditation. “I don't know…” his calculating eyes looked around the space, seeing that it was just them. “But I believe that I'm looking for someone,” Kylo replied in a deep yet muffled voice that sounded like his ears were full of water.

_“Come.”_

Now knowing who the child was, Kylo followed him without question, the two walking until they reached an ice bridge with dark turbulent water surrounding a flat slab of ice. The scenery around him was ignored, his eyes instantly settling on the body of a petite woman lying just over the bridge. Kylo would know that form anywhere, and his feet moved forward before his mind could stop him. 

Kylo struggled to stay upright while he slipped in his rush to her side, falling hard to his knees beside her. This was not how he pictured his next meeting with Rey, perhaps her hard gaze or the stubborn set of her jaw, but not the curled in the body of the woman bathed in darkness. Kylo slowly gathered her pliant body into his arms with great care. Thank the gods she was breathing, but the cold would soon kill her. Where in the Force was she?

_“You can't help her.”_

Kylo turned his head towards two new voices, the owners being a pair of twin girls with long wavy golden hair. They kept curious eyes on him while he freed the steel buttons of his heavy woolen overcoat, opening it enough to hold Rey's freezing body close, the ends of the coat barely closing around them. Kylo looked at the girls then down to Rey, taking in his surroundings as long-buried memories were instantly unearthed.

“Ilum, Rey is on Ilum,” Kylo spoke in wonder, watching as two identical grins came upon their youthful faces. Kylo didn't remember much of his trials from when he was younger, except that he woke up three days later on the ice floors of Ilum, his uncle watching over him. “Who are you?”

Their silence was unnerving as he noticed that they were no longer standing in front of him as a single unit. The girls were now separated, one standing at Kylo’s right side hovering innocently over his shoulder while the other was kneeling on the floor beside his left thigh, trying to peer at Rey's calm face through the opening of his overcoat.

_“We are hers and she is ours, but not. She must pass the test and you are not permitted to help her.”_ The voice to his right was exasperated, his hackles immediately rising before she continued. _“The better question, Kylo Ren, is who are you?”_

Kylo could see Rey's eyes move under her closed eyelids, the sight left him feeling helpless once more. 

The twin hovering over his shoulder spoke, his hair moving slightly as she breathed. _“However, you may be with her, should you wish it.” _

“Do it,” Kylo growled at the child, praying that the Force would protect Rey's body. The child on his left moved to stand before him, reached out her hand, the tip of her index finger took on a golden yellow hue, and she pressed her finger to his forehead. “Besides, I've never been one for rules anyway.”

The twins looked at each other with wide eyes, before looking back at him, grinning mischievously. 

_“We wish you luck, Ben Solo.”_

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rey opened her eyes, rolled over to her stomach and slowly pushed herself up off the frozen ground, not remembering how she ended up on the floor if the cavern. The cave was no longer bathed in darkness, which was a welcoming sight for her hazy mind. There was something wrong, it could be felt through the Force like she needed to do something.

Why was she here? Rey pondered while walking through the ice tunnels. The beauty of the caves bringing peace to her heart, yet she instinctively knew that her questions would be left unanswered. 

_No...You mustn't forget...Remember...Rey_

Rey looked over her left shoulder, searching for the strong masculine voice that filled the cave and spoke to her heart, but was disappointed when she found no trace of the source. The tunnel to her left called to her, welcoming Rey with dazzling hues of greens, blues, and yellows. It looked like walking into a rainbow and a smile easily adorned her face. It was as if all of her troubles began to fade away and she felt free at last. This was where she was meant to be, and yet her body felt heavier somehow as she drew closer to the tunnel. There was something within her that could tell that the happiness of the tunnel was off, cold even, like the peace she saw was a lie.

_NO!...You must stop...Turn around and look…_

Rey shook her head in an attempt to dispel the voice, yet her body unknowingly began to turn as directed, feeling that this voice was important to her. The tunnel to her right was materializing in front of her, where the other tunnel was light, this tunnel was dark. Rey didn't want to go in this tunnel, the other was filled with warmth and promise. The closer she stepped to the ominous tunnel, the faster her heart pounded in her chest, Rey could feel a pulse through the Force trying to reach her. The Force was urging her to not believe what she saw, that appearance could be deceiving.

_Yes...Do not fear...Listen _

The rich voice that spoke once more was calming, her soul finally at peace. It was with this soothing warmth wrapped around her that Rey gathered the courage needed to step into the unknown. 

The tunnel was bitterly cold and devoid of light, all traces of hope and emotion were sucked out of this space. She didn't like this place, it hurt to be without the warmth of the light, tears gathering in her eyes. The desperate need to flee arose and she began to back away from the darkness that appeared to grow before her.

_The darkness won't harm you...It's within you...Rey_

The sensible thing to do would be to ignore this nameless presence that was guiding her forward and yet Rey trusted _his _words. Rey felt like the owner of this mysterious voice _knew_ how she felt in the darkness.

Rey was leery to make that first step but gathered what courage she had and moved deeper into the tunnel. The path could not be seen, her sight blinded by the absence of light. Rey used her fingertips to feel the freezing walls around her, to guide her through the tunnel. 

In what felt like hours but could possibly have been minutes or seconds within her dreamlike state, Rey could finally see a light, golden, cutting the darkness, and calling to her. The closer she drew to the muted yellow glow, the brighter it became until Rey stood looking down at a pair of golden lights. The warmth of their brightness called to her as she slowly sank to her knees and began to reach out with trembling fingers in order to touch their brilliance.

Rey could feel the warmth radiating from the crystals as they pulsed, encouraging her touch. It was the blood red crackling beam of light from a double bladed saberstaff that halted her hand’s progression. The blade led to an onyx durasteel handle that was tightly clutched by a feminine leather gloved hand. 

Rey's eyes trailed up a black leather boot with faded steel buckles that stopped just below the knee. Trousers of worn leather tightly wrapped around strong legs like second skin were worn under a solid black tunic wrapped around a lean torso. Rey couldn't see the woman's face and yet she somehow knew the person under the hooded cowl.

** _What makes you think that you are worthy of them? What makes you believe you are worthy of anything?_ **

The voice dripped with malice, feminine with an evil that chilled Rey to the bone. But she slowly stood to meet this evil head-on, placing herself between this new threat and the lights behind her. The cavern filled with condescending laughter and Rey watched the woman move her right hand to cover a pair of ruby lips, the rest of the intruder’s face hidden still hidden.

** _You seek to protect them, to guard their luminescence...But with what?_ **

The taunt had the desired effect on Rey, causing her to question what she was doing here, untrained, ill-prepared, and weaponless. The crystals pulsed behind her, trying to reach Rey once more. What did she have to offer them? Why would the Force want them to belong to her?

** _You have nothing to offer...You are yet another useless piece of desert trash…_ **

It was a truth that Rey had been trained to believe with all her heart. She had always been told that there was nothing that she could offer anyone. There was no place in this galaxy for her, she was not wanted by her parents, the infamous Luke Skywalker didn't want her, and Kylo...

_Fight Rey!... You can't believe what you hear...You mustn’t..._

The masculine voice was quickly muffled, a wicked grin appearing on the cloaked woman’s blood red lips once again. A familiar face was at the front of Rey's mind, a man with soulful eyes and a regal bearing. The scar on the right side of his face reminded her of a heated exchange in the snow as a planet burned around them.

** _He has come to you before, forced his way to you. Where is your Dark Prince now? At the time when you need him most, he abandons you to your fate..._ **

Rey’s eyes stung with unshed tears and her heart clenched painfully in her chest. The words she knew but never spoke. It led to a truth that she never wanted to admit because saying it out loud would make it real. Kylo Ren would never love her. This fact was proved to her when Kylo led her like a lamb to the slaughter, watching as she was tortured in front of him. She now knew that she delivered herself into the heart of enemy territory to die. 

The woman placed her cold hands on Rey’s waist, thin lips beside her ear, a warm breath sending chills up her spine.

** _He doesn't want you...Has never wanted you...You were nothing more than a common whore that night in your quarters. You let him touch you...Let him taste you..._ **

Rey no longer felt the slender feminine body behind her, a tall cold body taking its place. The leather covered hands that toyed with her waist were replaced with gnarled bony ones, caressing her shoulders while slowly moving up her neck. Rey knew that she should refuse this touch, and yet she was filled with a desire of knowing that this was where she was meant to be. It felt right to nuzzle her cheek into the frigid hand that was softly caressing her cheek.

** _I want you Rey. Succumb to the Darkness. You will be protected, safe, treasured and nothing with harm you again. It is your destiny...Your birthright_ **

The first step away from the light was the hardest and yet each additional one grew easier. Rey gasped when she felt power surround her, bathing her. She opened her eyes and found that the dark woman was now gone. Rey could see her reflection as she walked by an ice wall, the solid black clothing that once adorned her tormentor now covered her body. The thin hands now clutched her gloved ones, pulling her willing body to the unknown. The dark words spoken to her were dripping in honey, filling her heart. The older man in the golden robe that beckoned to her wanted her, and Rey felt powerful for the first time in her life.

** _I will give you what you want child...Freedom...Acceptance...It will all be yours..._ **

_Remember the light, Rey...The feel of the sun on your skin...The hope that you clutched onto as a child fighting to survive. The courage you show when facing your foes. The forgiveness you give to those unworthy of it. _

Rey gasped and opened her lids to look into a pair of deep brown eyes. The face of the one she loved and she quickly remembered her purpose. The grip on her hands tightened to the point of pain. The calm face that tried to tempt her now morphed into one of her nightmares. This wasn't what she wanted at all! The air in the cavern heated, the ice around her shattering while two sides battled inside her soul.

Kylo gasped the moment that he was thrown from her mind, his presence no longer accepted. Rey began to thrash in his arms uncontrollably, forcing him to clutch her jerking body to his chest. Kylo knew that she would bear the bruises of his fingers as they dug into her arms, feeling powerless as he struggled to pull her closer, his lips now against the crown of her head.

“You can do this sweetheart,” he spoke softly as the whimpers from her cold lips and the heated tears rolled down her face physically pained him, “I'm here Rey, I won't let you go…”

_...You are not alone, I promise…_

As she writhed on the floor, the words of reassurance filled Rey with the strength to endure the conflict that was tearing her soul apart. In her battle for self-preservation, Rey heard a scream of terror. The world was destroyed around her, the Force fighting her will, filling her with Darkness. The pain forced her to crawl towards the gleams, to protect the golden lights for they were hers and she vowed to guard them forever. Rey let out a grunt of pain as she reached to touch them, her trembling fingers meeting the ice wall.

Then there was peace. Rey opened her eyes to the feeling of two pairs of warm hands on her face. Happiness would be the reason that tears gathered in her eyes for she saved them, and they were finally together. A whimper drew their attention to the crumpled body of the woman dressed in black, deep cuts covered her body causing her to bleed out on the ground below. Rey clambered to her and pulled aside the cowl covering the woman’s face.

Rey wasn't surprised to look upon herself, bruises littering her face. This was the darkness inside her soul that she fought to suppress daily, never allowing herself to understand. The Darkness that housed her passion and drive. The one thing that she unknowingly tapped into, its strength kept her alive and fighting for her place in this life. Rey gently gathered the embodiment of the Darkness in her arms and held her body close to her chest, kissing her bruised forehead.

“I'm sorry, please forgive me. Stay with me because without you, I don’t know who I am.” The body in Rey's arms trembled, the feeling of the ends of her hair being gently tugged brought her attention to the embodiment of her Darkness. Their eyes met, Light and Dark, for the first time were in harmony. 

The light and dark mixed, causing Rey to shake her head, trying to remain awake. It was useless, her eyes slowly closing. The sound of childish laughter ringing in her ears. Rey helplessly watched as the body in her arms slowly began to dissolve into a fine black mist before circling her body and finally being absorbed in order to return where it belonged.

Rey drifted in between the realms of sleep and wake when she felt movement, feeling as if her body was being tightly held in a pair of strong arms. Rey closed her eyes as fatigue overtook her, both hands clutching two golden crystals, holding them protectively to her chest, a pair of youthful voices heard once more.

_Hello Rey._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Rey passes the Gathering and now has her Kyber crystals with the help of Kylo. What will she do with them now?
> 
> Authors Note: I’m on time this time! I want to see a whole bunch of reviews this time. Let me know your thoughts! 
> 
> Warning: Meh…Kylo has a couple lines of a sexy dream…because duh…

**Chapter 14**

Every muscle in Rey's body was clenched to the point pain, leaving her feeling like she was run over by the AT-AT that was once her _home_ on Jakku. A comforting yet modest fire was burning when she opened her groggy eyes, the embers crackling while the fire glowed in hues of reds, yellows, and oranges along the icy walls. Rey grunted in aggravation while struggling to sit up, her body feeling like it was crafted from durasteel.

_“Take your time getting up. You’ve been out for five days, just missed Chewie.” _The blue-hued Force ghost of Luke Skywalker sat across from her once again, with his arms crossed and an unsettling look on his face. For one of the few times in her life, Rey decided to trust someone's advice, taking her time to sit up. _“Well, at least one of you has some common sense. Ben refused to listen to me and passed out for another day. The boy was as stubborn as his mother.”_

Rey looked around before noticing that she was no longer deep within the Crystal Caves. “How did I get here?” Rey questioned, her voice raspy, looking down to her lap, the two golden-yellow Kyber crystals clutched in her hands. 

_  
“What is the last thing that you remember, Rey?”_ Luke Skywalker was the picture of calm as he questioned her, yet she could feel an underlying hesitance in his tone. He watched her shift both crystals to the safety of her lap before moving her hand up to cradle her forehead like she was trying to will away a headache.

“I know how weird this will sound but the last thing I remember is being carried...and warmth...a heartbeat.” Rey’s voice was unsure and confused while she tried to remember how she got out of the cave. 

_“Kylo Ren carried you out of the caves five days ago.” _Luke watched Rey physically jolt, her eyes widen while her mouth fell open. Rey shook her head, closed her mouth and turned her attention to the crystals now in her possession.

The conviction behind Luke's words made her feel an emotion that she couldn't quite put a name to. There would be a time and place for her to dwell on her feelings regarding the Darkside user that once again came to her aide. The golden crystals felt warm in her hands and her connection to the Force appeared to be stronger than ever before. 

“What do I do with them now?” Rey kept Luke in her field of vision while he slowly moved from the opposite side of the campfire to stand in front of her. Rey knew the crystals would one day power her lightsaber, however she didn’t know where to start. The ancient Jedi tomes that she _borrowed_ from Ahch-To provided no direction on how to complete her lightsaber and the only other living soul that knew how to craft the weapon was…

_“The first step in creating your lightsaber is for you to meditate on your Kyber crystals. A lightsaber is crafted by the Force through the will of its master. You must trust in the Force and it will not lead you astray, fluctuate even a little and the results will be catastrophic.” _

The blue glowing Force ghost of Luke Skywalker faded with the chilled breeze that swept through the cave. It was time for her to move on, her task on Ilum now complete. The Crystal Caves behind her no longer drew Rey to its presence, the call she heard was now silenced through the Force. It took Rey more time than usual to pack her supplies and begin her journey down the solid ice wall, the toll on her body was high. The loading ramp of the Falcon opened as soon as she was once again standing on solid ground. Chewbacca let out a loud roar of pride and lifted his arms up high when she presented the crystals for him to see. 

_“You finished your quest, my Rey-girl?”_ Chewbacca questioned with a series of grunts, pulling the shivering girl into his arms and holding her close. He could feel tears wetting his fur, choosing to pat her head with his large paws while he purred his praise once more. _“Are you ready to return home?”_

Rey turned around to take in the barren frozen planet once more before the loading ramp to the _Falcon _slowly closed, committing this moment to memory before looking up at the taller Wookie. 

“Yes Chewie, let’s go home.”

Rey felt _whole_ for the first time in her life, a foreign feeling that she never expected to experience. The presence of the Kyber crystals in her possession made this moment possible, filling an emptiness that she never paid attention to. The first task that the Force assigned her was completed. The second task, crafting her lightsaber, would be interesting...to put it lightly. Luke told her to meditate with her crystals, so that's where she would start.

After a shower...A long hot shower.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Kylo was washing away the traces of his day in the refresher connected to his quarters when he felt _her_ Force signature over the bond. The gentle caress against the bond took his breath away causing his knees to weaken, forcing him to grip at the durasteel wall in order to not fall. The warmth of Rey's shy touch caused a pleasure filled jolt through his body before settling in his groin. The sensation causing him to groan, the sound vibrating off the metal walls of the refresher.

_'What in the hell is Rey doing?’ _Kylo thought to himself while trying to recover from the new sensations that the bond gave him.

The refresher turned off with a simple voice command and as he stepped out of the stall, he wrapped a towel around his waist while towel drying his wavy ebony hair. He grabbed the black linen sleeping pants from his bed and slipped them on, leaving the tie undone and the waistband loose around his hips. It took a moment for him to realize two facts, one was that Rey was meditating, her presence deep within the Force. The other fact would be that she was most likely not meant to reach out to him at all.

_“For kriff's sake, she needs a teacher.” _Kylo shook his head, unsure what to expect from the novice Force user who happened to be his bond-mate.

Kylo didn’t have time to prepare before the bond fully opened, the strength of Rey’s Force signature brought him to his knees. The Force was urging him to allow her access to his memories in order to assist with the task set out before her. 

Did he trust her enough to accept her presence in his mind? 

The question caused him to pause. Rey has already ended her battle to save his soul, the soul of _Ben Solo_, to try and bring him back to the light. It had enraged him when Rey kept trying to turn him and yet now, all he wanted was another chance to prove his worth.

Rey was unknowingly reaching out to him; the thought softened his heart. The next innocent touch to the Force bond made him gasp, lean heavily on his desk and slowly lowering himself into a chair, the feeling was warm and gentle against the bond.

The answer became clear...Yes...He trusted her...

Kylo was firm in his decision, now if the infernal woman would stop whatever she was doing long enough for him to collect himself and make it across the room to his bed. The Dark voice in his head warned him with every heavy step that this was a foolish idea, helping the Lightside user craft her lightsaber. A weapon that could be used against him, but he was surprised that he didn't care. If Rey wouldn't let him protect her in the flesh, then he would help provide the means to protect herself. 

Kylo moved into a lotus position and accepted her call for help. The experience was completely different than the time that she forced her way into his head in the interrogation room on _Starkiller_, which felt like a lifetime ago. Rey reacted to his presence in the Force, unsure with how to proceed. Kylo guided her to what she needed of him, his knowledge on constructing a lightsaber. The first lightsaber that he built at the academy when his Kyber crystal was pure before he bleeds them for the weapon he now carries. 

It had been such a long time ago when he was on a journey to becoming a different man. The memories of a foolish boy with an inherently powerful connection to the Force. The comforting voice that was always in his head began to lead him down a path that frightened him, yet the thought of being alone at that time frightened him even more. In his early teens, he felt the Force in _everything_ to the point of madness. As a man, the _Jedi Killer_, he was trained to use that madness to fuel his powerful connection to the Cosmic Force. Rey soaked up the knowledge in his head like a sponge before hovering over his feelings of pride and peace once the silver lightsaber that he willed into existence was floating above him.

Kylo wanted her presence to stay once the exchange was finished. He was beckoning Rey to explore more of his memories. Kylo could feel Rey's curious nature through the bond, his scavenger was always ready to learn. All thoughts, good, bad, or indifferent, abruptly halted the second that he felt her acceptance.

Kylo forced himself to take a backseat while she explored, interfering only when Rey ventured too deep. Rey studied memories of his training, of lightsaber techniques, immediately feeling a rush of excitement from his inexperienced scavenger. It wasn't surprising when Rey veered away from his training in the force, his memories focused on the Darkside of the Force...and yet...she managed to find his minuscule training in Force Healing.

The fact made him chuckle, of course, she would find one of the few Lightside lessons he remembered. It was a foreign feeling to simply give to another being without wanting anything in return. The Darkness taught him to take what he wanted without remorse. 

Kylo could feel Rey's strength waning, her presence weakening rapidly. He knew that Rey would hurt herself if she didn't let go soon. Kylo knew how to get her to stop, he only wished that he could be with her when it happened to see her pretty cheeks flush.

The bond pulsed around them as Kylo slowly showed the clueless girl what he felt for her. Kylo quickly allowed her presence in one _his_ visions of them. There were many that he could choose from as she frequented most of his dreams at night. 

_Kylo groaned the moment he mounted Rey from behind. The whimpers coming from her lips slowed his hips against the pert butt in his hands. Rey began to lift her head, stopping when he pushed the back of her head towards the bed. Kylo reared back and sunk into her core, a loud groan forced from his lips. _

_What he wanted...what he needed...what he would take...what..._

Rey instantly recoiled from his desires, not in revulsion but embarrassment. Kylo admitted to himself that while he expected her reaction, it still stung to be rejected once more.

Why wouldn't she accept his offer? Why did she **_never_** accept his offer? Kylo knew that she was curious about him and yet she repeatedly misunderstood his attempts at connecting with her. Rey would know the depth of his feelings for her if she just_ listened_ to him.

_“Damn it this woman is frustrating.” _Kylo thought to himself with an exhausted sigh after their connection ended.

Later that evening, Kylo wondered what her weapon would look like once it was completed, praying to never be on the receiving end of it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Kylo gives Rey a “Force Lesson” on Lightsaber making and Rey sees something spicy in his head. What shall happen next?
> 
> Authors Note: So late this week. I will post 15 this morning and chapter 16 this evening to catch up! I’m sorry for being late. I was working on School projects and Thanksgiving. 
> 
> Warning: Not a darn thing

**Chapter 15**

Rey struggled to catch her breath as she was released from her meditative state. There was a rush of emotion that settled over her mind as she considered what just occurred through the Force bond. There would be a time and place to dwell on what she was feeling, but instead, she focused on what she just learned...what she now _knew._

Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, the _Jedi Killer_, taught her, his enemy, how to properly craft her lightsaber. The confusing Darkside user permitted her access into his mind and gave her the knowledge to make a weapon to, most likely, be used against _him _at some point in their future.

The truth behind the surprisingly helpful lessons from Kylo effectively calmed her spastic heart, nervous energy now settling in the pit of her stomach like a metal weight. Rey sat up straighter and stretched her arms high over her head, working out the kinks in her back as she unfolded her legs to rest out in front of her. Her home base was dark and chilly, causing Rey to wonder just how long she was deep in meditation. Simple voice command to the security system that protected the base told her what she needed to know, and her eyes widened immediately.

_Standard time 23 hundred hours 13 minutes and 35 seconds…_

_Ten hours!_ Rey internally squeaked in surprise. She has been meditating for the entire day, it's no wonder her body aches.

Rey took the new few moments to remember how the afternoon started by following Luke's meager attempt at a lesson. Rey began meditating, the Kyber crystals pulsed on the metal floor and immediately responded to her presence with a light that flickered with a playful vitality that comforted Rey. The three energies melded effortlessly together; their synergy felt _alive_ in the space within the Force where Rey’s spirit wandered.

The lively energy that Rey felt was unexpectedly replaced by a deep rich aura that was frightening while also being familiar. The Force was _free_ around her, unbound, unchecked and everywhere. Rey had no idea how she stumbled into this place and was startled when the Force began to gently nudge her towards something like it knew where she needed to go.

That's when she felt a thin wall of energy blocked her progression. Rey let her signature brush up against the barrier, like a gentle caress that she has only dreamed of gifting a lover. The first touches were timid and shy until she grew confident in her intent. Rey continued the innocent touch for a time until she received a powerful response, knowing that her call had been answered. The hazy curtain in front of her dropped and Rey was engulfed in the raw power of her bond-mate.

Kylo wasted no time in leading Rey through the scenes of his tumultuous life as his memories flipped by her stunned eyes like he was skipping the beginning of a book and rushing her towards the end. The story that Kylo was presenting began with the memories of a younger Ben Solo, possibly sixteen or seventeen, not yet a man but no longer a boy. _Apprentice Ben_ _Solo_ sat before her in his earthy brown and tan Jedi initiate robes with his eyes closed and long arms outstretched in front of him. Rey thought that the robes looked odd on him, admitting to herself that he pulled off black so much better. The lack of darkness on his face made Ben appear welcoming, a sharp contrast to the constant grimace and angst that was his constant expression.

The parts that crafted his lightsaber were floating around a blue pulsing Kyber crystal. The casted light from his Kyber crystal made the young man before her look ethereal, the Force freely moving around his meditative form. The warmth of the Light surrounding young Ben Solo brought tears of wonder to her eyes. It was pure and true, filling every bit of free space around him.

Rey mimicked his pose perfectly and watched the lightsaber assemble itself before her eyes as his teeth began nibbling his lower lip in concentration. It should be a sin for any man to be as handsome as Ben Solo, even in his awkward teenage years. Rey could see the beginning of the expertly toned and gorgeous body that plagued her dreams, the muscles in his arms were defined and his shoulders were broad. Rey remembered his soulful expression when he took his helmet off for the first time and the youthful face in front of her didn't carry any of the pain of his impending future. 

A resounding _click_ broke Rey's unapologetic inspection of him. Ben’s lightsaber was completed, his eyes opening slowly to see the weapon he created. His expression held so much pride over the saber that would become an extension of himself, protecting him from those who would seek to destroy his Light...a weapon that would be used to protect himself from his uncle...a weapon that would be used to kill his father...

The lesson was over before she knew it, and yet the bond between them remained active. She found that she couldn't move from her seated position, watching Ben slowly stand and activate his weapon for the first time. Ben turned from her and walked a few steps away; the blue beam of light followed his strong movements. The brown robes that Ben wore began to slowly fade away to reveal the familiar black robes Kylo was known for, his brightly blue lightsaber that hummed beautifully was now a scarlet red crossguard that crackled with his rage. This was the man he would become, the monster that she couldn’t resist loving.

Rey was unaware that Kylo was attempting to draw her further into his memories, so lost in her thoughts as she took in every detail of the man with his back still to her. Kylo continued gently prodding the bond between them, finally grabbing her attention in his desire to show her something, but she refused to take that step.

_Or could she?_

Without much hesitation, Rey took the first timid steps towards the path that Kylo was beckoning her down. She looked around hesitantly into the darkness that reminded her of the _Gathering_ that she completed in the caves of Ilum. It didn’t surprise her at all when an uneasy excitement began to take over her thoughts, wondering what Kylo had in store for her and how to possibly protect her heart if needed. 

A fog lifted and there he was once again, ready to share the next chapter in the tale. While Kylo Ren wasn't a graceful fighter, his attacks could only be described as powerful. Rey took in all of his daily training with wide eyes, her mouth falling open the moment that Kylo began to shed the terrifying helmet and layers of heavy clothing that he wore daily. Kylo would train aboard the _Finalizer_ with what must have been the fabled Knights of Ren, the room looking purely metallic with the exception of the bright red training pad below their feet.

_What it is with this man and taking off his clothes?_ Rey thought to herself while shamelessly watching the show. Kylo Ren’s presence on board the _Finalizer _melted away before her eyes and she was once again sharing a moment in Ben Solo’s past.

Grandmaster Luke Skywalker prowled through the rows of his students, providing direction when needed, pausing when he reached Ben. There was only unfocused power in his movements but no finesse or skill. Ben was forcing his movements, Rey felt that during this time, that he was losing the battle with the Darkside, a fact that was not lost to Luke. It didn't take long for Ben to become frustrated, his form correcting itself before a sharp thwack of the training sword that Luke held hitting Ben’s knuckles could be heard.

Ben began to train in secret, allowing the natural feeling of the Darkside of the Force to flow through his movements. The power that Ben wielded at this moment wasn't evil, it was simply different. A difference that Luke would begin to notice, leading up to the moment everything changed, when a weak old man trusted his _visions_ over trusting the heart of his nephew. The betrayal and hurt that Kylo felt at that moment broke her heart as the scene changed to stormy night, the screams of dying students rang through the air as the Jedi Academy fell. Rey retreated from the scene, moving to leave when she felt a thin sliver of Light struggling in a sea of darkness. 

A new chapter began with Kylo leading his Knights into battle yet again, his _friends_ that followed him to Snoke, into the Darkness, now followed him into war. The battle that raged around her was ignored, Rey was searching for one man and in the rain, she found him. Kylo Ren was on his knees, hovering over an unidentified person, his posture exhausted but focused while his large ungloved hands moved towards the flayed skin that covered a smaller body clothed in similar black robes and a black metal helmet that was different than Kylo’s. After a few moments, his hands begin to glow a bright green. The skin under his touch began to knit itself together. Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo, was Force healing another, saving a life. Rey was the sole witness to this moment of pure Light in his life and it was beautiful.

Rey moved away from this memory, feeling like she was intruding on a private moment, aware that she was the only person alive to have witnessed his act of kindness even after his fall to the Darkside. So, she began to tentatively move towards the next set of memories, only to be abruptly halted by a wave of heat. There was no gentle leading as Rey was pulled towards the heat that she felt bubbling just under her skin. 

Rey’s vision blurred before clearing to see the petite body of a woman on her hand and knees, a brute of a man kneeled behind her, his strong thighs flush against her backside. Rey could feel her cheeks warm before quickly turning her head from the scene. The woman was groaning in pleasure for her lover who answered with a powerful thrust, jolting her body forward.

Confused, embarrassed, and on the edge of anger, Rey moved away from the scene that Kylo felt was important for her to see, irritated and heartbroken. Why would he chose to show her this memory...of him and another wom…

_Rey_…

The gruff and pleasure filled word that fell from his lips was all that it took for Rey to jolt out of meditation with a lusty cry of surprise, leaving her to question, _'What in the seven stars was that?’_

It didn't help matters that she could feel Kylo’s pleasure the moment that the lusty cry left her lips over the bond. Rey shook out her head, trying to clear the scene from her mind, focusing on what the frustrating man taught her. The train of thought made her pause, Kylo helped her and asked for nothing in return. Yet it was life on Jakku that trained her well, she never got something for nothing and men like Kylo Ren never did anything that wouldn't benefit him in the long run.

So, what did Kylo's actions mean for her? Why would he do this? As his enemy in this war, there was no strategic asset in providing her with the means to arm herself. Rey felt that she was overlooking something important but couldn't figure out what she was missing.

So, Rey did what she does best, she moves forward knowing that Kylo would clue her in on what he wanted, sooner or later. In his memories, Ben searched for a place to build his lightsaber that filled him with peace and the only place that Rey felt at peace in the bustle of her home was her workshop. 

The base looked brand new which told her that Rose had been extremely busy these last two weeks. The cracked solar panels were repaired, the leaking water pipes from the mountain-fed lake were rebuilt, and the central ventilation system was now properly connected to the base.

Rose built shelves in all the rooms, fixed Rey’s bed, and purchased plenty of supplies. However what perplexed Rey the most was the opened wooden crate in the middle of her updated workshop.

_“Just a few things I picked up here and there,”_ Rose reassured her in that innocent voice that spoke of mischief.

Rey didn't want to know how Rose got her hands on Mandalorian Iron, let alone Phrik for that matter, for both, were extremely rare metals, but the crate was also stuffed with commonly found bolts and sockets, switches, and energizers. Rey was positive that everything she needed to construct her lightsaber would be found in the crate, the exceptions, of course, being her Kyber crystals.

Rey felt the active energy in her workshop, the presence brought a content smile to her face. It was a certainty that she wasn't at peace when life was calm.

It took Rey hours to unpack the crate, spreading the contents on the floor around her and when the task was complete she sat with her back to the now empty crate, legs crisscrossed, and arms on her knees with both palms up just as she saw Ben do. The golden Kyber crystals on the floor in front of her gave off giddy energy while waiting for her to begin.

“Here goes nothing.” Rey struggled to remain calm, her head shaking to dispel any thoughts of doubt. “I can do this.” Rey took a deep breath, closed her eyes and connected to the Force. 

The Force moved through the room like currents of water which should have frightened her since the last time that Rey experienced this feeling of being unsuspectedly submerged was when she was pulled into the dark waters on Ahch-To. This instance, however, was peaceful and allowed Rey to feel the strength of the living Force that existed in the base, the animals, the plants, and trees. 

They were all a part of the power of the Force, the sensations deepened when she tapped into something much more concentrated for the second time today. The first instance being with Kylo as her guide. Rey shivered when she thought about how that journey ended, the sound of her name...

Rey shook her head and the outside world was subdued while she entered a resonant meditative state, her presence burrowing into the Force. A blueprint of sorts was in her head, like a forgotten memory that has been archived for all time. 

An imposing figure now stood before her, draped in ivory and tan hooded robes that fell to the floor and parted in the front. A pair of tan leggings were tucked into deep brown leather boots. A thick brown leather belt held the tabard together and was accented with many multi-colored keys that dangled from the belt. The keys were all narrow with intricate key wards and looked like nothing she had ever seen before. Their odd shapes made her wonder what the keys opened and why they were so heavily guarded.

Rey intuitively knew that the outfit was meant to blend with the wearer's surroundings rather than stand out except for the ornate ivory and gold mask that adorned the bearers face. The mask only left two slits for the eyes and was as imposing as it was beautiful. One tan leather gloved hand slowly extended towards her, an unlit saber hilt within its grip. The hand opened palm up, and Rey stared at the lightsaber in awe moments before two golden beams were activated. The figure in front of her quickly withdrew the arm holding the weapon, moving it towards their side and stood to attention.

_Like a guard awaiting orders…_

The metal pieces around her spun and snapped together to create a housing for her Kyber crystals, a deviation from Ben’s lightsaber was that her weapon would have two chambers instead of one. There were clicks and clanks from the pieces of metal grinding together and electronics sparking, built to activate the lightsaber. The sound threatened to distract her as her head tilted towards the noises, stopping at the last moment before losing her concentration.

The handle was assembled next, the slats of Mandalorian Iron would provide the casing, it's strength could not be matched and yet wasn't flashy like durasteel. The completed parts hovered as Rey directed them to assemble using the power of the Force. 

Rey felt the warmth of her Kyber crystals as they were tucked away safely in their casings on opposite ends of the newly constructed staff. The metal body of the staff felt cool in her hands, yet she could also feel the warmth of the crystals pleading to be ignited for the first time. 

Leaving the Force once again was physically grating when she returned to her body, her vision cleared to see the completed saberstaff floating at eye level. She slowly reached with outstretched fingers and pulled back a couple times before finally grasping the cold black steel weapon. It felt right in her hands when she held it out in front of her and slowly stood on tingling legs. 

The press of the button on the side of the cylinder lit the saber for the first time, two golden beams discharged from both ends of the handle. A childlike smile appeared on her face while she stared at what she made in wonder before mumbling to herself.

“Wow.”

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

The need to train quickly took over Rey ’s thoughts from the moment that she completed her weapon. Lately, the only time that she truly felt balanced was when her yellow dual-bladed saberstaff was in her hands. The knowledge that Kylo passed on taught her the forms that he learned under both Masters and Rey developed a training regimen using them. The first week that she began was brutal, every muscle in her body screamed in agony due to her new and calm lifestyle. Yet with every passing day, Rey was becoming stronger, faster, and focused. It was towards the end of the first week that she began to feel..._off_.

_Guilty_

Rey's stomach knotted every time that she looked at the weapon, feeling despondent as she trained. Her soul yearned for her to do something, yet the Force offered no clues. In the middle of her bath one night, she finally listened to the naturally neutral energy.

It didn’t surprise her in the least that her conflicted feelings pointed to Kylo. The Darkside user that frustrated her beyond belief gave her the means to protect herself and those that she loved. He opened his mind to her, knowing the memories that he held dear could have been taken, and yet asked for nothing in return. The bond between them has been silent, not blocked, just missing for two weeks since the night that he helped her.

Why did he do it? Why would he put himself at risk and ask for nothing in return? What did he get out of what happened between them? The whole experience felt...intimate...like something that you would save to share with someone important.

_Someone that wasn't her._

Rey shook her head, dispelling the dark thoughts and began to plan. While she can't understand why Kylo did it, the fact was that he did it. The ball was now in her court and Rey begrudgingly accepted that she was indebted to her bond-mate. It was a debt that she intended to repay, which brought her to this moment in time.

Rey was ranting to herself while she paced the length of the row between the newly planted soy and lilac crops and a thoroughly unimpressed bovine she named 'Mei’ looked on with apathetic disinterest

“You’ve got this,” Rey whispered to herself. “You can do this. You delivered yourself to the flagship of the First Order naively and barely trained, Rey.” She briefly paused before resuming her pacing the length of the greenhouse, her arms flailing as she attempted to pump herself up. “This will be a piece of cake, right?”

Rey stopped, turned, and looked for assurance from her present company but all she received was a bored and deep moo from Mei, effectively dismissing her by turning away to resume eating. “Well, kriff to you too.”

The foolish plan Rey conjured came to fruition because she had no other plan. The problem Rey faced was how to express her gratitude while protecting her location. The last thing she needed was for Kylo Ren to show up at her doorstep.

Rey had a hunch that the Supreme Leader didn't need handcrafted soy soaps or lotions, nor did he need to be fed with the harvest from her garden. While she had a small savings of credits to purchase a gift for him, the idea felt wrong and meeting him in person was out of the question.

_Or was it?_ Her mind ghosted by the idea; a fleeting heat rose in her chest when Rey's thoughts wondered to the sound of Kylo's deep voice groaning her name.

As she paced the empty halls of the base, the bond between them began to pulse on its own accord, as if the Force was quickly making the decision for her.

“This is by far the stupidest idea that I have ever had.” Rey sighed, pausing in order to ensure that she wouldn't walk straight into him once the link was bridged. “Ok, here we go,” Rey whispered to herself. “In and out. Just tell him _'Thank you’_ and leave before you say something extremely stupid. Simple enough.”

Kylo was in the process of beginning to undress in his quarters aboard the _Finalizer_ when he felt a prickle in his mind, answering Rey's summons immediately. Rey could feel the heat that his body exuded, knowing the moment that Kylo materialized behind her while internally rehearsing her speech once more. She breathed in deeply before slowly turning to face him. Kylo was still dressed in his heavy black robes, the wool hooded cloak was up, and Rey felt unease when she sadly took in the ghastly helmet that shielded his face from her view.

“Umm, do you have a moment? I'd like to talk to you.” Rey felt like a child standing in front of him, nerves threatening to make her sick. “Please.”

The silence was unnerving to the point that Rey was about to call off this harebrained idea of hers, resolved that the man would have to settle for a generic gift basket of lotions and soaps. The hollow clicks of his mask releasing drew her attention back to him. Kylo slowly took off the helmet that she hated and tilted his head to look at her.

_“You want to what?” _Kylo questioned, his voice hesitant but also curious. If he was going to be honest, the expectation of a fight was still in the forefront of his thoughts. It didn't matter how much power he had; Rey made him lose all sense. Kylo could feel the nervous energy in the woman in front of him while she looked everywhere except at him. _“Rey, are you alright?”_

Kylo moved quickly when she didn't reply, his dark robes trailing behind him as he strode to his bond-mate. Kylo laid his helmet on a table that he passed, freeing his hands and he immediately began searching for any source of injury on her body before hooking a finger under her chin, tilting it up to inspect her throat.

Rey couldn't stop her treacherous body from trembling while he checked her over for any outward injuries. Kylo was thoroughly looking over her throat the moment that her mind and mouth started working together again. “Thank you, Kylo.”

The name from her lips caused him to internally cringe as the rest of her words slowly sunk in. It was now Kylo's turn to pause, his cool fingers still firmly pressed under her chin. “_You want to thank me?”_

Meeting his concerned, confused, but heated stare was out of the question, so Rey chose to look off to the side at the metal walls of the base. She couldn't stop herself from nibbling her bottom lip while nervously fiddling with the skirt of the maroon cotton dress that she wore. She felt awkward and uncomfortable, cursing herself for feeling vulnerable in front of him again.

“Yes, and I'd like to apologize for judging you too...harshly...even though you can be..._difficult_...I sho…” Rey stammered, halting the moment she heard a deep laugh come from his chest. The sound was foreign, rich, yet calming, and prompted her to finally look up at him.

_“Difficult? I hate to say it sweetheart but that is the pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?” _ Rey bristled and her cheeks flushed before she quickly dropped her head and started to turn away from him in embarrassment. Kylo immediately grabbed her upper arms, reacting out of fear of Rey leaving, jerking her close to his body. _“Don’t leave...please...”_

“If you'd stop being an ass, you'd see that I'm trying to apologize…” Rey quipped back while scowling at him and attempting to pull her arms out of his tight grip.

_“Which you must not do often, judging from your delivery.”_ Kylo teased her with a grin while pulling her resistant body closer, ducking his head to try and see the pink flush on her cheeks again. Kylo knew that he was keeping Rey at arm's length, a self-preservation move because the girl made him nervous.

“Now who’s the pot and the kettle?” Rey quipped back knowing that this conversation was going nowhere fast, so she dove in headfirst and began to recite what she came to say. “I appreciate what you did to help me earlier. I’m not sure why you would teach me how to create a lightsaber, knowing that it could be used…”

Kylo interrupted her before she could finish her sentence, _“I knew the risks when I carried you from the caves of Ilum and before I opened my memories to you,” _he watched Rey’s eyes widen before continuing, “_and I refuse to leave you unprotected.”_

“What about the rest of what I saw? Why did you let me in? Why those memories” Rey pleaded for insight, “Help me understand, please.”

_“When you look at me...when I cross your mind,” Kylo_ took a deep breath and reigned in the anxiety he felt by being open to her. _“I don’t want you to see me as a monster, as an evil you must strike down.”_

A shrill noise drew their attention, both heads turning to look towards the origin of the disruption. “Kylo...was that you or…”

_“...Me?”_

Rey saw the hesitation in Kylo’s eyes and knew that it was time to wrap up this bond. Rey wasn’t sure how to end this conversation since their previous meetings ended with crossed lightsabers or blaster fire. Kylo quickly pulled her startled body into his arms, holding her tightly to his chest.

Kylo looked down into her surprised eyes before kissing her forehead lightly, smirking when he pulled away and saw those rosy cheeks, _“You’re welcome.”_

Rey found herself alone, standing in the cold and echoing halls of her home as the Force released the two of them. Rey lifted her trembling hands to her flushed cheeks and took a deep breath, trying to calm her spastic nerves.

_“Yeah,” _Rey sarcastically thought to herself as she slowly moved towards her showers, desperately needing relief for her heated skin, “_hands down the stupidest idea that I have ever had.”_


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Rey makes her lightsaber and places a long-distance call to say, “Thank you” to a confused Supreme Leader.
> 
> Authors Note: And I am caught up! Have a super week.
> 
> Warning: Ok I haven’t had a warning in a while, but we have a good bit of violence towards a youngling before Rey loses her shit and goes all “Kylo”. The tags were put there for a reason and you have been warned.

**Chapter 16**

_“By the Maker woman, why are you so infuriating?”_

Rey would never admit to another living soul that Kylo Ren could be surprisingly pleasant company at times. Yes, Kylo was still the “enemy” but there were times when she found herself pretending that he was more to her...that _they_ were more to each other.

Rey was bewildered that she wanted to tell Kylo her location in the off chance that he would come to her. The deserted child inside Rey latched onto her bond-mate, the only person that as of recently made her life a little less lonely. She knew that it was foolish of her to start down this path again, the same one that delivered her to Kylo Ren aboard the _Supremacy._

The pain of betrayal she felt when the shackles were placed on her wrists before being taken before Snoke, then Ben's apparent redemption as he cut down his Master to save her life, and the unorthodox and borderline insulting proposal Kylo Ren delivered after they saved each other. The newly appointed Supreme Leader stared longingly at the previously occupied throne, desired it like she wanted him to desire her. The pain of the entire debacle that was still so raw and Kylo's later invasion of her weakened mind while seducing her did nothing to ease her distrust for him. 

If Rey were to give in, to let her guard down, Rey knew that by trusting Kylo, making herself vulnerable before him, she would be betrayed again as soon as the _Supreme Leader_ took what he wanted from her. In the past, Kylo has proven that he only wanted to take from her, be it sex, power, revenge...and she knew he would always leave her with a shattered heart and splintered soul...

_They always left her in the end..._

Yet even with this realization, Rey felt it was becoming increasingly harder to maintain the growing emotions of love, lust, home… and yet when the two of them bickered like an old married couple, which they were doing at this moment...Rey was helpless but to fall deeper in love with him.

In all honesty, Rey had no clue why Kylo was upset because every time his wavy black hair fell in his eyes, her mind went to La-La land. Rey would forget how to speak, only thinking of how much she wanted to move the hair from his face and tucking it behind one of his pronounced ears. She would find herself picturing a child with the same ears and a home filled with love...

_“Are you even listening to me?”_ Kylo bellowed, capturing her attention immediately. The man in question wore a pair of black loose-fitting pants and a matching sleeveless top. The way that the shirt stretched across his broad chest showed Rey _exactly_ what she denied herself in the throne room.

The irritating but oddly gorgeous man in front of her was composed of pure muscle, from his broad shoulders down to his thick and sturdy legs. After the initial surprise that they had last week when both realized that they could now hear the other surroundings, the two began to test the strength of the bond. Kylo was standing in his quarters, the blankets visibly ruffled on the bed behind him. A dark thought crossed her mind when she wondered_ who_ was warming his bed at night, a man like Kylo Ren would have no shortage of lovers, she was sure. He was beautiful and she denied his hand but to picture him with another woman...

_“Don't cry...Rey...please I'm…” _Rey shook her head, realizing that some uncontrolled emotion had caused tears to gather in her hazel eyes. She wiped her burning eyes furiously, willing the tears to stop. The fact was that they both made their choices and Rey had no right to be upset if and when he found comfort in the arms of another.

Rey allowed herself a moment to take in his concerned deep brown eyes that were gazing intently into hers. This would be the third time they connected since her embarrassing attempt at expressing her gratitude.

The visits with him forced Rey to finally come to terms with a fact that made her heart clench painfully. That the emptiness that kept her awake most nights was loneliness. On Jakku there was no time to be lonely if you stopped, you died. If you showed weakness, you died. The hopeless feeling of loneliness didn't bother her then, but now all that has changed. Rey built herself a family in Chewbacca, Rose, Finn, and Poe. She had Leia, her mother, and she had...on Lothal made _friends_. 

Rey drew herself out of her thoughts to meet his gaze and in his deep gaze, she found what she was missing. His presence in the Force was as red as an out of control flame, it was strong and passionate. Kylo’s soul was bright, even while being submerged in darkness, it was otherworldly...magical even. The image of his rumpled sheets burned her eyes, tears beginning to gather. “I have to go...goodnight Kylo.”

Rey ended the bond before he could speak and moved towards the large windows of the greenhouse centered in the base and watched the white clouds as they leisurely drifted in the blue sky. Would there ever be someone that she could call her own? If she wasn't good enough for Kylo Ren, she wondered if there was someone in this galaxy waiting for her? 

She may be a dirty scavenger that was sold for nothing, perhaps even a little embarrassing in most social situations, but Rey has proven that she could provide for herself, a future mate...their children. As Rey looked around her home, she knew that she had so much to offer another and she was desperate to share it with someone who would love her, this nobody that has grown to be a successful woman all on her own.

But the loneliness was always there, and it made her question if she was doomed to remain alone forever.

The answer would come to her almost a fortnight later, as a sensation of warmth started to pulse deep in her gut. Rey ignored the call at first, but the Force was persistent, steadily intensifying the feeling with each passing hour, until it peaked early one morning as she prepared to go to Capital City for the markets. The once glowing embers had grown to consume her in a roaring blaze.

_There was something waiting for her..._

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rey loved to barter.

There were no negotiations on Jakku, Niima Outpost existed solely at the mercy of scum such as Unkar Plutt. The end all be all, his price was the price. The residents ate or starved on his whims. 

There was no haggling on Takodana, Maz Kanata while appearing fair and just was a space pirate so she expected to be paid for with a set price. Rey met Maz once but could tell that it was not wise to cross the small woman.

There was no compromise while she was in the Resistance, and the villages that helped aide them used credits for goods and services. The villages didn't want anything from the Resistance, and most believed that the First Order would destroy them if they helped the floundering group of rebels.

Rey learned quickly that this was not the case in Tangletown. It is true that the credits flowed freely but if you had something valuable to offer, you could barter for just about anything. It is where she met Mavis, a middle-aged human woman with an iron heart. The woman was tough on Rey from the beginning, choosing to attempt to swindle her, unknowing of the environment that Rey was raised in. It took weeks but Rey finally wore Mavis down and now the woman could safely be called a mentor and friend. A friend that she made all on her own, away from the hardships of the war. 

Mavis wanted her friendship...and the soaps and lotions she made...but mostly her friendship.

There was something calling her to Tangletown that day. Rey could feel it in her bones, flutter through the Force just like butterfly wings. The flutter made Rey feel warm, comfortable, and safe. Rey was mid-argument with Mavis when she felt the familiar sensation, however this time it laid heavy on her soul.

The Force called her into action, ordering her to move, and giving her no choice but to obey. The experience was jarring as she was led down dark streets, her feet and legs moving on their own accord, until finding what she was being pushed towards.

The sight horrified her while filling her with a rage that she has never felt before. A fair-haired boy, no older than seven, in loose-fitting tan clothes was bent over a table. The whip of the slave master struck the poor boy repeatedly while the child screamed out in pain, his thin arms held down by two other burly men.

_Five years old...bulbous fingers backhanding her cheek, her head snapped to the side, “You dare come to me with this rubbish girl…”_

Rey's shoulder twinged as a wave of ice-cold tendrils of Darkness began to descend into her normally warm heart. Her eyes narrowed as she watched the devil of a man torture the boy, glancing at his two accomplices.

_Twelve years old...Two large men holding down her spread arms...bent over a metal table...five lashes...ten lashes...the burn of cheap whiskey on deep wounds…_

Rey was surprised to hear an inhuman snarl originate from her chest, her feet sluggishly moving closer to the boy. The slave master’s body now in her sights. The boy was screaming so loud that no one heard the stone walls beside Rey begin to crack under the pressure of the Darkside of the Force. 

_Fifteen years old...Hands on developing curves…” Twenty portions if you give it up, desert rat”...A growl of rage...twenty lashes…thirty..._

_Not even one-quarter portion...Desert Rat..._

The memories cleared and when Rey came to, she was standing in an alley while the boy cried, now held by the collar of his ruined clothes. Blood dripped to the ground while she could see the rocks around him tremble, Rey's eyes widened in realization.

Rey could feel the boy in the Force, his pained screams breaking her heart. The Darkside of the Force blanketed her despair, magnifying her hateful thoughts. Rey quickly took the last steps towards the bloody scene, her strong hand stopping the next strike from falling on the child's already mangled back.

“I will rip out your still beating heart if you strike this child again,” Rey growled at the disgusting man, shocked at the depth of her threat. The slaver’s eyes lewdly trailed her body before settling once more on her face. Rey felt dirty at the lustful arrogance that settled in his eyes. 

“The boy is my property and I will do what I wish with him!” The slaver snarled while trying to shake off her tight grip. The sound of moans of torment from the boy was mixed with the sounds of agony behind her. Rey turned her head to the left, her eyes widened at the sight of a metal cage with slaves, old and young alike, all starved and beaten.

“I will purchase him then,” Rey replied, her grip still on his wrist. “500 credits.”

“5000 credits, I know what he is, you rabid bitch. I can get more for him from the Supreme Leader. I've heard that he _enjoys_ Force-sensitive children.”

Yes, Rey remembered that alright, Kylo Ren the Jedi Killer. Kylo Ren was a great many things, but he would never use a child as this filthy slaver suggested. To infer that Kylo would do _that_ to this innocent boy was a disservice to his character and that was unforgivable. She didn't have time to dwell over _why_ she was so protective of his character because the slaver was already haggling with her over the price of the boy until Rey was completely over it. In a voice filled with death, she looked up at him.

“500 credits,” Rey seethed, and smirked when his mouth hung open in a scream when her other hand surged to his crotch and began to crush his disgustingly hard cock, “and I may allow you to keep your dirty cock attached to your wretched body, you filthy slave trader.”

The man groaned in agony before agreeing then hitting the dirt while crying and clutching his injured genitals in pain. Rey's hands were shaking as she reached for the thankfully unconscious boy, gently moving him to drape over her heaving shoulder. The boney ribs of a starved child dug into her back and she hated the man more. Rey took three steps before the sound of blasters firing caused her to turn, arm outstretched.

Three blue bolts hovered in the air, frozen as she gently moved the boy to the ground. Rey was further moving towards the Darkness as she moved to stand in front of the three men. “See, you had to go and do a stupid thing like that.” Rey crooned; a flick of her wrist brought the men around to face the bolts. The sound of a mechanical click drew her attention to another slave, opening a metal door behind them. It filled Rey with a power that she's never felt too slowly walk to stand close enough to purr softly in the frightened man's ear. “Your slaves are free, and no one will remember that you even existed.”

Rey drew away from the filth and moved to pick the boy back up before walking away from the scene. She could feel the horror the men were feeling through the Force as they faced their deaths while they cried, praying to any deity that could hear them. The acidic smell of urine wafted in her direction, making her smile.

“Don't pray to your deity’s slavers,” Rey spoke lowly. “Pray to me.”

The men screamed for mercy, the sounds echoing through the dark alley. It felt like Rey could feel everything at this moment through the Force. The hard-graveled ground she walked on, the ribs of the child, his labored breathing...she _hated_ them. The blaster bolts were released from the Force, immediately silencing the screams.

_This child was hers to protect._

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Alain regained consciousness to see an angel with kind hazel eyes watching him, but these eyes were laced with sadness. The soft fabric that he was laying on was foreign, having been used to sleeping on the cold ground, as he tried to focus on the angel. His back was exposed to the cold air in the room and it caused him to shiver. “I’m sorry you're cold but I have to get to your back.” The woman apologized in a soft voice. “I'm going to put you to sleep so that I can tend to your injuries.”

“Name?” Alain barely heard his voice, the question bringing a smile to the angel's pretty face.

“Rey, and yours?” She said with warmth in her voice.

“Alain.” 

The last thing that he heard was Rey telling him that he would be alright. That she would care for him, protect him. For the first time in his life, he believed it.

Hours later Rey finished with the child, stumbled from the medical bay, and moved quickly to her room. The boy, Alain, would remain thankfully unconscious due to a mix of painkillers and Force sleep. Rey stood in the doorway of her room and outstretched her hand to call her saberstaff. The rain was falling in sheets outside the base, the drops causing sparks on Rey's now lit saberstaff.

Rey started to pace like a caged wild animal, her lungs clenching, close to hyperventilating. The state of her emotions wasn't faring any better. The image of Alain's malnourished body being tortured, and the state of his injuries began to fester in her mind. All of the scenes blended to form a massive ball of scarlet and she was burning with hate.

Being heard over the storm, Rey bellowed a primal roar that emanated deeply within her chest, throat burning while gripping the durasteel hilt so tightly that the metallic ridges of the weapon were cutting into her palms. 

The attack came swiftly upon the wrecked Imperial transport to her left, dual golden beams began hacking at the craft, the blades against the metal screaming with every strike. Rey hacked at the ship until mental and emotional fatigue overtook her and the sabers dropped from her open bleeding hands on the muddy ground. The rain had lessened during her meltdown and her wet hair was down, singing the ends where it fell in her sabers’ path. Rey would have to cut it once this was all over. Kylo would have been proud of the tantrum and the damage caused to the husk of the ship that took the full brunt of her wrath.

The tears wouldn't stop falling from her eyes while remembering the feel of the child's soft but bloodied skin as she stitched the lacerations closed. It took Rey an hour to get the durasteel cuffs off the boy’s fragile wrists. The child was dangerously malnourished and dehydrated. It took her another two hours and 87 stitches to treat his back. Rey whimpered while she sewed the child's flayed skin together, knowing that he would feel the deeper wounds until the day he died. There was no amount of Force healing that would heal the nerve damage and memories of his treatment.

Rey wanted to hunt down every being that ever laid their hands on the poor boy. It was a deadly feeling that took over her thoughts, leading Rey to a place in her soul that was black and cold. Rey wants revenge, to scalp their skin as a gift to present to him and to hack them to pieces like the ship she just laid to waste, like what was done to Alain. Her hands shook as she fell to her knees and screamed until her throat hurt.

“I've had enough!” Rey hollered to the Force in the dark, “I know you can hear me you heartless...creature!”

_“Not a creature.”_

Rey took a sharp breath, slowly stood and turned to see the same twins from the caves of Ilum. They were watching her, appraising her with bored expressions. They weren’t glowing and filled with childlike mischief as before, this time the energy around them was heavy but pure. Rey instinctively knew that the Force was not impressed now.

“First you awaken the Force in me…” Rey began to rant.

_“The catalyst for your awakening was Kylo Ren.” _

“Then you guide me here, leaving me alone once again, and turn me into farmer Bill with nothing more than a judgmental cow for company!” Rey continued while flailing her arms and pointing to the base beside them.

_“It was you who fled.”_

“You take over my dreams for weeks! Leaving me shit clues to a decrepit Jedi Temple!” The indifference from the girls was quickly enraging Rey further.

_“It was you who yearned for a Lightsaber.”_

"That _treat_ of an experience was followed by the most psychotic mindfuck ever created on a barren ice planet in the middle of nowhere!” Rey was feeling light-headed yet continued to rant.

_“A rite of passage for all who came before you. Why would you be exempt?”_

“Let's not forget Kylo Ren or Ben Solo, whoever the hell he feels like being, about this bond you did to us…” Rey was unexpectedly cut off mid-rant, the twins watching her.

_“Your mate displeases you?"_

“No! Yes!” Rey stuttered, her cheeks heating, “That's not the point! What am I supposed to do with him?” 

_"He is your guide to knowledge within the Force. He is a most willing teacher.”_

Rey could feel the fight in her body fizzling out quickly. The Force was essentially telling her that she was acting like a spoiled child, that her complaints are trivial compared to the big picture.

“What is expected of me, regarding the child?” Rey asked with a sigh, turning away from them and staring into the darkness.

_“The boy is now yours, do as you will with him.”_

Rey saw red at the flippant statement one of the twins made, striding towards them with clenched fists. “How dare you? That boy is not a thing to be owned!”

“_You're lack of indifference is pleasing. You clearly care for the boy.” _The girl on the left spoke in a low voice, looking at her twin to continue.

_“Train him. Teach him. Love him for you are his and...he will be yours.”_

Rey's eyes widened and her breath hitched. The heaviness of what the Force is expecting from her settles in her heart. Rey does the one thing she always does when backed into a corner, she bared her teeth and fights.

“What have I ever done to you? Why do you torment me? I've never wanted any of this and yet you keep breaking me! You bond me with a man who cares for nothing! You give me powers and no way to learn how to use them, hone them! You push Ben and me together only to tear us apart! Why can't you leave me be?” Rey knew she was ranting like a crazy woman in the night, but she couldn't stop. “All you have done is take from me!”

_“Your decisions are your own, Rey of Jakku.” _

This was how Kylo Ren found her that evening, ranting to two glowing young girls with bored faces. Kylo couldn't make out the issue but from the tears in her eyes, he knew it was important to Rey. He cautiously moved to her side with his hands raised in a non-threatening manner. Rey's cheeks were tear-stained, her eyes puffy and red from crying while her chest heaved in exertion. Kylo took in the mangled heap of metal and immediately started searching what he could see of Rey's body for any outer injuries.

He would check her over better once he calmed her down and before she hurt herself. Rey was screaming at her audience while she paced, the conversation lost to him. Rey looked like some wild thing, with long soaked hair, a cotton dress that stuck to her slender body and muscular arms waving in the air. The twins would answer in short sentences that were agitating Rey further, her pretty cheeks flushing and darkening with every word.

Rey turned to face him, cheeks pink and slightly out of breath, “And what the hell do you want you self-centered son of a…”

The only thing that came to Kylo's mind was idiotic, but he saw his father do it and it always calmed his mother. Kylo quickly moved into her path, hooked his hand around the back of her neck and jerked her hard into his body.

Kylo gave her no time to react before he quickly smashed hips lips upon hers. The intimate contact made Rey's body freeze in his arms. The Force was calm for the first time in all these long months the moment that his lips touched Rey’s. At the risk of sounding like a lovesick fool, Kylo swore that he could hear her pulse pick up to match his. He groaned at the feel of her lips, soft and full, just as he remembered them from the kiss, they shared on the _Falcon_ the night that everything went wrong for them. When he slowly pulled away, her eyes were closed and cheeks flush. He watched in suspense while she took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes.

Too distracted by the light in her eyes or the rosy color of her plump freshly kissed lips, Kylo missed the fact that she was drawing her hand back and he was quickly brought back to their current state when her fingers connected to his cheek with a distinctive smack. “Dammit Rey! What the hell?”

“How dare you? You can't just pop in and kiss someone like that!” She let her gaze roam over his face which held the same shocked expression as her own. Rey let her hazel eyes come to rest on his full lips and before she could think better of it, she was grabbing his tunic, jerking his yielding body back to hers and effectively kissing Kylo senseless. 

Kylo’s mind was still reeling when he felt Rey pull him to meet her lips. He gripped her upper arms the moment his thoughts caught up to her actions, pushed her away while holding her within arm’s reach in order to search her face for a clue as to what Rey was feeling. The two of them were panting while staring at each other for a few tense moments before they were moving closer to each other again.

Their lips drew closer and Rey closed her eyes, feeling his breath...then only air…Kylo was no longer there.

“You did that on purpose!” Rey fumed and pointed at the innocent looking twins, growing angrier at their mischievous grins.

_“Perhaps.”_

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

It was well past midnight and the moon was full in the clear Lothal skies when Rey finally drug herself into the base. Rey was wet, cold, tired, and confused at the night that she had, yet the final thing that she needed to do was check on her patient. With soft steps, she quietly moved into the room a few rooms down from her. Alain was tucked into warm quilts and sleeping soundly, yet his eyebrows clenched in a grimace. The last thing that Rey made sure she did before venting to the Force outside earlier was to clean his body and dressed him in clean clothes. It would take months to heal the damage that was done to his body, but it was his mind and soul that she was worried about.

Rey could feel a warmth spread through her heart while she watched Alain sleep. The Force worked in mysterious ways and leading her to Alain was merely the newest instance. There would need to be some changes around this didn’t place if she was now expected to raise Alain. Rey knew how this would all play out in the end, but she was sure of one thing…

Rey would protect Alain with her life, and no one would lay a hand on him again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Rey and the Force had some serious words while Kylo shuts her up the only way he knows how! A new Force sensitive child has been found and saved by Rey. How does this change things? What about Kylo?
> 
> Authors Note: Thank you for reading and reviewing. If you heart the story, let me know, they make me so happy so read and reply too. 
> 
> Warning: Here we go, there is nothing naughty is this chapter or violent.

**Chapter 17**

Alain woke three days later blanketed in a warm bed, new soft clothes, and a slowly healing body. The Bacta patches that littered his skin smelled strange and the stitches on his back itched, every now and then, depending on how he shifted his weight in the bed, painful pricks would sporadically shoot up his spine.

The first days after he woke were spent drinking, eating, and vomiting in the med bay. Rey never said a word that was laced with anger or disgust, merely offering compassion. Rey would gently clean his wounds, redress him in clean clothes, and the next day starts the process anew. Once he was able to keep food and water settled, she began to help with his weakened legs. Rey would manipulate and rub his limbs, chuckling when she touched a ticklish spot that made him jump in surprise.

Alain liked to watch Rey, the expressive looks when she was excited to the heartache that she felt when tending to him. Rey's instincts told her that he was leery of her, which made her heart ache. Alain feared that she was a dream and he would soon wake up in the metal cage that had been his only home.

_All of this was a beautiful dream._

Alain didn't know what love and kindness from another felt or looked like. He wouldn't dare call Rey his mother, not truly knowing what it was like to have a mother. Alain never knew his mother, there were no memories of gentle faces, the loving voices that could have belonged to his parents. The slaver told him that he was a few days old when he was found bloody and screaming in a trash heap. The slaver made sure to remind him, to remind all of them, what they were. 

_Worthless and unwanted... abandoned_

The feelings that Rey sparked in him were frightening, the warmth that her attention filled him, with her kind smiles and soulful eyes. It was a different fear than what he felt when he was a slave, never knowing when and where his end would come. Rey was forcing him to _hope_ and Alain knew better, but she was slowly healing his heart along with his body. Alain now had something to lose.

Rey moved him from the sick bay to a room down the hall, close to her room. He stood in the doorway, trying to be as small as he could be, not sure what to do in the room Rey took him too. It was three days later when the tempting smells of food drew him out of his room, down the metal halls, and into the kitchen. 

Alain innocently watched her as she moved to change his clothes, stopping when he flinched away from her trembling hands. The clean clothes were placed on the chair beside the bed, she replaced the bedding while he dressed, and lastly dressed his wounds with fresh bandages. Alain wanted to hide forever in the med bay, but the smells of freshly cooked food brought him out and towards the kitchen. Rey made his plate and placed it on the table, then turned to the stove to fix her own helping. Alain hopped up, took his plate and moved under the table before she returned to her seat. Rey didn’t say a word to the boy that was under the table, appearing to understand Alain’s feelings. He watched her eating from his spot on the floor for days.

It was breakfast two days later when Rey fixed her plate and moved to his spot under the table. Alain couldn’t move, not understanding why this beautiful angel in a pretty dress chose to sit on the floor with him. 

“Don’t sit here…” Alain fumbled to move quickly, gathering his breakfast so that he could get Rey off the floor. Alain paused when he felt the soft touch of thin fingers on his wrist, the look in her eyes drew him to sit beside Rey, on bated breath, waiting for her next move.

“You eat here. I eat here.” Rey told Alain, knowing why the boy chose to eat under the table, away from her. The apprehensive and confusing looks that he gave her, his innocent blue eyes watched Rey in awestruck silence. Gradually, like all things, Alain began to trust his savior and believe in her kind smiles.

It took two weeks of meals under the table before Alain was brave enough to venture out of the base and he followed Rey everywhere. He helped her farm the fields, learned the names of the animals and what they provided, and as a treat, she would take him to nearby abandoned Imperial and Rebel bases to explore and scavenge. Rey showed him what was worth salvaging and what to leave behind and how to make the most out of every bit of space they had in their bags. She would celebrate with him in his accomplishments, console him when he failed, and pushed him to be the best that he could be. Alain would help Rey in the kitchen while she cooked for them and watch her in earnest when she made her wares to sell in Capital City.

It was in Capital City that Alain saw Rey lose her temper for the first time since meeting his angel. He didn’t understand why she was angry at the Head Mistress of the Academy in Capital City. As a slave, he would never be allowed to enter school with the other children. Everyone knew that, why didn’t she know that? It was who he was, a slave, why couldn’t she see that? 

“Why are you mad?” Alain asked, trying to keep up with her and tilting his head up to catch her attention. Rey didn’t answer him, kept her sights ahead of her, and began to walk faster, “Slaves can’t go to school. Don’t be mad, it’s who I am.”

Rey stopped so quickly that Alain kept walking away from her. Alain was nervous that he upset her, flinching when she approached him with her fists clenched. Rey’s eyes widened and were filled with hurt the moment that he flinched away from her. Alain stood completely still, watching Rey move to her knees on the dirty street, meeting his gaze. 

“That is not who you are,” she gently held his thin biceps, “Never say that again, do you understand Alain?”

Alain nodded and looked down at his feet when he looked up it was a thin hand that awaited him. Rey was looking ahead and waiting for him, her hand shook when he took it. They left Capital City with fuller pockets and hearts, returning to Tangletown to speak to Mavis before heading home. Alain saw the scenery rush by the windows of the transport while they traveled home, almost missing her softly admit that she was afraid of him. This woman feared nothing, what did she mean? 

“I’m not afraid of you as a person but I’m afraid of how you make me feel. You can hurt me deeply Alain.” She told him that night while watching the sunset, disappearing behind the stone spire peeks that protected the valley surrounding their home.

Alain spent the next moments watching Rey while she was lost in her thoughts, their hands clasped.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rey leaned against the doorframe to Alain’s room and watched the boy sleep. When she was growing up on Jakku, she didn’t know any better than to accept the life she was given. There weren’t schools, hospitals, or markets. There was the desert, hot and unforgiving. The desert didn’t care if you were a child, it was ruthless, and life was survival of the luckiest...not the fittest.

It wasn’t until she joined the Resistance that Rey was faced with the truth of her lonely and sad existence. Rey watched families care for each other, children that weren’t abandoned, and bellies that were always full. The orphans were not treated like burdens, they were adopted into the communities around them. 

On Jakku, people were slaves to their circumstances and with the Resistance, she never dealt with the prejudices that lingered with slavery, even after they were granted freedom. The freed slaves weren’t protected, there was no aide to help them start their lives, and they weren’t considered citizens of Lothal. The men, women, and children that Rey freed would trade one form of slavery for another. It wasn’t a master that owned Alain now, it was society.

Rey turned away from the room and strode to the command center, she had to speak to someone. The idea that she had was insane, which appeared to be the norm for her these days. Rey transmitted the call and made herself comfortable in the plush chair, looking into the greenhouse hoping to calm her nerves.

A blinking green light told her that her transmission was received, and the caller was responding. A gravely sleep-filled voice came through, “While you may be my daughter that I love, I hope that you realize it is two in the morning…”

“I have found a boy…” Rey stammered out, unsure of how to start the conversation. “I want to keep him.” Rey rushed out without taking a breath.

“Rey, you haven’t told my son this have you?” Leia was speaking softly, almost like she was afraid that Kylo would pop out behind her. “I know that you and Ben have your differences, but I know that my son will be crushed…”

Rey blinked a few times, praying that Leia didn’t know anything about her _differences_ with the Supreme Leader. “No, it’s not like…”

“And pissed...he will definitely be pissed…we will have to get you and this boy to safety...” Leia continued while beginning to pin up her hair.

“He’s five Leia, maybe six!” Rey knew that she immediately had Leia’s attention the moment that the General sat up taller and completely awake.

Leia let out a tired sigh and relaxed in her chair, “How about you start from the beginning?” 

The next hour was spent retelling the rescue of Alain, leaving nothing of the torrid tale out. Rey couldn’t get a read on what Leia was feeling, there was no emotion showing on her face and the older woman was disturbingly quiet. Leia respectfully listened to her, but the lack of response was troubling.

“It’s sounds like you want to take on this boy as your ward. You must carefully think about this decision, it isn’t like rejuvenating a greenhouse or raising livestock in an abandoned base on an Outer Rim planet, Rey. You will be responsible for this child; it won’t be something that you can run away from when life becomes too much for you to handle.” Leia could see her adopted daughter’s hopeful face fall, so she softened her features and looked into the girl’s concerned hazel eyes, “Why do you want to do this, Rey?” 

“I want to give him the chances that I was never given when I was growing up on Jakku…”

“You can provide and care for the child without claiming him, Rey.” 

Rey cut her off, “I want to provide the best life that I can for Alain, to see his eyes light up when he learns something new. I want to walk him to school and argue with him over homework. I want to teach him to trust again, for him to know that he is worth all the love in the galaxy. This boy did nothing to deserve the life that he was handed. I want to be by his side while he grows up and protect him from harm.”

“I have seen those perfect families on holodramas, and I want that with Alain.” Rey looked down the hall towards Alain’s room and sighed, “Alain doesn’t need me in order to survive and you’re right, I don’t have to go as far as to claim him, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want him to be by my side.”

Rey bit her lip, hoping this last bit of information would help her case with Leia, “He has the Force, Leia. I'm not sure how strong he is, but the Force has been leading me to him since I returned from Ilum. The boy is important, I know he is.”

Leia appeared to be satisfied with her answer, “You have my permission to adopt the boy as your ward, to give him the name of Organa on one condition.”

“Anything,” Rey began before Leia started speaking. “You have my word," but stopped when Leia held up her hand.

“When you are with him, be present...never believe that anything is more important than the boy. Things would have been different if I was simply there for Ben if I was the mother that he deserved. Don’t make my mistakes.” 

Rey knew the moment that Leia was lost in memories of a life, long since passed. “I promise," hoping and praying that she didn't repeat the mistakes of the past.

“I will have the documents drafted, signed, and transmitted to you within the hour. The boy will need to provide his thumbprint, then you will be required to sign the form as his legal guardian and file it in Capital City.” Leia explained the process to Rey, who took it all in and nodded her head while she listened.

“What is the boy’s name?” Leia’s voice gently caught Rey’s attention before their transmission ended. The question brought a happy smile to her daughter’s face, her head turning to look to the right. The child’s room was more than likely in the direction of Rey’s line of sight. 

“Alain, his name is Alain.”

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Alain could feel that something was laying heavily on Rey the entire day that followed their experience at the Academy in Capital City. There was a tenseness in her body that never faded, and a look in her eyes that Alain has never experienced before. It looked like she was going to say something to him all day but couldn’t figure out how to say it. Whatever was weighing heavily on her thoughts was important and would lead to a discussion, maybe she was finished with him?

What if she asked him to leave? 

The feelings of doubt and insecurity came to him easily, knowing that Rey could see how worthless he was to her. The angel that saved his life and the life of the other slaves that he grew up with was done with him. Alain didn’t know what he did wrong, but he would do anything to be given the chance to stay with Rey.

The form that Leia said would be delivered was open and on her datapad, ready for Alain’s thumbprint, even if Rey wasn’t ready herself. 

Why would Alain want to stay with her? Alain didn’t know his parents, they abandoned him moments after his first breaths. This wasn’t the same as Rey, her parents raised her and chose to give her up for drinking money as Kylo so simply pointed out, they _sold _her like she was a thing that was easily traded for something useful. 

What could she offer Alain? Rey could picture his innocent face looking at her with contempt when she offered the only thing that she could, the one thing that no one ever seemed to offer her... belonging.

The light that Alain gave off in the Force was warm and comforting. In the still of the night while Rey lay in bed, she could feel her own Light reaching for his calming presence. Alain didn’t need her, but Rey needed him.

The datapad seemed to burn a hole in her hands while she searched for Alain around the base and finally finding him in the library. He was looking up into the sky through the large skylight windows, his legs crossed and chin resting on his knees. 

Alain felt his eyes begin to heat up with every step she took, the dress that she wore was blue, he liked her in the blue dress, it made her skin pretty. Alain chanced a look at Rey when she sat down on her knees beside him, her hands folded neatly in her lap.

Rey took a deep breath and looked over at Alain, “I wanted to let you know that I have arranged transportation for you to go anywhere you would like. It’s not much but I have also put credits in an account under your name so you could have a good life, a free life. You can do any…”

“You want me to go away?” Alain couldn’t keep the hurt away out of his voice.

“No! Never!” Rey rushed out while reaching for his hands. The tears that began to fall from his innocent blue eyes cut into her. She let his hands go and reached for the datapad, deciding that she would do anything to stop the tears she put in his eyes.

The tablet lit up the room around them with a bright white light. “I don’t have much to offer you Alain, other than myself, but I wanted to ask you if you’d like to stay...with me.”

Alain watched her show the datapad screen to him, an official-looking document with words he didn't understand was displayed. He was confused, not knowing what she was showing him but knowing that this would change everything between them.

“I want to give you a home, Alain. I want us to be family.”

As if knowing what to do from some unknown force, Alain pressed his thumb against the data pad, acknowledging his acceptance of her offer and then launched himself into her arms. Rey wrapped her left arm around his body, her forearm and hand pulled him into her left shoulder. The document was transmitted, her right hand placing the tablet on the floor, the arm now free to join the other the sobbing boy now fully in her arms.

The stars were shining brightly in the clear Lothal sky the night that _Alain Organa_ was born.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Alain has a home in Rey and Rey gives Leia a mini heart attack. Where was Kylo? I wonder 😊
> 
> Authors Note: We are coming up to the ending of my story in 4 short chapters. What on Earth is going to happen? I hope you are ready. 
> 
> Warning: None

**Chapter 18**

True to her word, Leia transmitted the completed documents to the registrar's office in Capital City that night. An email was sent to Rey the next morning advising that she needed to officially sign before the council and collect her copies. 

Rey knew that the boy was Force-sensitive, yet due to her lack of training, she couldn't tell how powerful he was. Rey hoped that over the next few weeks while waiting for school to begin, they could get to know each other, and she could test his aptitude for the Force.

The list of supplies that they needed to buy for Alain was saved on the tablet in her brown leather bag. Namely were necessities like shoes, school uniforms, school supplies, and away from school clothes. The two of them strode through the streets leading to the city center, Alain's eyes were wide while he took everything in. His innocent reactions reminded her of the feelings of awe at the grandeur of Capital City the first time she wandered the streets, touching, tasting, and smelling everything at her first market day.

While she was confident in her medical skills, a visit to the clinic would be the first stop. Rey stood close while the doctor, a kind older human woman, checked Alain from head to toe. The findings didn't surprise her, he was malnourished and not inoculated like normal children his age, yet his injuries that she treated were healing nicely. The first round of vaccines was administered while Rey held his hand, noticing that the glass vials in the room were shaking and the air around them growing heavier with fear. 

“Hey," Rey softly spoke, successfully grabbing his attention. “It's ok, I'm here."

Alain let the breath go that he was holding, the rest of the visit went by quickly. They left with vitamins, antibiotics, and a follow-up appointment in two weeks. 

“What's your favorite color?" Alain broke the silence and looked at Rey who was wistfully tilting her head, eyebrows creased as she remembered the first time that she saw the lush green forests of Takodana. The same forest that changed her life forever, the location where she first met Kylo Ren. Alain let her work through her memories, his curiosity could be felt through the Force.

“Green." Rey answered, “Yours?"

“Blue, I like blue." Alain quickly replied, happy with the true smile Rey gifted him. “Your dress was blue the first day that I saw you." 

The smile that she awarded him was as vibrant as the sun. The energy around her was bathed in happiness and gave him hope for a bright future.

The next few hours were filled with Rey and Alain shopping for the items on their list along with a much-needed haircut. Alain wandered through every store with an endearing childlike wonder, wanting to touch everything. Her savings took a beating, but it was worth it to see a true smile on his face.

The highlight of her day was when they went to enroll Alain for school for the upcoming term. While she never used her mother's name to influence her life previously, it pleased her to see the school's Headmistress's face turn ashen while babbling apologies when learning Alain's official surname. Alain joked as they left the school that with Rey's Force abilities and her last name, she could possibly rule the galaxy. 

The terrifying truth but also humor of his observation was not lost to her, thoughts immediately going to her equally powerful bond-mate. The urge to know Kylo was quickly overtaking her need for self-preservation, yet she wasn't surprised when the thought crossed her mind. The budding relationship with Kylo was confusing, his moods constantly changing. He would go from hot to cold, kind to vicious, love to hate, and her emotions struggled to keep up with him while never knowing what she'd get. It was hard to keep up with him, the man was all bump and go, never stopping to think or for anyone to catch up. It was difficult to accept that Kylo was with her always, lingering in the back of her mind, his dark presence was rage-inducing while also being surprisingly comforting.

Rey instinctively knew that suddenly having a family was going to be challenging for both herself and Alain. Rey was used to fending for herself, answering to no one, and Alain was raised to answer only when spoken too, the child was as jumpy as a long-tailed Loth-Cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He was also raised in an extremely different setting and was witness to Maker knows what.

Yes, being in a family would at times be rewarding and blissful, but by the gods, it was frustrating at the same time. The current reason for her ire was embodied in a foul-mouthed six-year-old boy.

The Saturday markets were busier than normal and her stall where she sold the lotions and soaps that she crafted, was slammed. The day was winding down and their last customer was speaking to her. Rey knew that Chall, a young Twi'lek male who held a supply contract with her was harmless, the banter between them flowed freely. Yet it was disgust in Alain's eyes that made her cheeks flush and her brows crease in confusion to his sudden change in mood. The two didn't speak on the short shuttle ride home, but Rey ushered him into the commander's gardens to attempt to gauge his strength in the Force.

Rey studied the Jedi texts, that she still insisted that she borrowed from Ahch-To, but she truly was just winging it. Alain was like she was with Luke, his temper just as explosive and when he couldn't move the pebbles as instructed, he lashed out at the only thing available...her.

“Just because you have the Force doesn't mean you're special! You're just like all the other...just a...a _Kriffing Schutta_, trying to get more credits!”

By the time he finished his shrill accusation, the overhead lights were dimming, the duo of blooming wisteria trees in the courtyard were whipping with an unnatural breeze and the two piles of smooth surfaced stones lay scattered throughout the gardens.

They watched each other in shocked silence for just a breath. Rey didn't have to feel the Force around them to know that Alain feared retribution, the depth of it caused her teeth to grind while tightly clenching her fists. There would be only one reason for Alain to fear her, especially since she's never raised a hand to him in anger.

Rey couldn't get a word in before Alain turned and ran out of the gardens and it was desperation that led her to the command center, calling the one person that she knew could help. It took a few minutes for Leia to answer her call, the older woman stayed silent while Rey rehashed everything with her, leaving out the curse words that Alain screamed at her.

_“Now this brings back memories, Ben was always a bit on the dramatic side as well. He hated to be wrong and to fail.” _Leia took a deep breath before collecting her thoughts,_ "Take a shower and calm down. Then find him and talk, don't let this fester between the two of you.”_

Rey left the command room, moving towards her quarters, lost in her thoughts. What did the boy need? What did he feel? What did she feel? It was the doubt of failure that weighed her down, could she really do this? The two of them were broken pieces that she was trying to meld together, it hurt to watch him run from her...more than anything he could ever call her in anger. 

The refresher washed the day away but did nothing to soothe her frazzled nerves. What was she going to do? Was this too much for her? What could she teach this boy when she wasn't taught herself? It was akin to the blind leading the blind. 

Rey moved into her room, slipped on a knee-length cream linen sleeping gown, and sat on the edge of her bed and began brushing out her hair. She stopped mid-brush and slowly lowered the tool, holding the item loosely on her lap. The bond began to thump, and Rey knew that she would be visited by her bond-mate shortly.

Kylo suddenly stood in front of her and the weight of his stare left Rey feeling judged, like he knew that she failed, again, even though Kylo had no clue what was going on. It surprised her when the six-foot two man crouched to be on her level...to get at better look at her.

Kylo took the brush from her hands and laid it on the bed. When their gaze met his expression was so open that Rey could feel her eyes tear up, “Do you want the talk about it, sweetheart?" 

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Kylo wasn't sure what to expect from Rey, which wasn't a strange occurrence when the bond brought them together. The Force felt tumultuous while it churned around Rey and the space that she called home.

The Rey sitting in front of him seemed like a stranger. He's seen her spitting with anger, utterly disappointed, eerily calm, and unnaturally kind but he's never seen her truly vulnerable.

The woman sitting on the bed wasn't his bond-mate or his enemy, tonight Rey was a woman who has had a rough day. The bond felt hesitant and he couldn't blame Rey for feeling this way. Given their history, he was lucky that she didn't try to shoot him again, he was almost certain that it would harm him now, due to the increased strength of their bond.

Kylo gently lowered the brush to the ground and placed his hands-on Rey's bare knees. “Talk to me, tell me what's wrong? Let me help you.”

For the first time since that hut on Ahch-To, Kylo was completely open to her. The man Rey wanted him to be was here, showing her that she wasn't alone. Rey closed her eyes and began to cascade out every issue, event, and emotion that led up to her current mood.

Yes, Kylo didn't expect this at all. 

It took every ounce of control in his body to listen to Rey and not react. The open weary stare that she gave him while she spoke of the Force-sensitive boy that she rescued from slavers, made the darkness residing in his soul pleased with how the slavers were _handled_. The story as well as the fear she felt while telling him about the child didn't surprise him and was in line with Rey's character. Kylo immediately knew that there was more to the boy but didn't want to push, pleased that Rey was even opening to him.

The story moved on to her attempt at training another in the Force. Kylo cursed his uncle and even himself for leaving Rey to struggle through learning the Force alone while trying to train a youngling. The boy's name was Alain, a strong name for a strong-willed child, he mused.

“He reminds me of a strong-willed and passionate woman that also refuses to ask for help.” The glare Rey gave him softened to something sweet, urging him to continue his train of thought. “He’s hurting also, not prepared for the emotions that you instill in him. It's a feeling that I understand all too well.”

She gave him an almost pained smile and Kylo patiently waited for her to continue, Rey talking about this Saturday morning, unable to stop his fists from clenching at the mention of the male Twi'lek. Rey continued to the failed attempt at Force training, leading to the beginning of the argument, and stuttered, unable to repeat the words that Alain yelled at her.

“There now, it couldn’t be that bad,” Kylo started, his finger hooking under her chin to lift her face. “The boy is only six.”

Rey was worried for a few minutes, not sure if she should tell Kylo but knew that he would find out sooner or later, “He called me a...a..._kriffing schutta…?”_

Kylo wasn’t sure what he was expecting but _that_ was something that he never dreamed to hear from Rey’s mouth. He almost choked on his tongue trying to figure out what to say and how to say it.

“I grew up on Jakku for Maker’s sake! I know at least six languages...fluently...but I don’t know how to make things right if I can’t even understand what he’s calling me!” 

Kylo paled even more, “Well, kriffing means…”

“Don’t get smart with me Kylo! I know what that means you kriffing idiot! It’s the other part that…”

Kylo prayed to the Force that she truly wasn’t asking him what he thought she was, yet the expectant look told him not to count on it. “A schutta is an...unkind...word for a woman with...a less than savory_ history_…”

Rey watched Kylo nervously rub one of his hands along the back of his neck, the tips of his ears turning red, and his eyes refusing to meet hers. A light went off in her head, quickly jerking back from him, “No...he wouldn’t have called me a…”

Kylo cut her off before she could finish her sentence, “There is no other meaning for that word…”

“Whatever assumptions Alain has made about my sexual history are grossly exaggerated, I can assure you…” Rey watched Kylo's facial expression shift from horrified to pleased, causing her to bristle at his change in moods. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“What! I’m not looking at you like anything…” Kylo jerked away from Rey, who was now on her feet and advancing on him. “Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t say it!”

Kylo could feel the wall against his back as he backed away from the irate woman, shocked at how quickly her moods changed. Gone was the wounded girl he started with and in her place was the fiery woman he knew and...loved?

It's amazing how stupid a man can be with his back against the wall, facing his beautiful bond-mate. This would be the second time that Kylo successfully ended an argument by quickly covering her lips with his own. He let this kiss soften while pulling her closer by the nape of her neck and was shocked when she willingly followed. Kylo pulled away slowly, trying to remain out of slapping range. “You alright?" 

"Fine...yes...I'm good,” Rey's eyes were wide, cheeks flushed, and her breath caught on quick exhales. The pull of the Force took him from her side, leaving Rey to stand facing the wall Kylo was just pressed against.

A single thought spoke to her over the bond bringing a true smile to her face,

_“At least I didn't get slapped this time..." _

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rey took a couple of hours to collect her thoughts after Kylo left her, trying to focus long enough to work on what she was going to say to Alain. It was extremely hard to work out issues with a child while remembering a kiss with Kylo who was more man than she ever remembered him being.

She was furious that Alain would dare call her what he did, and that while understanding his reaction to her flirting earlier that morning, Rey knew she did nothing to warrant his judgement of her character. After quickly realizing that she would have to suck it up and talk to the kid, whether he was ready to talk to her or not, Rey put the kiss with Kylo to the back of her mind.

Rey looked at the clock beside her on the nightstand, it read 10:15 pm. Alain didn’t come out of his room for dinner and she knew he was most likely hungry. It took no time to make a peanut butter sandwich and chips. Rey knocked on his door with his dinner in her hands. A soft _‘Come in_’ could be heard and the door opened. Alain was laying on his side and curled in a tight ball, a position of protection that she knew well from her life on Jakku.

“Are you going to send me away?" Alain asked when he heard her move into his room, sadness in his tone and preparing for the worst.

“Why don’t we talk while you eat something and then see where that takes us?” Rey placed the tray down on the desk beside his bed, taking her place on the floor, and crouching by his bed, a move that she was taking from Kylo’s playbook, so that she could be on common ground with Alain. She was greeted with a pair of puffy red eyes, flushed cheeks, and a runny nose.

The poor boy tried to eat and rush out his explanation all at the same time and all Rey heard was muffled sounds and smacking of his lips. “Finish chewing, take a breath, and then talk,” she didn’t want him to feel rushed and would kneel here all night if she had to.

She watched him take another bite of sandwich and chew it slowly, Rey let her mind wonder. While she was practically a novice with the act of sex, she wasn’t a stranger to prostitution. There wasn’t much to do on Jakku after all other than surviving, drinking, and fucking. Yet the horrors that he witnessed, the acts that the slavers made the slaves..._all_ of the slaves do made her stomach churn, feeling acidic bile moving its way up her throat. In his eyes, she was propositioning herself in order to sell more of her product. 

“I didn’t mean to get so angry and I called you a...a…” Alain’s cheeks flushed and his eyes refused to meet hers, not able to finish his sentence before Rey cut him off.

“Oh, I know what you called me, Alain. There is no need to say it again...ever again.” Rey put every ounce of frustration in the look she gave him, hoping it got her point across.

She knew that he was embarrassed, ducking his head before he squeaked out, “I’m really sorry.”

Alain’s failure with his Force lesson caused him to lash out at her. Rey would need to teach the kid how to deal with his anger, laughable because she wasn’t able to control it either. None of that would stop her from being anything that this little boy needed her, and she wouldn't let him down. Rey tucked a stray blonde curl behind his left ear. “How about we work together on the Force training? As for the markets on Saturday, I can introduce you to the customers and you can help me? How does that sound?”

Alain slid from his bed to wrap thin arms around her waist. The first of many tears to wet Rey's clothing but she didn't mind one bit.

“So, does this mean that I’m..." Alain's voice was muffled by the fabric of Rey’s dress under his mouth.

“Oh, you're going to be grounded until you die and I'm washing your mouth out with soap.” Rey started with a stern tone, but she softened and continued, “But I’m not going to send you away Alain...we are family, and families stick together."

_'Yeah, families were hard.’ _Alain thought that night with a bar of sandalwood soap in his mouth before going to bed, but he found he didn't mind that much.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Alain has a home in Rey and Rey gives Leia a mini heart attack. Where was Kylo? I wonder 😊 In this chapter we see our Supreme Leader in a bad place, can he hold off the Darkness rising in him?
> 
> Authors Note: We are coming up to the ending of my story in 4 short chapters. What on Earth is going to happen? I hope you are ready. 
> 
> Warning: We gots a sexy dream incoming! There shall be naughtiness.

**Chapter 19**

It would be a lie to say that Rey's continued refusal of what he desperately wanted to give to her didn't tear him apart inside. A family, a home, a belonging within the Force and within his heart, that's what he offered Rey once with a starship crumbling around them. It was what he continued to offer her. 

Rey's refusal didn't surprise him, no one has wanted him, but for kriff's sake did it hurt. To know that the person created for him by the Force, willed into existence to balance the evils that he has committed, didn't want him...well it aggravated at an already festering wound in his blackened soul.

Over the span of his life he realized that Ben Solo wasn't wanted in this world. As a child born from two war heroes who didn't want children nor should they have had them, Ben was an afterthought. It was obvious to everyone that Ben wasn't planned, rumor has it that he was the result of a drunken tryst on Endor where his parents fought and then...made up. At times he wondered if his mother kept the pregnancy just to torment her smuggler husband. It was easy to send Ben away to his Jedi fool of an Uncle, even to this day Been marveled at how Luke, the epitome of the Lightside, attempted to kill a young Padawan while sleeping, all over a dream that wasn't his.

The night that Kylo Ren was born appeared to be a turning point, yet after his novelty died Snoke began using him. He lost all inhibitions like every emotionally stunted youth when he was in his early twenties. The Dark Side allowed for carnal pleasures and Kylo was first in line for his due, fucking his way across the galaxy. The sex, while pleasurable, left him unfulfilled and craving a deeper connection. The nameless women were all using him for money, power, or plainly, his body. 

Kylo Ren foolishly permitted Snoke to use his strength with the Force, willing the ways of the Force through his Dark apprentice. Every battle, slaughter and annihilation by the hand of Kylo Ren was part of a plan to call to the Force and create a way to balance the galaxy that the First Order destroyed. Kylo should have seen this coming, the signs were there, yet ignored, after all the grandson of Vader would be useful. Snoke was never impressed by his lineage but Kylo Ren used it like a suit of armor protecting a scared little boy hiding in a man-made tool of death. 

Under Snoke, Ben worked to snuff out his light, but time and time again he was drawn back, making him feel like the Darkside didn't even want him, but those feelings halted with the introduction of Rey. A lowly scavenger from Jakku, a no one in this story, and yet she was everything. 

Rey was terrified when they met but he found beauty behind the sweat covered brow and unflattering desert rags as he held her slight frame in his arms. There was no reason for him to remove his helmet, yet the satisfaction of seeing her eyes widen when Rey saw that man behind the mask warmed him. The girl was exactly like him, abandoned, angry, and desolate with the cards the Force dealt. 

The light embedded in her soul was breathtaking, he was stuck between wanting to snuff it out or yearning to lock it away like a secret treasure solely for himself. Their relationship was tumultuous at best, coming to a head quickly with the unexpected addition of the Force Bond. In her, Kylo found the belonging he yearned for...Rey promised him that he wasn't alone. Then the brave foolish girl delivered herself to save the tormented soul of Ben Solo, the long-dead name sounded strange to him.

When faced with the choice between the life or death of Rey, it wasn't an easy decision, because every bit of Darkness around him demanded the Lightsider’s blood. Rey was on her knees like an offering, looking up at him speaking a dead boy's name on her lips while imploring him to pick the path that led to her. Kylo Ren was decapitating his Master, fighting alongside his enemy, and the new Supreme Leader before his mind could catch up to his actions. The boy who no one wanted was now a man who killed for everything he wanted. The girl who came for him, Rey, the girl with no past and no future without him. Kylo Ren had everything until he had nothing.

Waking up alone with Hux over his body, a blaster being pulled from his coat was the alarm that he needed. The girl was like the others, Kylo wanted Rey to be different but no, the scavenger was the same...his love was only worthy as Ben Solo.

Rey left him to die...so in his wounded mind, she must also feel that pain...

Fast-forward months later and Kylo was playing house with Rey. The dutiful bond-mate, innocently visiting her all while not asking for anything. Rey trusted him as far as she could throw him without the Force. He's still not good enough…worthy enough to talk to but not enough to do it in person. The wounds continue to worsen with every passing day, yet he can't stop going to her, knowing he had to be patient.

_Patience..._

A skill that Kylo knew he sorely lacked, especially when it came to his bond-mate. They both lived by the mantra of _“shoot first, ask questions later"_, albeit Rey was much more kind in her delivery. If his father's stories were true, then Han would have been proud of Rey when she first met Kylo Ren in the forests on Takodana. His scavenger girl bravely faced down a creature in a mask while shooting a primary blaster, even though Rey was terrified, inexperienced, and about as battle worn as a newborn Nerf calf. It was safe to say that he was extremely interested in this beautiful petite nobody from Jakku.

Kylo constantly fought the urge to tear his TIE Silencer into hyperspace and hunt her down. The only thing stopping him from what the Force obviously wanted was the delicate truce between himself and Rey. Kylo didn't want to betray her trust, liking this tender version of Rey. The version that let him kiss her senseless to avoid fights.

The Force was hosting a game of cosmic matchmaking, with himself and Rey as the star participants. The bond connected them more, at odd times of the day, and while he was smugly pleased that he kept intruding on Rey in the shower, he could tell she was definitely not okay with that aspect of the bond's timing.

Being able to see Rey and not physically touch her left him wanting and volatile, yet he remained the ever-present confidant when she needed him. Rey never whined or complained, she simply talked with him like they were _together_, or how he imagined being with her would be like.

Kylo looked forward to the little moments they shared like talking about their days while he brushed and braided her hair or getting to know what made her tick, but all he wanted to do was pounce on the poor woman, making him feel like a walking hormonal-driven Padawan. He looked forward to seeing Rey, yet the visits often left him unsatisfied, silently begging, and primed for only her.

But each time that Rey would awkwardly pull away from him or not meet his burning stare, Kylo felt like his mind was slipping. He was allowing the Darkness to feed into his feelings of worthlessness, not knowing what purpose he was serving in Rey’s life and these growing doubts made him wonder when she would next betray him. These thoughts aggravated his already weakened mental state until he was a ticking time bomb counting down to something regrettable.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rey should have immediately known that she was dreaming, the lush grassy hills with delicate yellow daffodils blanketing the fields in the distance were nothing like the humid climate on Lothal. The floor length windows were open, a pair of ivory gossamer curtains flowed with a warm wind. The room that she was in was bathed in sunlight, tiny rainbows flitted around the room, reflections of the light hitting the windows. Her body was draped in a soft pink gown, the material cool against her skin while lying on the softest bed she's ever felt. The peace of her surroundings soothed her mind, the blissful warmth prompting her eyes to slowly close.

The caress of gentle fingertips on her face caused her to sigh in contentment. A familiar husky chuckle broke the silence of the room around her. Rey could feel the warmth of another body beside her, the weight of them dipping the mattress slightly, and sensed that she was being watched. 

Rey knew who she would find when her eyes lazily opened. Her lips drew up in a slow smile at the face above her, a lithe hand raised to touch the scar she gave the man of her dreams, literally. The mark on his face brought out dark feelings of possession that didn't feel right in her current serene surroundings.

Rey was powerless to stop her gaze from heating, nor the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes, just threatening to fall. Kylo was so beautiful, the scar only adding to his attraction. He was dangerous, volatile, and utterly bad for her, but she was helpless to stay away from him.

The fragile heart in her chest clenched painfully, the words she fought to keep close began falling from her lips before she had the chance to stop them.

“I love you.”

There was no smirk, no disgust, or no anger, in his whiskey hued eyes his jaw dropping slightly at her admission. The look that he was giving her reflected complete shock, while the tips of his ears and cheeks flushed, but it was the awkward boy-like grin Kylo gifted that made her heart skip a few beats. Rey held her breath when he leaned down, peppering her heated and freckled cheeks with his soft lips. First the left then the right, his lips lingering on her skin as he hovered over her on his elbows.

Rey found it hard to catch her breath when his lips ghosted near hers and a shiver wracked her core as he trailed down the expanse of her body with one of his large hands. Finally, those soft lips touched hers and her mouth fell open as Kylo deepened their kiss, exploring her mouth while his hands moved to clutch her thighs, urging her legs to spread wide so that he could nestle himself between them.

Her breath embarrassingly hitched when clothed muscular hips moved to settle between her parted legs. This felt different, more personal than when they were together through the bond on the Falcon. Rey pushed on his strong chest and nervously whimpered when he began to slowly gather up the skirt of her gown, trying to press the rough skin of his palm to her warm inner thigh.

Kylo was mesmerized by the slight clench of her brow, the innocent looks she awarded him, or how her lips slightly parted when he rolled his hips, grinding into her center. It was fascinating to witness the skin from her chest to her cheeks flush to a pretty shade of pink. He needed to taste her and moved his lips to the slender length of her neck, causing a throaty moan to fall from her lips. It was his turn to groan while placing lingering kisses and teasing nips from her pulse point to her collarbone.

A chill flooded the bond when Rey let her mind wonder how often he did this to other women, causing a borderline painful nip to her neck accompanied by a low growl of displeasure. Rey stilled when she felt Kylo lightly lick the bite. She tried with every bit of strength in her body to stop from trembling when those lips moved to her breastbone and curious fingers found her tight nipples through the light dress she wore, causing her to arch her back up into his touch. Rey wasn't sure whether she wanted to curl into or jerk away from the stimulus that was overwhelming her body, having never felt these sensations before.

Kylo paused, allowing Rey a moment to collect herself before beginning to open the bodice of the soft dress, the plunging neckline helping him expose more of her skin that he was itching to kiss. The desire to not repeat what happened on the Falcon beat the desire to taste Rey's golden skin again. He could feel that the trepidation over her deeply rooted insecurities regarding her body were being overcome with the desire to learn and allow him to lead for once. 

“_Breath sweetheart.”_ His needy lips covered one of her stiff uncovered nipples, one hand sliding under her back to the nape of her neck, and the other slowly moving down the length of her body.

Kylo groaned when his fingers reached the apex of her thighs, releasing her breast with a nip to her nipple before sliding soft lips over to its twin, lavishing it until his lover was a sobbing mess. Only then did he begin to slide down her body, nosing the fabric covering her belly, both hands now clutching a pair of pronounced hip bones. It took minimal effort to coax Rey into lifting her hips so her pale pink panties could be slid off.

_“Is this for me?” _Kylo moaned the moment his fingers easily slipped along her lips and his thumb catching her swollen clit. He slid his ring finger into her soaking tight cunt, thumb remaining on her clit. _“I want to be with you...for this to be real. Please tell me where you are Rey...tell me and I will come for you.” _

Rey could only feel and moan as he continued to work her body. He was relentless, adding a second finger while holding onto her over-stimulated body. Kylo's cock was pressed against her thigh, it was as hard as stone leaving her to briefly wonder if it physically hurt him to be that hard.

_“You have no idea how much it hurts.” _Kylo growled out, his aura darkening quickly. He quickly drew his fingers out of her tightening cunt, stopping her release. _“Tell me where you are so I can do this for real.”_

Rey could feel her body move while hearing a tiny voice that sounded like it was underwater. Her head turned away from Kylo towards the sound, trying to make out what it wanted... There was someone trying to get her attention. 

_“Don't do this to me again Rey...don't you dare leave me scavenger…”_

The dream ended abruptly with the worried face of Alain above her, trying to jostle her body awake while crying her name. The bond pulsed and burned, making her headache. What in the hell was Kylo doing? 

After taking a few moments to clear the webs of sleep and calm the burning lust surging through her veins, Rey realized what Kylo was doing. He was breaking through her defenses that hold strong during real life and he was doing it successfully. Rey pushed Alain behind her and out of her room seconds before Kylo stood in front of her looking extremely pissed.

_Well shit_

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Kylo knew that she was apprehensive of his entrance yet bravely stood her ground before his much larger form. Rey shuddered when he came to stand in front of her, turning her head to the side to look at anything other than him.

Rey yelped when two hands harshly moved to grab her arms, he was now too close for comfort. 

_“Where are you?! You will tell me where you are, Rey!” _Kylo snarled at her while trying to shake some sense into her.

“I’m not telling you...it wouldn't matter anyway!” Rey felt childish while she put her foot down and refused to let him step all over her in order to get what he wanted. To be completely honest with herself, she wanted him, loved him, but they couldn't be together. It was a road that neither of them could travel, there was no happy ending, and no grand finale for their love story. 

_“Kriff woman! You are infuriating! Why are you so damn stubborn?” _The more she denied what they both obviously wanted the more frustrated he grew at this situation between them. Kylo felt his heart ache while looking at the feminine body of his bond-mate, an ever-present reminder of something that he desperately wanted but would never have.

“You are acting like a spoiled child!” Rey growled back at him while trying to squirm out of his unforgiving grip. It took a few tries and help from the Force, but Rey broke his hold.

The two of them now stood toe to toe, this petite woman staring down this immovable force. They were both breathing heavily, close enough to feel each other's breath. 

“I am not afraid of you! You have no power here, Kylo Ren!” 

Kylo lashed out the moment that the words left her lips, using the Force to press her into the wall behind her. He didn’t give her any time to prepare before his much larger frame immediately descended on hers.

_“Think again little girl!” _Kylo bit out through clenched teeth just before his hands gripped under her thighs and wrenched her up the wall, spreading her legs wide for him. Rey pushed against his chest, not able to move the man holding her.

“What in the hell are you doing? Put me down, Kylo!” Rey screeched at him while feebly trying to move him away. A primal growl erupted from his chest right before his lips descended on hers. The kiss only lasted a few moments before she used the Force to push him as hard as she could, causing him to release her.

“_Stop fighting me! Stop fighting us!”_

“Do you think I'm going to lay down and let you do what you want like in our dreams?” She bit out, finally wiggling out of his hold and darting away from him towards the other side of her room. This unhinged Supreme Leader wasn’t the kind man that she allowed into her life. The person that sat on her bed and talked with her about their days was gone and replaced with a tormented Force user, and Rey wasn’t sure what had changed.

“_You know nothing if you believe this is what I want! That you are what I want!”_ Kylo was yelling at her now, anger at her rejection voiding out all rational thinking. All that Kylo knew was that he wanted this person to hurt as he hurt. “_I want this bond to end! To be rid of you!” _

Kylo paused, not looking at the now weeping girl in front of him who was in no way the reason for the depth of his hatred. Rey had quickly become the embodiment of all the pain that Ben Solo felt. Kylo searched his memories of them quickly, trying to find something that would rip apart his enemy._ "You sicken me, desert rat!”_

The air immediately grew thick and still between them, the words that he yelled in anger hung between them. Kylo stared at her with his eyes wide, emotions clear, and the rage calmed. He watched in agony as her beautiful hazel eyes filled with tears, her hands moving to cover her mouth as she tried to withhold the cry of pain that she was feeling. She moved away from him, her hands moving to her chest, trying to protect the breaking heart beneath.

Rey wasn't looking at him, her eyes glazed in misery and she didn't feel him reach for her cold hands as Kylo slowly moved them away from her chest. All that Rey could do was nod at him, accepting the hate that he held for her. 

Her bond-mate didn't want her...her existence sickened him.

Rey always felt that she wasn’t good enough for him but to actually hear his deep voice declare his hatred hurt. It felt like her heart was being cut out of her chest and she couldn’t catch her breath. It was at this moment that the Force thankfully granted her bond-mate’s request, the bond was ending.

Kylo tried to grab her attention, yet was forced to watch Rey sink into herself, further away from him. He panicked when the connection between them began to tremble, knowing that the bond was going to separate them soon. He was going to lose her!

_“Rey...sweetheart...You must know what I feel...” _Kylo started to try and explain himself before the bond separated them. His precious girl was heartbroken, he did that to her (again) and now he felt that she was no longer his. 

What had he done?

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

When her vision cleared, she noticed that she was sitting on the floor. The rest of the evening crawled on for Rey. She made dinner for the two of them, ate with him at the modest table, helped Alain with his bath, and tucked him into bed. Rey felt that Alain was worried for her, his concern doing nothing to comfort her through the Force. 

The trip to her room was longer than normal. Rey was numb...looking around her room searching for something that she would never find.

Kylo’s words replayed like a broken holo in her mind, forcing her to relive the look of hatred and disgust in his normally warm eyes. The Force was thankfully respectful and allowed her peace, not bringing them together again. Rey cried until she felt that she couldn't cry anymore. Her dreams didn’t provide a respite and repeated the moment with Kylo repeatedly while filling the blanks with moments that Rey desperately wanted. The feel of Kylo's hands holding hers while they spoke vows from the heart, the taste of sweet wine left with a kiss that made her toes curl, and the happy sounds of children playing in the distance.

Her watery eyes opened in the dead of night, surprised that her feet were rubbing against something squishy at the foot of her bed. The sight brought a smile to her lips when she saw the sleeping form of Alain curled around her feet, on top of her covers.

How does one live on when a piece of their soul was missing? What was wrong with her? Why did no one want her? 

Rey moved Alain's sleeping form up the bed so that she slept beside him, his content sigh breaking the silence of her room. Rey made her decision in the dead of the night before closing her eyes while wrapping her arms around Alain, holding him close to her breaking heart.

It was time to put an end to this. No matter the price. The Force bond between her and Kylo had to end.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Kylo is hurtful and Rey gives up. The bond must end.
> 
> Authors Note: Not going to be all mushy here. These last three chapters will keep you on pins and needles. I hope you enjoy them. My Reylo wife, DangerTaylor led me to this point. The last few chapters were mostly on my own. Leave me a note, let me know what you think. 
> 
> Warning: Kylo is dark. That’s enough said.

**Chapter 20**

After barely escaping the Empire's wrath many years ago, Leia promised that she would never set foot on the frozen planet of_ Hoth_ for as long as she breathed. Yet here she was, in an ancient Rebel base returned to life. The Resistance moved to Hoth a fortnight ago in order to distance themselves from the First Order who was rapidly closing in on the Resistance. 

That was the reason Leia gave her war council when they asked about their current location. The real reason was selfish...Leia wanted to bring all of those who knew the location of the missing Jedi far away from Lothal. There was a galaxy between Lothal and Hoth, and everyone who knows about Rey's base was now under the General's watchful eye.

“Stollan has been found and delivered," Poe Dameron spoke but his voice didn't hold the cockiness that it was normally drenched in, no the pilot was uncharacteristically subdued. Stollan was only an Ensign, just a kid on leave to visit family on Chandrila, that was simply in the wrong place and time. But now he lay in the makeshift med bay...another poor soul who was captured and mentally tortured by the General's son.

Kylo Ren was on the hunt and the Resistance fighters he took prisoner were either executed or left with their minds shattered due to his use of the Force to interrogate the poor souls. The holos being broadcasted didn't show the man that was previously changing the galaxy for good, leading his people like he was raised to. The man behind the mask was hurting the galaxy and leaving deep fissures within the Force in his wake.

The monster the galaxy was suffering under was unhinged, the Dark side of the Force taking over the fledgling light that was taking root within Ben Solo. This angry version of her son that was disappointed by his parents who were far too busy for a Force sensitive child, attacked by his Uncle while he slept, the one who destroyed the Jedi Academy and killed young Padawans was who the galaxy was dealing with now. Kylo Ren was quickly crafting himself into the Darkside apprentice that Smoke always wanted him to become.

The Resistance, along with the rest of the free peoples of the galaxy, watched as Kylo Ren cut through everything that stood in his way. The recent casualty estimates were on her desk, three satellite bases, a squadron of fighters, and over 200 dead. The monster behind the mask was ruthless, either ordering no quarter for those that survived the brutal attacks or the less fortunate souls that were taken to be interrogated and their minds ripped to ribbons. 

Leia sighed and walked away from the med bay windows towards her chambers. She took this time to thank the Force that Rey and Alain remained hidden, safe from the hold of the First Order as well as the infamous Knights of Ren. It gave her time to reflect on Rey, something was weighing heavily on her mind and effecting her moods.

The last few months were eye opening for Leia regarding her adoptive daughter. Rey was flourishing on Lothal, excelling at resource management and developing a skill for negotiation, traits that Leia wanted her to have for when the girl was ready to...the train of thought bringing memories to the front of her mind. 

_“Are you sure about this?" Poe questioned as he read the paperwork in front of him._

_“Sign the papers, Poe." Leia bit out, shutting up the pilot._

_“She needs to know what will happen should anything happen to you; Rey has to be prepared.” Poe shook his head with a sigh before signing the document._

_“She will be ready when the time is right." Leia looked down at the document with a slight smile._

Time was never on her side and Rey wasn't ready for the burden that Leia was preparing her for. Leia was proud of Rey's successes on Lothal, the business she grew and how successful she was. It was the surprise appearance of the Force-sensitive boy named Alain, the boy that was helping Rey learn what it was to love another, a skill that could not be learned but had to be felt.

Her musings were interrupted by a knock on her door. “Enter." 

Poe bore a solemn glint in his eyes, telling Leia that whatever news he came to deliver would be bad. He passed a datapad to her, “There's something that you need to see, General.”

Leia clicked on the grainy holo. A gasp left her lips as she put her hand over her mouth before slowly falling into the chair behind her desk. “Oh Ben, what have you done?" 

“I hate to say this, but I just don't get it. He's been rebuilding the galaxy for months since Crait. What has changed to make him fall to this level?” Poe asked. Leia had nothing to say to the actions of her wayward son. Poe stood next to her and took the offered datapad from her hands before asking, “Is she safe?”

“For now, yes, but he's trying to root her out of hiding.” Leia shook her head and stood to face the cocky pilot, “However, after this, she won't be safe for long.”

"You don't actually think that Rey would…” Poe was cut off with an unimpressed look from Leia.

“Put herself in danger in order to save them? Yes, Poe. That is _exactly_ what she is going to do.”

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

_The only way to break a Force bond is death._

Rey thought this was something oddly poetic considering the source. She came across the verse buried in an ancient Sith tome that was archived in the library in Capital City. 

The line brought a debasing chuckle. Of course, that would be how to sever the Force bond. The Sith deal in absolutes just like the Jedi. A wounded part of her soul wondered if _he_ knew this bit of information, maybe that was why he tried to kill her during his attack on Crait.

Rey swore on Jakku that she would never allow another man to ever hurt her again. The walls that guarded her heart were once impenetrable, yet here she was, Force bonded and in love with a mate who hated her.

_Your presence sickens me, desert rat._

The memory was on constant repeat in her head, over and over she was forced to relive that heartbreaking moment between herself and Kylo Ren. Rey heard his deep voice raised in anger, telling her what he truly felt for her, how much he hated their bond. It’s funny how she never appreciated their bond until Kylo told her how much he despised it, or was it just being bonded to her. The chirping of an incoming holo drew her attention towards the communication console. Her mother has been contacting her often as of late, Rey suspected that Leia sensed that something was wrong.

Time after time Rey succeeded in distracting herself from the topic of Kylo Ren by bringing up Alain. The boy would be strong with the Force, Alain’s latent talents and strength could be felt as she meditated. Rey was sure that Kylo could feel the boy's power and often wondered why her Darkside counterpart never came to collect Alain. It was another reminder of Kylo’s feelings towards her, hating her so much that he wouldn't suffer her presence to take a child with so much promise within the Force.

Alain reminded Leia of Ben in his youth, a child struggling on his own while searching for his place in their family, and within the Force. This was why she decided to send over a very special gift to Alain, hoping it would help Rey as well. The holocrons were delivered and Rey knew that Leia wouldn't let Alain suffer like Ben had, he would be given every opportunity to discover his place in the family Rey built for them and the Force. 

It was becoming increasingly difficult for Rey to hide her broken heart from the sensitive child. The pain covered with smaller smiles, shorter laughs, and longer sleep patterns but Alain knew, Leia knew, that something was happening to her.

Rey would never forget the look of wonder on Alain's face when he opened the first holocron using the Force. The two of them learned how to properly lift rocks, they fell asleep during a lengthy discussion on the origination of the Force and began to learn how to block mental attacks by wielding the Force. The hours passed quickly, both learning together until she heard Alain's small voice cut through the silence between them after he opened the fourth holocron.

“Who's that?"

In the glowing blue Holo recording was a teenage boy dressed in tan Jedi robes, his movements were slightly awkward like he wasn’t comfortable in his lanky limbs and towering form. The boy moved through complex sets of familiar forms with a glowing azure lightsaber, a crystal that one day would be bled into a rage-filled scarlet. The two of them were witnessing the training of a young Ben Solo. 

Rey walked slowly towards the recording in order to get a closer look. The room around her faded and all Rey saw was a determined yet gentle face. She wondered what Ben was like back then, before the anger and betrayal set upon his soul. 

Could they have been friends? Would they have been more? Could she have helped him?

Rey wondered if Snoke was already in Ben’s head at the time of recording, darkening the light that she once felt in him. 

“His name was Ben Solo." Rey explained, trying to keep all emotion out of her voice.

"You knew him?" Alain watched as Rey struggled to calm her features, her eyes glazed, and fists clenched.

“Not like this, but I wish I had." Alain could tell when Rey was lost in painful memories, her eyes filled with heartache, her face fell, and lips began to quiver. This person was important to Rey, perhaps lost to her. Rey didn't have to be a Force user to know how curious Alain was about the boy in the recording.

“Did he hurt you?" 

The holo closed, causing the bright colors to fade and return to the dull copper box it was when he picked it up. Alain gave it to Rey and a soft longing could be felt through the Force the moment she accepted the copper cube. “Yes, he did."

Alain didn’t like seeing Rey like this and he also didn't like Ben Solo one bit.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rey woke in Kylo's arms, the two of them sitting on a hard surface, she watched his lips move but no sound could be heard. The Force surrounding them was laced with rage, agony, and the misery of defeat. 

For some reason, Rey couldn't see his face clearly but smiled knowing that Kylo was with her. There was something happening around them that was life altering for the two of them, if only she could just focus. Whatever she was trying to focus on was just out of reach of her Force senses and there was something stopping her from making that final connection.

The world around her was blurry, her eyes unable to focus yet her other senses were enhanced. Rey could hear Kylo's muffled voice, feel the soft leather gloves that held her closer to his chest, taste the sand in the air, and smell his underlying soothing scent of sandalwood. 

Rey didn't want this dream to end because she knows, he wasn't hers, Kylo made it completely clear that he didn't want her. She’s been living without him for so long, but Rey knew now that her existence without Kylo wasn’t a future that she wanted at all.

Sure, she had Alain, Leia, and her home but her soul felt incomplete. There was a realness to this dream, she has felt it before but never quite understood how or why the Force seemed to tease her with these caresses. The last time that she felt this way was with Kylo in her hut on Ahch-To. Rey woke up from her odd dreams uneasy, the feeling staying with her during the day and long into the night.

There was a pulse through the Force that brought Rey to her knees, hands trembling and pressed to the skin covering her thundering heart. It was difficult to breath, to think, and move. It took a couple hours for Rey to calm down her spastic heart so that she could prepare for Mavis to retrieve the order of soaps for the week’s deliveries. Rey was compelled to switch on the holoweb and watched the broadcast with the rest of the galaxy.

The holovid that flashed across the screen was being filmed live, the picture grainy yet Rey would know those forms anywhere. The Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, unmasked with crazed eyes was publicly flogging the strung-up body of the only person to ever come back for her. There was no sound, but Rey could see that Finn, her brave Finn, clenching his jaw in pain while trying to move away from the vibrowhip in Kylo's hand.

Mavis didn't speak but Rey knew the older woman came to stand beside her, the two of them remaining silent for a long time. They watched the holo repeat itself with the First Order broadcaster spouting his rhetoric about capturing the traitor and member of the Resistance. 

Rey’s throat felt tight, swallowing down the lump that formed as she watched Finn get flogged repeatedly, but somehow found her voice with tears brimming in her eyes, “Alain will sleep soundly until morning. Please help him understand that I had to leave to help a friend.” She felt Mavis place a consoling hand on her shoulder when she paused to collect herself. She drew a deep breath and sniffled while drying her eyes with her sleeve. “Mavis, if something should happen to me, someone will come for him. A man will come to take Alain to someplace safe.”

The older woman nodded along with the instructions and Rey’s expression was laced with sadness but determination, “I'm afraid I will need your ship, dear friend.” 

Rey walked to Alain's bedroom and quietly opened the door. The boy was tangled in blankets with one foot and arm draped over the side of the bed. Rey hoped that Alain would understand why she left without saying goodbye or explaining her actions. She knew that he would be angry but hoped that he would forgive her, especially if she didn’t come back for him, knowing that Poe would be sent to ensure his safety.

Mavis watched Rey leave the boy's room, attaching the Jedi saberstaff to the young women's belted holster, “Rey, there must be another way.”

“I’m the reason that the Supreme Leader is doing this, and I am the only one that can stop him. There is no other way, Mavis, not for me. Not for him." Rey sighed and turned away Mavis as she shoved a change of clothes into a bag. 

She exchanged her now normal earthy toned dress for a tan tunic that fell to her hips, covering her brown linen pants. The leather belt held the tunic together while holstering her weapon. Rey could see the awe in Mavis’s eyes, like she was a Jedi Knight of old. Rey picked up her pack and laid a firm hand on the older woman's shoulder, “Thank you, Mavis.” Glassy hazel eyes met those of a trusted friend, “For everything."

The door to the command center closed with a sense of finality, casting the hall in darkness. The holo glowed blue now broadcasting a galaxy wide message… 

** _At 0800, Galactic Time, in Hanna City on the planet Chandrila, the deserter known as FN-2187, a traitor to the First Order will be publicly executed by the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren…_ **

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

When Kylo Ren walked into the dank cell, Finn refused to look up at him. A medical droid stitched the ex-trooper’s split flesh back together as he wondered why his soon to be executioner was tending to his wounds. The monster behind the mask was agitated, breathing loudly through the modular in his helmet.

“She won’t come, no matter what you do to me." Finn growled up at the tyrant. When Ren didn’t answer, Finn opened his mouth to continue but was thrown against the metal walls of his holding cell. Finn kicked and clawed against the invisible choke hold.

“That is where you are wrong, traitor,” Kylo sneered, spittle flying from his lips onto the inside of his helmet. “She is already on her way."

Finn was dropped as an animalistic snarl came from behind the mask and Kylo looking down at the wheezing man who was now on his knees before him. The wounds on his back reopened and blood dripped on the floor around him. “Fix him, sedate him if you must. I need him to live at least until tomorrow when he will truly feel my judgement."

Kylo strode out after giving the order, guards and droids alike rushed out his way while he left the archaic Rebel Base. The land was green and vibrant around them, the scaffolds being raised casting a darkened shadow on the once peaceful land. 

Hanna City was the birthplace of Ben Solo, this move against the Resistance bringing him full circle with the death of what remained of the man by the same name. The First Order spies reported that there was a small rescue team being assembled with General Organa leading the assault. The Darkness rose in his blackened soul, eagerly anticipating their foolish attempts at heroism. Their folly would be the perfect way to warm-up in order to ready himself for the fight that Rey would give him when she arrived.

The bond remained quiet and there were no sightings of the lost Jedi girl but Kylo knew his bond-mate...yes...Rey would come.

And he would be waiting.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Finn is in trouble, Rey is traveling to save the day, and Kylo is setting up a bad trap.
> 
> Authors Note: The last two chapters, thank you for reading and I hope that you hang in there for me. Leave me a note and let me know your thoughts. Just remember I heart you all and will be taking you on a bumpy ride!

**Chapter 21**

Rey kept her eyes forward while approaching the borrowed shuttle. The craft wasn't much but would safely deliver her to Hanna City in two days’ time. Rey meditated and slept during the journey, only coming to the cockpit to check that she remained on course.

It was early morning when she finally reached the planet of Chandrila, with its brilliant blue oceans surrounding expansive muted tones of land masses. It was quite possibly the most beautiful planet she'd ever seen, a perfect place to visit for another reason, in another life. It looked too unassuming and innocent for the evil that Kylo Ren brought upon the planet below. 

Rey was pleasantly surprised to discover that the refresher was not sonic, and the warmth of the water attempted to relax the turmoil that she was feeling. Why was Kylo going to such extreme lengths to force her out of hiding? The man denied their bond, what more could he want from her? 

After she was dried off, Rey dressed methodically before weaving a strip from Alain's clothes into a pair of tight plaits that started at the crown of her head then trailing down to her back. It gave her comfort to know that a piece Alain was with her, no matter the outcome of this mission. 

Her clothing flowed out from her slender waist; the grey tabard lengthened to her knees. A wide leather belt held the white tunic together. Her slender legs were covered in fitted dark grey pants with a pair of black boots that completed her outfit. A quick glance at her reflection in a floor length mirror brought a small rush of pride. Rey shouldn't care what she looked like but a weak part of her wanted to please him. 

Rey was surprised to find when she disengaged the hyperdrive that there were no First Order ships in orbit and got the feeling that Kylo was trying to lull her into a false sense of security. She had no idea what she was walking into and her stomach was tied in knots, but Rey didn't see any other way around this. The Force helped her find the best place to land just over a rise from the battle. As she landed, Rey was provided a clear view of Kylo Ren pacing in front of Finn as her friend dangled from two chains.

Rey grabbed her floor length gray cloak, pulling up the hood as she left the shuttle. Her saberstaff felt heavy in her hand while crossing the short distance to the hill that overlooked the battlefield. The fighting raged on but all she cared about was the metal helmet of her nightmares that whipped in her direction. Rey could feel Kylo prodding against the useless bond between them.

It was time.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

The First Order was prepared for the ‘rescue mission’ that the Resistance brought to them just hours before the execution was scheduled. The battle between both factions raged around him, Kylo not paying attention to the fight, except for the occasional swat at an incoming blaster bolt or Force pushing a foe who was able to break ranks. All he cared about was the Force. The bond was cold, empty, and his mood darkened every second that passed without feeling her.

All attempts to free the traitor from the rack were easily thwarted by the Supreme Leader. The bodies at his feet proved his point. The battle around him felt incomplete, like both sides were stalling for one pivotal warrior to arrive.

“You are wasting your time, Ren. The Resistance has already warned her. She won't come.” Finn moaned out in pain, feeling in his heart that this was all an elaborate trap. Finn instinctively knew that Kylo Ren's heart wasn't in this role of executioner that he was portraying because the lashes the day before, while painful, were not deadly. Finn was a trooper long enough to know when the First Order wanted to punish and when they wanted to put on a performance. Finn knew that his capture and halfhearted torture was meant as a lure for a certain someone to come out of hiding. 

Kylo Ren wanted Rey.

“That is where you are wrong traitor, she is already here.” A scorching pulse surged through his body, halting his next step.

_Release him, Kylo Ren. I am here._

The voice made his eyes narrow while he gasped in something between pain and pleasure, her missing presence immediately filling him with raw heat. The traitor's head lifted when he heard the mechanical hiss of Kylo Ren's breath and saw a sole figure on the hill overlooking the battle.

“No!" Finn cried out as the bonds holding him were released. "Why are you here?” His battered body falling to the wooden floor of the scaffold. Finn heard the release of pressurized air and looked up to see Kylo Ren remove his helmet. It fell from trembling fingertips, the sound more profound than the skirmish around them. The brute of a tyrant jumped from the platform and strode towards his friend with purpose.

“Protect the woman. Kill all who attack her!” Kylo growled as his Knights immediately dispersed to follow his orders. 

It was chaos around Kylo, but his eyes were only on Rey. He struck down any who were unfortunate enough to stand in his way regardless of the uniform that they wore.

Rey was breathtakingly beautiful draped in billowing folds of cool gray fabrics. Her back was straight with confidence and determination. This was not the same scavenger girl that he knew before, this was a warrior woman walking to meet her enemy in battle. Kylo watched in wonder as she released her cloak while walking, the material sliding down her body to the ground. 

The two approached each other, coming to stop just a pace between them, before slowly circling one another. The awkwardness of their first and only fight was a memory of the past, with the bond, both now knowing each other's movements better than their own. Kylo's stance was powerfully oppressive, his blood red cross-guard saber hissed and crackled with years of built up hateful energy. The woman in front of him looked passive while centering her emotions, a skill that he could never master. Her disinterest in him only fueling his rage.

There would be no interruptions between them. The Resistance would rescue the traitor, tend to their wounded, and continue to fight while he claimed his prize. Kylo was tired of her fighting him, the Force, and their bond. Yes, Kylo said something hateful, and false, but he would make Rey listen to him and they would finally be together. His saber was lit and crackling at her while he impatiently waited. The saberstaff in her hand lit, both sides humming with pure golden light.

“A saberstaff?" His tone was bordering on amused. "Fitting.” Kylo then remarked, noticing the sadness in her eyes, pain he put there. He moved on to try to get a rise out of her, yet Rey was an immovable woman, the perfect picture of balance. An onlooker of the fight would be stalled in stunned silence, not knowing who would swing the first blow but it ended with the adversaries rushing each other with a pair of enraged battle cries. 

The two of them danced, using their bodies to speak to each other with every move as they fought. Rey could feel the passion behind every strike while Kylo blocked her tender yet efficient counterattacks. The bond remained closed, Rey fighting his attempts to connect them, and seeing her while not _feeling her_ was driving him mad. It became abundantly clear to him that they would fight until they were no longer able to draw breath, if need be, they were finally equally matched. There would never be a victor between the two of them. 

Rey watched him closely while they fought, bringing back memories of their past. Their first battle in the snow with a weapon of death burning around them. What would have happened if she had said yes to his offer to teach her? Could they have been together? Would Snoke have allowed such a bond to exist?

What if she had accepted him in the throne room? If she had just waited, listened to him, maybe talked to him, could she have saved the Resistance and kept him? The train of thought burned her eyes, but she refused to cry, there would be no more tears shed for Kylo Ren. 

The unmasked man before her was breathtaking. Kylo was as beautiful as he was deadly, this imperfectly perfect man. Every move that he made was fueled by his strength and raw power. Every word that Kylo spoke was inflamed with passion. Why did this have to be their path when they were shown a very different future?

Rey could feel the Force surround them while they fought, whispering...begging for them to stop. The Force trembled in fear of what was to come. The two of them needed to be fighting together, united, because something was coming that neither side was expecting.

Kylo Ren ignored the Force and that terrified voice permeating within his blackened soul. It begged him to listen, knowing some terrible secret, but he refused. Only rage and passion fed him now. He knew he would never beat her, unable to ever strike her down.

“You're _finally_ showing potential Rey..." Kylo started, smart enough to keep any derogatory names from leaving his lips. His stupid mouth was what finalized this rift between them in the first place.

Rey ignored the previous warnings from the Force and there were no visions to assist her today. No, this time Rey saw the danger before she felt it. A Stormtrooper pointing a blaster at the Supreme Leader's unprotected back as they fought. It could have been a Resistance spy or a rogue stormtrooper that was going to make a name for himself and Rey moved without thinking.

“No soldier!" Came a cry from across the battlefield. "Stand down! That's a direct order!” The booming voice of Leia Organa could be heard seconds before two shots were fired. One from her blaster into the head of her own spy and the other coming from the Resistance spy 10 yards away from the Supreme Leader.

Rey couldn't see Kylo's face when she rushed towards him in an attempt to save his life, her enemy’s life. The scarlet bolt entered between her shoulders before exiting through her chest. The force of the bolt colliding with her body sent her into Kylo's arms. 

Kylo abandoned his saber in order to catch her, glad that the dead man's switch worked, the scarlet beams immediately powering down. Rey was dead weight in his hold, her arms hanging limply while her head fell on his heaving shoulder. 

The pain was excruciating, her vision was dimming quickly. An inhuman scream could be heard around her, calling her soul, the clenching of her heart knew it was Kylo. Her breath was hitching as blood filled her lungs and eyes were closing when strong arms around her before she focused on his frantic expression. She cringed when his firm hands pressed on her bleeding chest wound and releasing a weak whimper of pain. 

“No, no, I didn't want this!” The hysterical voice of Kylo Ren cried to her, as he desperately trying to stop the bleeding. “Stay with me! Please Rey!”

When pleading didn't work, Kylo roughly shook Rey, forcing her exhausted eyes open, "Don't you dare give up on me scavenger! You aren't leaving me...not like this, not ever"

The world was closing in on Rey, her heart struggling to pump blood to her vital organs. Her thoughts were fuzzy, and she tried to make sense of scenes that flashed through her memories.

Judging from the distressed movements above her, Kylo was safe. She saved him, he was alive, for now. His mind was a dramatic mess of terror, rage, and confusion so she couldn't reach him over the bond. Kylo needed to leave, he had to save himself but the tight hold on her body spoke volumes.

_He would never willingly leave her._

It took a great deal of effort, but Rey was finally able to discern the most loyal of Kylo’s Knights of Ren. The Knight’s Force signature was strong, like Kylo’s, yet it was the worry that he felt for his Master that drew Rey to him. The bridge opened to his mind, allowing Rey a split second to reach out to him.

_Safety...Get him out of here...Take him to safety...please_

Rey heard movement behind Kylo as a masked figure began to pull his struggling form away causing her body to hit the damp ground. Her right arm stretched out like it was reaching for him, her vision fading by the second.

Kylo could sense her fear as if it were his own and his brain couldn't comprehend what was happening around him. One moment they were fighting and the next he was catching Rey before she hit the ground. 

Rey's light faded through the Force prompting him to fight off his Knights like a rabid animal, before racing back to her side. As he scrambled towards Rey, a blaster shot landed between them, causing mud to splatter across his face and immediately halted him. His mother stood behind Rey with tears running down her face and a blaster pointed at him.

“The next one will be aimed at your head, _Kylo Ren_.” Leia threatened, growling at the creature before her. 

Finn stumbled behind the General to help Rey while Kylo watched in agony as the traitor tore open her tunic and reapplied pressure to her chest wound.

"General..." Kylo spoke to the woman who gave him life and was standing in front of his bond-mate like a mother Cherfer protecting its cub from a predator. "Mother… please..." 

Leia could see the love that filled his panicked eyes, imploring her to let him near Rey. The boy that she lost was standing in front of her, begging for her to help him. Her Ben stood before her; the blaster began shaking in her trembling hand.

Rey's eyes were open but held a vacant and hollow stare, her body was still, and face pale. Kylo started struggling once more, ignoring the blaster pointed at him, before he was struck in the back of his head with a butt of a lightsaber.

Darkness fell and his world faded away, the last thing he saw was his mother rushing over to Rey's lifeless body.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Leia watched with cold eyes as Kylo Ren crumpled to the ground before being hauled off to his command shuttle by a brutish Knight of Ren. Leia turned and rushed to Rey's side only to hear Finn in hysterics as she placed a trembling hand on the girl’s neck to feel for a pulse, but there was nothing. She placed a hand over Rey's breastbone, reaching out to the Force for any sign of life.

_Thump_

A heartbeat! Leia could work with that! “Get her to the med bay! She's not gone yet!”

Leia called upon the abilities that saved her own life once, what felt like a lifetime ago. The Force surged through her and poured into Rey's bleeding wound while they loaded her daughter onto a gurney. That lovely heartbeat was weak and fading fast but still there. 

Leia closed her eyes and meditated like Luke instructed her once, long ago. The outside world faded away until all that remained was Leia and the precious heart below her hands. It was a hurried tap on her shoulder that broke her concentration, the medical team working around her to help them to the medical facility on Naboo.

The ones closest to Rey waited for hours in a dimly lit hallway. Finn paced like a wild animal. Poe stood in front of the surgery room doors with his arms crossed. Rose cried into her hands. Leia held the weeping woman while maintaining the perfect picture of calm as they all waited.

The events of the day replayed in her head. Leia shot one of her own, a soldier that infiltrated the First Order and did not hesitate to take the shot against the number one enemy to the Resistance, but he also disobeyed a direct order. As much as it broke her heart to execute one of her own, sending a warning shot at her son had been almost crippling.

Since the massacre on Crait, Leia was firm in her belief that her son was gone but when his feral screams ripped over the battlefield as Rey fell into his arms, her convictions were shaken to the core. Ben, her Ben, the boy she used to call son, fought harder than she had ever seen in order to get back to the woman she now calls daughter. It was in that moment that Leia knew she had to make a choice.

It broke her heart to not chose her son..._again_

If Rey died this day, time would only tell which version of the Supreme Leader that the Resistance would now be faced with. The Force felt cold, frantic and flooded with Darkness, Leia didn’t have to be trained to know that it was Kylo Ren losing himself now that there was no light to balance him.

The team looked up as the med bay doors slowly opened.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

The night sky was pitch black and full of stars when the surgeons finally ceased their efforts. The young woman fought into the early morning hours until she couldn’t fight any longer.

_Time of Death: 0145_

From Leia’s post at the foot of the bed, the woman lying under a thin white sheet appeared to be just at rest, but the older woman who was too familiar with death knew the truth. The strain on Rey’s heart ended up being too much and they couldn't bring her back. The surgeon finished giving his report to the General and then sighed out of pure exhaustion. 

Leia didn’t get this far in her career by not having a contingency plan to every one of her operations. Rey became a piece of her heart just as her brother, husband, and son, every obstacle that her kind-hearted daughter was tested with would ready her for a greater purpose. She knew that this couldn’t be the end of Rey, but Leia also wasn't sure if this would actually work as she waved a hand slowly behind the man's head. The surgeon fell to the ground with a hard thud. 

“Luke, are you sure you can remove them without causing further injury?” Leia looked down at the surgeon on the floor beside her, before slowly moving to the side of the bed to stand beside Rey’s head. 

_“Yes, it can be done. Wipe the hard drives of the droids that assisted, no one will know what occurred in this room.” _

The Skywalker twins now stood together, side by side once again, not even death could separate them from their cause. The young woman in the bed was supposed to bring balance to the Force, not become just another casualty of war.

_“Leia, are you sure about having a televised ceremony on Naboo? The First Order doesn’t have amnesty on Naboo, he would be executed on sight. Witnessing this will destroy him, I know you can feel his suffering in the Force.”_

“Rey does not share my blood, I did not carry her in my womb or feed her at my breast, but she was family and I will give her a proper burial. As for Kylo Ren? My son is dead and the monster wearing his face deserves to feel the same pain of all those who mourn for her now.”

Luke watched the tears fall from his strong sister’s eyes, crying over the body of another lost child. A slow wave behind her head brought Leia to the arms of her brother.

_“Rest now, Leia. It will be done." _

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Kylo's nose itched, the annoyance pulling him from his fitful slumber. Blinking and allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness of his quarters, Kylo was surprised to be looking up into the eyes he loved, her fingers pulled back the lock of hair that was tickling his nose. Kylo grinned lazily as the fog from his mind began clearing, his eyes snapped open fully as he sat up quickly in his bed. Rey was shocked by his sudden movement and let out a high-pitched sound of surprise as his arms came around her back to cradle her body against his bare chest. Neither of them had time to catch their breath before Kylo brought their lips together, crying while he kissed her.

“What has gotten into you?” Rey managed to squeak out with a playful but concerned expression as he lightly framed her face with both of his large hands.

Kylo lowered his forehead to rest against hers and breathed in her scent while he continued to hold her close. She softly giggled in his embrace. 

“It's alright.” Rey assured him while running her hands up and down his back. “You're acting like you never expected to see me again.”

Kylo knew that he was holding her tight enough to possibly leave fingertip shaped bruises across the tanned skin of her back, but he didn't care. She was real and whole and in his arms. Her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as he rocked them back and forth.

A startled hitch brought him quickly back to the present. Her body going limp in his arms. He didn't want to look; he knew what was happening. 

_“Don't take her away, please.” _

Kylo woke to a dark room before sitting up slowly. He heaved a pained sigh before throwing his long legs over his bed, scrubbing his palms along his face. For a moment he almost through that he could feel Rey’s warmth beside him, smell her light scent that still stained his hands. He mechanically moved to the refresher to begin getting dressed. A look in his mirror showed blood shot eyes and dark circles under them.

He dressed in his black uniform, looking every part the leader of the Knights of Ren, his helmet covered his face and he brought the hood of a black cowl up. The door to his room slid open and he turned while stretching his hand to the right. The hilt of his saber flew into his gloved hand.

Knight Schra nervously kneeled before him, awaiting punishment. Before him was the knight who knocked him unconscious and drug him away from...

“I will deal with you when we return.” Kylo growled at the kneeling man as he stalked out of his quarters. The walk to the bridge was short and the stoic form of Hux stood before a great viewport. 

Standing behind his General, Kylo looked down upon the planet of Naboo. The world held some of the greatest medical facilities known in the Galaxy. It was the only place that the Resistance would travel to save the fallen Jedi. 

It was also the final resting place of the past Queens of Naboo. Kylo could feel the cold tendrils of the Darkness closing in on his already weakened state of mind. His body was standing on the _Finalizer _while his mind was on that planet with Rey’s fading body in his arms.

“What news from the surface?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … I heart you and all will be well. Catch you on Sunday 😊


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Whoo Boy – That’s all I am going to say.
> 
> Authors Note: This is the end of my story. Thank you to everyone who has read it and stuck with me this whole Journey. I would love to hear from all of you. Tell me what you think!

**Chapter 22**

Armitage Hux stood facing the windows of his office on board the _Finalizer_, watching the planet of Naboo closely. Overshadowing the soft hum of recirculated air and whirling of droids, he could hear the telltale signs of warped metal followed by a primal roar of misery, as lights flickered to the beat of an unbalanced lightsaber.

All things considered, Hux never cared for Kylo Ren. The younger man was a lifelong rival and an ever-present thorn in his side. The new Supreme Leader is rash, impatient, and volatile. The usefulness of the emotionally driven Force user seemed to be at its end with the death of Snoke.

Thinking back, he still didn't understand why he chose to spare Kylo Ren that day in the throne room. There was plenty of time to kill him but the General hesitated while drawing his blaster, allowing Kylo to awaken. In the months that followed, Hux found in Kylo an ally that would bring the First Order to its long due glory.

A gutted scream broke him from his thoughts and called his attention to the datapad held behind his back. Surprisingly, it had been painful to tell his comrade the news about the fate of the Jedi Rey. Any remaining light was snuffed out of his Leader, leaving behind a beast - an extremely powerful and unhinged beast.

The communication between the General of the Resistance and the Supreme Leader was terse and to the point. The request to pay his respects to the woman who the Force bonded with him was denied. General Leia, his mother, advised that if anyone associated with the First Order stepped foot on the planet, they would be executed on sight. 

The precession was broadcasted across the stars, in a funeral fit for a queen, the downed warrior was dressed in a deep grey gown. The gown was traditional to Naboo, with layers of silk, the light fabric fluttering in the wind. There were sweet smelling purple Bellflowers laying around her hair, her hands clasped across her stomach, and a serene look was forever frozen on her face. She was beautiful, even in death, Hux would freely admit, and appeared to be simply sleeping.

Any semblance of Ben Solo and the man who became a benevolent Supreme Leader was now gone, traumatized by the sight of the other half of his soul lying cold and still. The very air around the broken man turned cold, the last time that Hux felt this sense of unease was the day that Ben Solo knelt in filthy Jedi robes and pledged himself to the Darkside. The angry, bitter teenager that truly believed he had nothing to live for and that the entire galaxy against him, becoming Kylo Ren, thus beginning Snoke’s reign of terror in the form of the First Order.

Even the Knights couldn't stop the rage of their Master. Hux barely had time to leave before anything not welded down began to vibrate. The feed from the cameras in the room showed a man lost in grief. Kylo kept hacking with his crossguard saber until he physically couldn't any longer, the fluorescent lights shattering overhead as he fell to his knees.

A weak moan was now the only sound he could produce, Kylo's vocal cords swollen from his screams. The Knights watched with Hux as Kylo lifted a trembling gloved hand towards the viewport and empty space. His body, which now appeared small and curled in on itself, visibly heaved and his outstretched arm lowered to his side like lead. His shoulders rose and fell quickly, each breath felt like swallowing shards of glass and Kylo dug both gloved hands into his eyes trying to stop the tears that fell of their own accord. Finally, after a long moment, he went slack, fell on his side, head bouncing off the polished floor with a sickening crack.

Hux ordered a leery team of First Order engineers to unlock the doors once it was deemed “safe” only to find the _Finalizer’s_ safety precautions still on lock-down. It was only after the main circuit panel was removed in order to start work that the doors released and opened with a burst of freezing air. The technicians, Hux and the Knights looked at each other knowing that it wasn’t them that opened the doors.

There were bright sparks of electricity spraying from destroyed consoles and ripped out cables, the walls were burned and cauterized by the heat of numerous lightsaber strikes, and the metal grated was pulled up and over like waves crashing against a metallic shore. There were bits and pieces of droids that were programed to clean the rooms lying everywhere, and liquids spewing from imploded metallic cores. The overhead lights were flickering, some of them fractured, others were darkened to a sickly golden color and a few remained bright white. The Supreme Leader remained unconscious while the team approached him like a plasma bomb in order to access his vitals. 

Hux spoke to the Knight Jek, the only one strong enough to lift his Master, heaving the limp body over a wide shoulder, "Take him to his quarters and give him a sedative, I have business with the Resistance."

Thankfully there were First Order spies still hidden in the ranks of the rebel forces. Through them Hux learned that the girl's body would be interred, protected from the elements in an open sarcophagus before being buried next to the past Queens of Naboo. The female engineer that infiltrated the First Order with the traitor FN-2187 would stand vigil with the body.

As Hux picked up the holopad to speak to the spy, he sighed. It was a known fact that he disliked Kylo Ren, but he decided then and there he would follow him straight to hell. It took only a few seconds for the mourning voice of the girl to answer.

_You have 5 seconds._

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rose wasn't sure why she took the holocom from the woman who served as a secretary to General Organa, a woman who was bravely outing herself as a spy, a traitor that should be shot on sight, but Rose was tired of the killing.

_This is General Armitage…_

"I know who you are. What do you want?" Rose sat on a stool beside the floating open casket that held her friend.

_I am contacting you in order to request amnesty to pay last respects to…_

"The General already declined this request, why are you contacting me...I won’t override her orders just so that the First Order…"

_It is common practice among warriors to pay respects to a fallen…_

"No, your Supreme Leader can live with a guilty conscience..." Rose argued back, her finger moving to disconnect the comm.

_He loves her!_

Hux's behavior towards herself and Finn aboard the _Supremacy_ was barbaric, but Rose paused at the passionate plea from the once cold First Order General. His tone hinted that Hux might even be able to feel compassion for the wounded soul of his Leader.

There were changes happening within the First Order. The question that plagued her was 'Why?'

Rose stood up and approached the body of her friend. The Resistance and the First Order soldiers that were fighting close, witnessed Rey take the killing blow intended for Kylo Ren. They saw how distraught the normally masked and passive man was as Rey was dying in his arms. 

It was Rose who comforted the General while preparing Rey for the funeral. It was Rose who stood by Leia when Kylo Ren, her _son, _pleaded to attend the precession. The voice heard through the holo was of a desperate man and at that moment Kylo Ren would have offered the Resistance anything to just see Rey one last time. Now it would be Rose who would betray that trust…

"The dignitaries from Coruscant will begin leaving at nightfall. The planets shields have a 10-minute window of vulnerability. You have 15 minutes before the next shuttle leaves the planet." Rose sighed before continuing, "The doors will be open, and all recording equipment will be deactivated."

_Thank…_

"Don't thank me, just get it done."

Rose turned off the comm, threw it on the ground, and crushed it with her steel toe boot. She didn't give a second glance to the First Order spy as she began to prepare for her _guests_, knowing that there may be a day when Rose would need to reach someone on the other side.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

The tension in the stolen transport ship eased slightly when the stolen transport exhaled the moment it touched down close to the tomb chosen for the _Last Jedi's_ interment. Thankfully First Order technicians installed cloaking technology to the transport. 

In the moonlight, Kylo Ren appeared much larger than normal and yet Rose could see his steps falter, black leather gloves tightening, and the metallic helmet that hid him from the world appeared heavy and overbearing. She couldn’t see his face but knew this was the walk of a broken man. He paused for a brief moment and turned to look at her leaning against the door. It was the hiss of the helmet that prompted her to devote her attention to the powerful man while he held the helmet out to be taken, quickly followed by the leather gloves, leaving them in the waiting hands of a Knight.

Kylo strode into the surprisingly warm chamber, the dark metallic coffin hovering in the middle of the room. It took two attempts to force his feet to move to where she lay. The heart in his chest that solely beat for her was now clenching, disrupting his breathing, and his eyes started to burn. Kylo lifted one hand to feel heated tears now trailing his cheeks, a few catching on the corners of trembling lips. He took a deep breath, held it in, and tried to center himself before moving again towards Rey.

The chamber filled with a sense of _wrong_, he could almost feel the Force gather around him, urging him into action. None of this was right, this wasn't what he wanted at all. They were supposed to be together. He was born to be hers and Rey was made for him. The Force bonded the two of them, urging every action and reaction that they took since the moment that she fired at him on Takodana. 

Yet here she lay in a bed of soft fabric with flowers in her hair, forever out of his grasp. The enormity of what was happening hit him at once. His Rey, his strong scavenger girl, would never see the sun again. The universe felt colder without Rey’s Light. 

Kylo’s breath caught. He would never see her heavy with child, never know the joy the moment that she told him he was to be a father. Their children would never welcome the world with their shrill cries. A new rush of tears fell freely at the thought, he would never hold his son...their son. This woman was meant to be his Queen, the Light behind his dark reign. 

Kylo hovered a trembling hand over the cold skin covering her breastbone, protecting Rey’s heart. He begged to Gods that have long been dead to him, for a miracle, pouring every speck of light left in his black soul into her vessel. The room was filled with an azure light from his poultry attempt at Force healing, a skill long forgotten, from a life that was only a memory. The skin under his hand warmed but there was not one quiver of life.

The lightsaber clipped at his waist tempted him, it would be easy to do it, no one could stop him. Kylo could join her in the Force, but it wouldn’t be enough, Rey was in a place he would never be permitted to follow. She was bright and beautiful in peace and harmony, while he would be standing before the gates of Hell. No, he wouldn’t join her now, this life would be suffered through and perhaps one day he would atone enough to finally stand by her side. 

Kylo stood steadfast, her Dark Knight, but there was nothing to protect her from, for it was by his stubbornness that she had fallen. With unseeing eyes, he still refused to believe what was in front of him until his Knight, Schra, warned him of the time. He leaned down, framed her face with soft hands, and gently kissed the cold lips of the one he loved. 

Schra watched his Master place one last kiss on the girl’s forehead before softly whispering _“I love you. I'm forever yours.”_

Kylo laid a trembling hand on her clasped ones, lingered for a moment, before standing slowly while straightening his clothes. A look was shared between the Knight and Kylo, a silent agreement to closely guard another secret between the two old comrades. The helmet returned to his head, sealing him from the room, and with a final look at Rey, turned and strode away. 

The girl, Rose, if he remembers correctly, waited in the hall for him to pass. His height forced her to look up into the helmet that instilled terror, not knowing what to expect. 

The Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, the Jedi Killer tilted his head to her in a gesture of thanks...respect...promise of her silence perhaps, before leaving just as he arrived.

**~~~~ Page Break ~~~~**

Rose yawned, stretched, and stood up from the console that she was working on. For the past hour she has been covering her tracks by scrubbing video surveillance and changing the security codes to the tomb due to a _‘mechanical malfunction’_. It was now time for her to pay her last respects to Rey, the tears she was bravely holding off now trailing down her cheeks. Rose turned away from the body of her friend and gathered her tools, stopping at the door when she heard the shrill beep of an alarm.

The malfunction was easy to fix; however, it was the deep inhale that drew her attention to the coffin. There was a fading outline of a hand over the skin covering Rey's barely beating heart.

Rose dropped her tools and said the only thing that came to mind.

"Kriff."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Thoughts
> 
> Thank you again for reading. I love all my comments and kudos that I receive. What will happen now? Maybe a continuation is on it’s way *wink*


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